there's no place like gnome.

In this edition of what Einstein ate —

Soap. A portion of a bar of soap.

The soap had been sitting on the lower shelf of the shower for months. Months. He never paid it any attention until one day, when I got home from work, I found him chowing down. (He wasn’t already in the process of eating it when I got home. See, the dogs sleep all day and are perfectly lazy while Dave works from home. Then, the minute I walk in the door, they decide they want attention. And sometimes the puppy declares he wants attention by doing not-so-great things. Case in point. Eating soap.)

Now, it was a smaller, used bar and he ate maybe a third of it. But still concerning? It was a black soap, charcoal of some kind. I was concerned.

Our first instinct is to induce vomiting. This we had to do many times with puppy Emmett; this was a first with puppy Einstein. (I can hardly believe that, based on the things he has ate.) Hydrogen peroxide down the throat and the dog was thrown outside to throw up the chunks of soap.

Except he didn’t. And didn’t. And just stared at us through the door as we stared at him. It’s like he wasn’t even phased by the bubbles in his stomach. And then we started to worry that somehow the combination of peroxide and soap was ineffective or terrible or … and then I just got worried.

So I called the vet. Because the kind of soap was unknown, they suggested I bring him in to induce vomiting there. Sigh. Another vet bill but I knew I would feel better if he just got it out of his system. Into the car we went.

I put the car in reverse, we got to the end of the driveway, and then I thought – well. If this isn’t dumb. I really should cover the seat with a towel in case he pukes in the car. I was so concerned with getting out the door quickly and packing my work computer so I could sit in the car to finish the work day while he was inside the vet office ridding himself of soap.

I put the car back in drive to pull back to the house so I could get a towel —

And you guessed it. Puke. All over my car seat. Chunks of black soap and all.

Pro: no vet bill necessary. Con: cleaning the car.

I sure haven’t been blogging (Sorry, Marilyn.) but I have been doing other things.

Like reading. FOR FUN. I think eight years of post-high school academia stomped the desire to read out of me. This is the kid who would stay up late reading, who read The Babysitter’s Club books four times over, and who spent a campout with friends in the tent reading the last chapters of the most recent Harry Potter by flashlight because she couldn’t stop.

Ten years distance from seminary graduation (Let’s pause to ponder how that is even possible.) and I find myself reading on a more consistent basis. Not in any crazy capacity but with steadiness. I’m the first one up in the morning (Well. First human. The dogs will make sure I am up because they eat their breakfast at 6 am, people.) and will often enjoy a few chapters while I eat breakfast and take my first sips of coffee. If the book is a can’t-put-it-down-kind-of-book then reading spills into the evening, sometimes while riding the outdoor-bike-on-an-indoor-trainer that we have set up in the living room this time of year.

Here’s what I’ve been reading the last six months* –

• The Guest List by Lucy Foley (This was a finish-at-night book.)
• The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune (I still think about this book. It lives in my heart. I laughed. I cried. So good.)
• Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (A curious group of people knit together in funny/poignant ways.)
• The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (A sucker for YA lit.)
• Before the Ruins by Victoria Gosling (Eh. Okay.)
• The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave (Another finish-at-night.)
• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (Thoughtful.)
• Elinor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman (Another favorite from the list. Charming.)

* I read on my kindle 95% of the time. I check out the digital books from the library which sometimes means, if they’re popular titles, they sit on my holds shelf for months until they are available. Then – oh – the excitement when they become ready to download!

The other fun thing I’ve been up to? Cooking new recipes.

Not every night allows for a new recipe but I try and sneak one in every couple weeks. Tonight was sweet potato and cauliflower chowder, a recipe I originally tore from a magazine but is obviously available online which makes me wonder why I subscribe to said magazine. Anyways. (Always a sucker for soup season here.) It’s on the fence as a keeper or a toss. Jury’s out. A couple nights ago it was turkey chili calzones. Meh. We won’t make those again. We tried Christina Tosi’s haute dogs to use up some meat market hot dogs on the verge of freezer burn. They were pretty tasty … but then again, what of hers is not? Quick chicken lo mein with some substitutions (We subbed out the mixed veggies – ew, corn in lo mein – for frozen broccoli and peppers) was pretty decent. Italian wedding soup from Iowa Girl Eats (one of our fav sites for recipes) was outstanding. (Again. Soup season.) Oh. And we’ve become we-make-our-own-granola kind of people, using the recipe from thelazygenius Instagram account of all places. (The Lazy Genius Way is a book I own and have only half read. Hence it not being on the list above.) Below is her magical concoction a la screenshot. We keep a container in the fridge at the ready for yogurt&fruit time.