overwhelmed.

I am feeling completely overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed to tears.  I’ll cry at the drop of a hat or the start of a certain song on the radio.   I’ve been feeling such for the last couple days.  I realize that writing on my blog is not going to help that overwhelmed feeling disappear but it might make me feel the tiniest bit better simply to write.  Writing for me is therapeutic like that.  

The overwhelmy-ness [new word?] stems from lots of different places.  From the stress of moving, the long to-do list, and the uncertainty of what my life will be like in the next month … in the next year.  From the thought of how crazy September will be, needing to rely on other people to help me [self-admitted control freak], and sneezing six times.  [literally, six times.  just now.  last time that happened, I popped a blood vessel in my eye.  true story.]  I don’t even know where to begin in this packing bit.  I’m still in this crazy place of unpacking from previous trips and needing to clean and repack and that makes the spacial and strategic part of my brain hurt.  [And not only repack, but pack in stages, knowing that all of my things will not be moved at once but over the course of a month.]  I suppose there is a time when I just simply have to begin.  I feel stress in certain relationships within my life and struggle to know where I stand in others.  I’m tired and have not been eating my vegetables.  

It seems the best way for me to combat this overwhelmed sense in life is to simply ignore everything that needs to be done.    This morning I visited with Grandma, returned books to the library [okay, that was on the to-do list] and checked out a few movies [watching movies is not on the to-do list].  I picked up Molly Bea and we set off for a bit of shopping.  Now sure, there were things I needed.  [a toaster.  batting for a sewing project.  conditioner.]  I could have done the trip in a little over an hour if I was strategic about it.  

Instead of being strategic, I was with Molly.  We were gone for close to four hours, spending far too much time in Target and having far too much fun in Jimmy John’s while reading 20,001 Baby Names.  

I’d have had it no other way.  After stopping at the grocery store [for vegetables] and to chat with my gracious mover-man [a brother of my best friends from high school – he’s being entirely selfless and awesome to me by moving my furniture], I figure I was gone for six hours easy.  Now I’m home and writing this.  One of these days I’m going to need to address this thing called packing.  And some minor car repair.  And packages that need sending.  And a few phone calls and financial bits.  

I think I might take a nap.