What Einstein Ate

In this edition of what Einstein ate —

Soap. A portion of a bar of soap.

The soap had been sitting on the lower shelf of the shower for months. Months. He never paid it any attention until one day, when I got home from work, I found him chowing down. (He wasn’t already in the process of eating it when I got home. See, the dogs sleep all day and are perfectly lazy while Dave works from home. Then, the minute I walk in the door, they decide they want attention. And sometimes the puppy declares he wants attention by doing not-so-great things. Case in point. Eating soap.)

Now, it was a smaller, used bar and he ate maybe a third of it. But still concerning? It was a black soap, charcoal of some kind. I was concerned.

Our first instinct is to induce vomiting. This we had to do many times with puppy Emmett; this was a first with puppy Einstein. (I can hardly believe that, based on the things he has ate.) Hydrogen peroxide down the throat and the dog was thrown outside to throw up the chunks of soap.

Except he didn’t. And didn’t. And just stared at us through the door as we stared at him. It’s like he wasn’t even phased by the bubbles in his stomach. And then we started to worry that somehow the combination of peroxide and soap was ineffective or terrible or … and then I just got worried.

So I called the vet. Because the kind of soap was unknown, they suggested I bring him in to induce vomiting there. Sigh. Another vet bill but I knew I would feel better if he just got it out of his system. Into the car we went.

I put the car in reverse, we got to the end of the driveway, and then I thought – well. If this isn’t dumb. I really should cover the seat with a towel in case he pukes in the car. I was so concerned with getting out the door quickly and packing my work computer so I could sit in the car to finish the work day while he was inside the vet office ridding himself of soap.

I put the car back in drive to pull back to the house so I could get a towel —

And you guessed it. Puke. All over my car seat. Chunks of black soap and all.

Pro: no vet bill necessary. Con: cleaning the car.