twelve total reasons.

7 Jul
to begin, this is not a pity post.  at all.  just thoughts.  [are we clear?]
I’ve thought a lot about my single-ness since moving home.  I’ve watched The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock about 86 times because it seems to play on the movie channels at all the right times, and I’ll admit, I get easily sucked into nearly any movie with Ryan Reynolds.  It probably does not help to watch a movie about marriage over and over. But also, my friends here are all attached – boyfriends, marriages, and babies.  They’re not apt to spontaneously invite me to do something, or apt to accept a spontaneous invitation from me.  They have other people intimately a part of their life; they live with other people.  I’m involved in three weddings for friends this summer/fall [plus one of a cousin].  I told one of those friends that she could have my “and guest” back and give it to someone else as she struggles to keep numbers down for the reception.  She told me, “It’s in September; you never know!”  Yes, it is a few months off but nope, pretty sure I won’t need that “and guest.”  [Though I also wouldn’t mind being proven wrong.]
Which leads me to my point – a college friend posted this article to facebook tonight – Single for Six Reasons.  The author of this article wrote it in response to another article under the same premise – Why You’re Not Married – which gives another six reasons why one might be single.
The six reasons why you’re not married in the original article [written by a television writer, mind you; these are her words, not mine] are as follows: you’re a b***h, you’re shallow, you’re a slut, you’re a liar, you’re selfish, and you’re not good enough.  Hmm.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t agree.  To any of my single lady friends – these are most certainly not why you’re/we’re not in relationships.  Some credit to the humorist as she does continue to say that she certainly does not believe that last one, but rather, it’s ourselves who think we’re not good enough.  [Breaks my heart.  Thank goodness for Jesus in whose eyes we are always loved and enough.  If only we would think the same about ourselves and each other.]
The six reasons in rebuttal?  You’re patient, you’re confident, you’re successful, you’re beautiful, you won’t accept anything less than you deserve, and you know what you want.  I like these reasons better; these I would like to believe.
Truth be told, for the whole variety of single women out there, any and all of the twelve [plus some] might come into play – agree with them or not and whether I think they apply to my life or not.  But what I agree with most – and I think this comes out of both the original and the rebuttal – is how key it is to know oneself.  I’ll preach until the cows come home [unless they’re traveling from a very very far distance] that self-awareness and knowledge of self is important.  Super-duper important.  
So if I feel like I’m self-aware and know myself as an individual, does that mean I’ve earned my boyfriend card?  That’s okay.  Right now, I’ll play the I’m-okay-being-single card.  I can watch as much Friends as I want and quilt like an old lady with no other commitments.  [phew, right?]  [Though I will also confess in my boredom I have continued to research a trip to Quebec City.  I feel like it would be a great honeymoon destination … or maybe as a I-turned-30-and-find-myself kind of trip.  Time will tell.]  
I feel as if this was a bit of a pointless post.  I guess I wanted to share those articles, without completely letting go of my control or showing my complete and utter vulnerability.  Check?  Check.

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