I went at Cabela’s tonight because Mabel needs some sort of boundary control, most likely in the form of pain. She runs off a lot these days – if I give her the chance – and it’s frustrating. I say naughty words. So I talked to Duane a lot about my options at the store. If I have any further questions, I’m supposed to call and ask for him. “Just tell me you’re the church lady. I’ll remember.”
This church lady also got her hair cut in the Cities this evening. Her name is Tiffany and I think we’re in a [hair dresser – head of hair] relationship now. She gave me duck clips. The feelings are obviously real.
Remember how yesterday this church lady received a lawn mower tutorial from Bob? [It’s a thing.] Today, I tried to start the mower and it didn’t work. I feel so incompetent and helpless when it comes to mechanical things. Read more about the lawnmower and my feelings here.
This church lady got home late from the escapades in the Cities … and the lawn was mowed. I figure there are a few options behind it –
1. The mower started just fine when Bob stopped by to look at it and then he felt sorry for the pathetic girl who couldn’t do it herself. If so, I’m embarrassed. Completely.
2. The mower battery needed jumping. Bob did so and had to run the engine. So he mowed. If so, I feel guilty that he did the whole lawn.
3. Bob mowed and thinks his pastor is a pathetic church lady who can’t start a mower or do anything mechanical. If so, I feel totally stupid.
The pessimist in me bets on one and three. Chances of me turning beet red the next time I see Bob? Very high. I’ll never live this down. I feel like I should bake him cookies. Or use my magic wand to erase his memory of it. Maybe both.
there's no place like gnome. 
Go with it! Maybe he enjoys mowing lawns . . .
…what about you and Brentt?!did you get a shock collar? Ellie is going to be getting one in the next month or so. I have a good trainer you can call and ask questions to, if you want 🙂