ordinational emotions.

12 Jul
[ordinational?  a word?  likely not until now.]
In attending ordinations of friends and beginning to plan my own, I often find myself emotional.  Two Sundays ago, the gospel text was from Matthew 11, the text that is read as a red stole is placed on the ordinand’s shoulders.  [“Come to me, all who you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30]  I found myself getting excited, anxious, and ready for this next step and this milestone in my journey into ministry.  
Since then, I can only guess that my actual ordination will be one of teary eyes.  I can’t quite pinpoint exactly what makes me so emotional about the planning of/the day but I can gather a few things.  They say that at one’s wedding, it is such a happy day because it’s the gathering of all the loved people in your life.  I’ve had no such wedding, but I only anticipate an ordination to be similar in that when I look at the congregation, my gaze will be met by so many important and loved people in my life who have supported me.  I look forward to and begin to get sentimental at the thought of family, friends, and congregation members gathering to celebrate God’s call in me to ministry.  The thought of it makes me grow emotional, and so incredibly blessed and thankful.
Forgive my constant admiration and idolization of internship, but I grow so excited to think of their celebration with me.  A year ago when I left, they [my coworkers] had said that they would want to come and be a part of my ordination but I understood that it was eight hours between us.  As I make plans and hear from others, it seems that many of my Dawson coworkers intend on making the drive.  They – and the congregation as a whole – have been such a formational part of my call to and competency in ministry that to even think that they will travel here makes me cry.  So excited.  [Sidenote: I wrote an email to Karen at Grace about ordination details to share with the congregation.  I mentioned the bus sighting of the Dawson mission trip folks I had on my way drive on Sunday and her response?  “I don’t think it was any accident that you saw the bus – you will always have a connection to Grace.”  Tears.  Tears because I want that to always be the truth.  I miss Grace.  I love Grace.]
In the planning of this ordination service, I also see congregation members of my home congregation so incredibly supportive and congratulatory.  I could not tell you the last time that East Koshkonong was host to an ordination; this is new territory.  They have gathered behind me in so many ways as I grew up in those pews – as a high school flute player with the senior choir, as a student in college, as a girl who lost her father, and as a pastoral candidate in seminary.  I grow so excited to share my ordination with them.  [Though I will say that this also comes with embarrassment – I have been absent it seems for so long that my name-to-face recognition is low.  Very low.  Must study the church directory.]
Cassie, who has been ordained for over a month, says that she got out all the tears and emotional breakdowns in the week prior to the service so she remained dry-eyed for the actual day.  [I just outed you, Cassie.  Hope that’s okay.]  I might make this my proposed approach so that when when friends and family read charges, when Cassie leads the prayers, and when Kendall preaches I don’t fall apart at that moment.  It will be an emotional day and an exciting day of praising God and celebrating the work Christ does in the world, in and through each person.
Can’t wait.
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2 Responses to “ordinational emotions.”

  1. ourlittlesliceofhappy July 12, 2011 at 11:33 am #

    Lindsay,We are very excited for you! I don't think we will be able to make the trip all the way to your ordination, but we might be able to make your installation at Red Oak Grove, when ever that might take place. Keep us posted. Congratulations again. We wish you the best of luck. (P.S. Remember our advice regarding the outside cross…)Aaron

  2. cassination July 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm #

    there's no denying it- i was a mess the week of ordination. thinking about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING made me cry. even the day of. but come ordination service- i was just so darn excited. and if you cry- *shrug. you cry. and if you cry so hard you can't speak, then one of us will :)i'm already excited for you! i hope I don't cry at your service! 😉

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