there's no place like gnome.

In this edition of what Einstein ate —

Soap. A portion of a bar of soap.

The soap had been sitting on the lower shelf of the shower for months. Months. He never paid it any attention until one day, when I got home from work, I found him chowing down. (He wasn’t already in the process of eating it when I got home. See, the dogs sleep all day and are perfectly lazy while Dave works from home. Then, the minute I walk in the door, they decide they want attention. And sometimes the puppy declares he wants attention by doing not-so-great things. Case in point. Eating soap.)

Now, it was a smaller, used bar and he ate maybe a third of it. But still concerning? It was a black soap, charcoal of some kind. I was concerned.

Our first instinct is to induce vomiting. This we had to do many times with puppy Emmett; this was a first with puppy Einstein. (I can hardly believe that, based on the things he has ate.) Hydrogen peroxide down the throat and the dog was thrown outside to throw up the chunks of soap.

Except he didn’t. And didn’t. And just stared at us through the door as we stared at him. It’s like he wasn’t even phased by the bubbles in his stomach. And then we started to worry that somehow the combination of peroxide and soap was ineffective or terrible or … and then I just got worried.

So I called the vet. Because the kind of soap was unknown, they suggested I bring him in to induce vomiting there. Sigh. Another vet bill but I knew I would feel better if he just got it out of his system. Into the car we went.

I put the car in reverse, we got to the end of the driveway, and then I thought – well. If this isn’t dumb. I really should cover the seat with a towel in case he pukes in the car. I was so concerned with getting out the door quickly and packing my work computer so I could sit in the car to finish the work day while he was inside the vet office ridding himself of soap.

I put the car back in drive to pull back to the house so I could get a towel —

And you guessed it. Puke. All over my car seat. Chunks of black soap and all.

Pro: no vet bill necessary. Con: cleaning the car.

I sure haven’t been blogging (Sorry, Marilyn.) but I have been doing other things.

Like reading. FOR FUN. I think eight years of post-high school academia stomped the desire to read out of me. This is the kid who would stay up late reading, who read The Babysitter’s Club books four times over, and who spent a campout with friends in the tent reading the last chapters of the most recent Harry Potter by flashlight because she couldn’t stop.

Ten years distance from seminary graduation (Let’s pause to ponder how that is even possible.) and I find myself reading on a more consistent basis. Not in any crazy capacity but with steadiness. I’m the first one up in the morning (Well. First human. The dogs will make sure I am up because they eat their breakfast at 6 am, people.) and will often enjoy a few chapters while I eat breakfast and take my first sips of coffee. If the book is a can’t-put-it-down-kind-of-book then reading spills into the evening, sometimes while riding the outdoor-bike-on-an-indoor-trainer that we have set up in the living room this time of year.

Here’s what I’ve been reading the last six months* –

• The Guest List by Lucy Foley (This was a finish-at-night book.)
• The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune (I still think about this book. It lives in my heart. I laughed. I cried. So good.)
• Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (A curious group of people knit together in funny/poignant ways.)
• The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (A sucker for YA lit.)
• Before the Ruins by Victoria Gosling (Eh. Okay.)
• The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave (Another finish-at-night.)
• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (Thoughtful.)
• Elinor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman (Another favorite from the list. Charming.)

* I read on my kindle 95% of the time. I check out the digital books from the library which sometimes means, if they’re popular titles, they sit on my holds shelf for months until they are available. Then – oh – the excitement when they become ready to download!

The other fun thing I’ve been up to? Cooking new recipes.

Not every night allows for a new recipe but I try and sneak one in every couple weeks. Tonight was sweet potato and cauliflower chowder, a recipe I originally tore from a magazine but is obviously available online which makes me wonder why I subscribe to said magazine. Anyways. (Always a sucker for soup season here.) It’s on the fence as a keeper or a toss. Jury’s out. A couple nights ago it was turkey chili calzones. Meh. We won’t make those again. We tried Christina Tosi’s haute dogs to use up some meat market hot dogs on the verge of freezer burn. They were pretty tasty … but then again, what of hers is not? Quick chicken lo mein with some substitutions (We subbed out the mixed veggies – ew, corn in lo mein – for frozen broccoli and peppers) was pretty decent. Italian wedding soup from Iowa Girl Eats (one of our fav sites for recipes) was outstanding. (Again. Soup season.) Oh. And we’ve become we-make-our-own-granola kind of people, using the recipe from thelazygenius Instagram account of all places. (The Lazy Genius Way is a book I own and have only half read. Hence it not being on the list above.) Below is her magical concoction a la screenshot. We keep a container in the fridge at the ready for yogurt&fruit time.

Over the course of the last couple months, I’ve added a new item to my craft show inventory. Ever in the colorful and practical way, eye glass cases have made their way into my heart. I keep one in my car for my sunglasses (which before I’d just throw in the cupholder) and another in my office for my blue light blocking glasses. There are some listed in my online store but I’m super excited for them to make their craft show debut, hopefully in the fall when craft shows have resumed. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I keep plugging along and adding a few to my inventory here and there so I’m ready when the first show arrives.

There is now yarn in my craft room. YARN. I tried knitting years ago; no thank you. This year I decided I would try crochet. Maybe it would help me stay awake when we watch tv on the couch at night? (Otherwise I’m usually drooping by 9:30. Sometimes 9 depending on how exhausting the work day was.) I was inspired by instagram and modern granny square blankets; I thought to myself, I could do that. YouTube will teach you anything days. I think I’m getting the hang of it and rewarded myself with oodles of yarn colors to choose from as I continue on this new crafty adventure.

I finished a heart quilt back in February. It’s backed in minky and is a cuddly couch quilt. It was a kit I bought from Maker Valley in an after-Thanksgiving sale. It was super easy to assemble and, as always, I love the bright colors. Here it is being basted on the sunroom floor –

Every time the conversation has an appropriate opening, I’ve been telling everyone about Iowa Girl Eats. We’ve followed her blog for a couple years now but recently have made a couple more meals that have astounded us. I love her use of unsweetened almond milk and cauliflower rice. While most of her meals are gluten free, because that’s not a necessity for us, we just sub standard ingredients. Here are our favorite Iowa Girl Eats:

• Cheesy Ham and Broccoli rice skillet (We use cauliflower rice.)
• Homemade cream-of-chicken soup (We use this whenever a can of cream-of-soup is required in a recipe.)
• Vietnamese-style Carmelized Ground Pork bowls (We just made this a week ago. It was amazing. While we had to open the windows because the house smelled like fish sauce, we’d still make it again.)
• Breakfast Taco Casserole
• Maple Pumpkin Oatmeal Breakfast bars (Dave was on a kick for a while where he ate these every morning with a dollop of yogurt. We’d keep them in the freezer and he’d pull one out each day.)
• Cheesy Cauliflower Soup
• Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas with homemade sauce (These are on the menu this week for the first time. I expect they’ll be delicious!)

The other place we’ve gathered recipes that have been nothing but home-runs is King Arthur Flour. I’ve made their 2021 Recipe of the Year a couple times now with nothing but tasty results – Perfectly Pillowy Cinnamon Rolls. Dave gets his bagel recipe from King Arthur and their cheesy pan pizza (2020 Recipe of the Year) is amazing. We picked up their Baker’s Companion at Costco; it’s 500+ pages of recipes, science of baking, and tips. I am convinced they can do no wrong.

Einstein. Little Dog. Sometimes jerk and sometimes cuddler extraordinaire.

Einstein was pretty much not feeling his tip-top self until maybe a month and a half ago. Lots of trips outside, especially in the middle of the night. Special prescription dog food, a couple extra vet appointments, and now he seems to be back on track.

Here’s a list of things he’s ate: a hole in the carpet; part of an old, vintage chair arm (that already had a hole – he was just helping make its appearance more known); sticks; Dave’s wallet; extension cord (that wasn’t plugged in, oh, boy). (To our knowledge, none of these things were connected to his sickness. They were just bonuses.)

Einstein learned how to escape his kennel. His wire, door-latched kennel. I came home one day and Einstein should have been in his kennel … and yet, he greeted me at the door. Huh. I must have not latched the door completely, I thought. But then it happened again. And a third time. Little Houdini unlatches the top latch and somehow sneaks his way out. Because of the dangers involved with the escape, we’ve begun to let the dogs roam when we leave. Nothing has been chewed or destroyed. (Yet.)

He’s a sock stealer and of great annoyance to his older brother. But he’s also pretty darn sweet and cuddly. Smart too. We start obedience classes this week. He continues to get car sick when we reach the one hour mark in motion; still hoping that ceases as he grows older.

It all started with a Christmas quilt. Instagram sucked me in and I had to search and find the Christmas panel to make a Christmas throw of my own. Once I found myself on Fat Quarter Shop’s website, the panel page sucked me in deeper. I ordered not one but three quilt panels. This is their story.

Quilt panel the first. The original. The reason this all started. I ordered the panel and cuddle minky to go on the back. And let me tell you. The cuddle minky on the back makes it the heaviest, comfiest, warmest couch throw. Dave felt it and immediately wanted his own.

Which was a good thing because quilt panel number two was purchased for him. Dave has a love for all things 80s and nostalgic including the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of his childhood. He instructed me on how to grow the panel into throw-quilt size; the actual panel is as big as the green border. The color choices are his (and certainly *cough* not the route I would have went but it’s his quilt). His is backed in a black minky and equally as cuddly as my Christmas throw.

Quilt panel number three is for our nephew who is obsessed with Super Mario. It was his birthday this past week and, as this family has more toys than they know what to do with, we tend to go the homemade or experience route when it comes to gifts. He recently got a Super Mario bed and thus, a Super Mario quilt must be next. (The panel goes to the blue border. I added the polka dots – of course – and gray to make it twin bed-ish size.) It was also a first for me – a machine-stitched binding. While I usually love to sit on the couch and hand sew the binding, time was of the essence and, after the it was complete, I really like how it looks.

I don’t even remember who posted it or where I found it but a couple nights ago I stumbled across this –

I can.not.stop.laughing. I’ve texted it to friends. I found a way to include it next week in my weekly “Monday Meditation” email to the hospice team. I thought about it while driving today and snickered in the car. I just talked to Dave about it tonight and I could hardly get through explaining why it’s so funny to me. Whatever this is, it’s my sense of humor in a nutshell.

I hope it makes you laugh too.

Two things made today extra exciting.

First, I received my first dose of the covid vaccine. The health care company I work for declared hospice employees with direct patient contact to be “tier 1.” As soon as they got their first shipment of vaccines, they began distributing to tier 1 employees. For me, that meant today. There was some gravity to moment; it’s been a long year and (I hope) this means relief is in sight in the year to come, especially for all the health care workers who certainly work with covid patients more than I do.

Second, across from the hospital where I received my vaccine today was a Caribou Coffee. Guys. A Caribou Coffee. In Milwaukee. (A MN coffee chain, dontchaknow.) Now, I know there are Caribous in Wisconsin but I thought the farthest east was Madison. Milwaukee, people! Of course I stopped after I spent my 30 minutes sitting in an auditorium following my vaccination. Now, unfortunately, it’s not a full-on Caribou; it’s shared with an Einstein Bagels. However, I will take whatever amount of Caribou I can find on this side of the state. #icedvanillalatte You can bet when I return in three weeks for my second vaccine dose I’ll stop again.

Salted caramel butter bars. Now, these aren’t new to my recipe box (We served them at our wedding.) but I recently made a pan to take into the office. Here’s why: in my interview for my current job, the last question I was asked was what I would bring to potluck. My interviewers stressed that this was a very important question. Salted caramel butter bars were my answer. Well, potlucks aren’t happening right now (thanks, pandemic) so I made a pan for people to take through the week. Let’s just say they were fans.

Christmas movies. Dave and I are making a list of our favorites to work our way through in the next couple weeks. There are the classics – Home Alone, Elf, Rudolf, Christmas Vacation – and there are others – Just Friends, Gremlins, Die Hard. (Die Hard was the movie last night. I promptly fell asleep.) What’s on your Christmas movie list?

Ted Lasso on Appletv. This is seriously my favorite show of the year. Absolutely delightful. Uplifting. Funny. I will recommend it until I’m blue in the face … and I think I might watch it again before the year is up. (It features a hilarious Back to the Future reference as well. Bonus.)

Vanilla cashew clusters. I bought five pounds of cashews at Costco and plan to make these like it’s my job this weekend. They’re a great treat that’s super mailable and a bit different than a traditional cookie. I’m not sure I’ll be baking any traditional Christmas treats this year when there is no place to take them …

Charlee Bears. We’ve been going through these like crazy as training treats for Einstein. (Of course Emmett gets some too.) We were introduced to these while in NC earlier this year. They’re perfect for putting a handful in your pocket and having treats at the ready. They’re also Emmett and Einstein approved.

The pups have recently found themselves subscribed to Barkbox. We’ve only gotten one box so far but it was the Home Alone themed box and it was absolutely genius. (Check out the theme – seriously. Whoever came up with those toys and treat names, give them a prize.) It will give the little one some toy variety and new training treats each month. As if they weren’t before, they are full-on spoiled at this point. No denying it.

Now things are going to get really exciting …

Car trash bag. I basically work out of my car now so I needed a garbage solution for gum wrappers, mask bags, etc. so I sewed up a version of a trash bag. I loosely followed this pattern, adding in a couple adjustments for more shape. The chaplain who trained me saw it and asked me to make her one. It’s a handy thing (that can be sewn with pretty fabrics) to have. Perhaps it’s a practical sewn item that could get added to Sew Practical’s inventory at some point.

I could blame a couple of things. 1. A puppy who wakes up at 4am and thinks it’s time to get on with the day. 2. Navigating a new job that includes lots of chatting for this introvert. 3. Pandemic, eh? 4. Less day light. 5. Too little coffee. 6. Pressures of the season to get all-the-things done. 7. Any number of other things I’ll think of later that may or may not be actually related.

Life has indeed been pretty tiring lately. Maybe for you too. Today was one of the days the puppy was up at 4am to go outside. I put him back in his kennel with some calming sleepy time music playing (We’ve seriously found that helps.) but to no avail this time. He was alive, awake, alert and enthusiastic. We made it to 5am before we headed to the living room for play time. Overall, he’s a pretty good pup. And he’s darn cute to boot.

My new job is slowly becoming less new. I am mostly done with my orientation and taking on my own caseload of patients and families. My days include a lot of driving, phone calls, and computer charting. I’m also trying to get to know my coworkers – as it’s my job to be a source of support to them too – but golly, that’s not easy in a Microsoft Teams world.

I was talking to Dave about the exhaustion (He’s there too.) and he gave back a phrase I’ve given him many times: small wins. We could maybe call them small joys too. Here’s what I got:

• Two Christmas trees are up and they have lights. That might be as far as we get this year but the lights are lovely.
• A puppy who has now learned to ring the bell to go outside for bathroom breaks.
• A Christmas throw just ready and waiting to be quilted.
• I’m going on a joint visit with a nurse on Monday = a chance to see a coworker in person.
• At least the dog sleeps until 4am instead of, say, 2:30. Perspective, right?
• Christmas shopping (online) for the nieces and nephews.
• To combat the exhaustion, I’m on a kick to walk/jog 50 km by New Year’s day. (It’s catchy if you say it aloud – “50k by New Year’s day.” 12 down, 38 to go.)

Small wins. Small joys. They add up. Fuel to keep going in the midst of exhaustion. Name your own. It might help.