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a wedding & a werewolf.

7 Aug
The day had arrived.  Friends Krissy and Matt were to be married and I was the one doing the ceremony.  It was my first official wedding I had officiated and the first time I’d ever signed a marriage license.  It was a full day leading up to the wedding at 6pm.  We had rehearsal in the backyard of Krissy’s parent’s house [where the wedding would take place – a beautiful yard with a pond] in the late morning and from that point on, it seemed I was on child duty.  There were seven [yes.  seven.] children under the age of eight in the ceremony and they needed lunch, naps, tuxes, and guidance for pictures.  There is just something about small short children in tuxes – they look like such little men.  Oh for cute.
three of the seven.
The wedding began only a few minutes late, complicated by a processional song that was not quite the one the bride had picked out and a few issues with the aisle runner.  Krissy and Matt stood before me and in front of one hundred family and friends who had gathered for the occasion.  Things were going well.
Except one of the bride’s sons walked up the aisle with a major attitude attached.  I’m not sure what had happened and I was too focused on Krissy and Matt to see what he was doing during the ceremony.  Crouched on the ground between the best man and the groom, he dug in the dirt with a stick and apparently, at one point, shoved grass down his brother’s shirt.  There was something more about dirt and throwing.  It didn’t much matter because, as if that didn’t distract the bride and groom and assembly enough, there was more.
Right around the time of the vows and rings, a mangy old Husky dog wandered into the ceremony and right up to where the bridal party stood.  This thrilled the children who were standing up front – they went right to petting the questionable dog and scratching his stomach.  I see this happening – as does everyone else present – and I can’t hold it together.  There’s a flippin’ dog to my left who just appeared and is now enjoying the attention.  And I’m almost worried the dog might hurt the kids.  What do I do?!  I stare at my papers and try to focus.  Laughter exploded once more when Evan, always a Twilight fan [thanks to his mother’s influence], asks, in reference to the dog, “Is it a werewolf?!”  I can’t even look at the bride and the groom because they are stifling laughter.  This was a point when ad-libbing and throwing a joke in would be good – but I’m just horrid on my feet.  Something to learn and grow.

But the wedding happened, surprise guest and all.  [It’s a neighbor’s dog, I guess.  He heard the party happening and wanted to see what was up.]  The wedding happened, Krissy and Matt are legally married, and the reception was fun.  The dinner and dance was held in a tent right next to where we had the ceremony.  I’ll admit I was skeptical when she said they were having their reception in a tent but it was  an awesome tent.  A Harry Potter tent, as Allen would call it.  There was dancing, a fireworks display, and bubble blowing.  The combination of champagne and the bouncy house only caused one bridesmaid to get sick.  [Just one!  Victory.]  A party rock anthem, sweet caroline, and both nsync and lady gaga.  I had a great time with Banana Lynn and Kyle, Allen, Timmy, and David – friends I don’t see all too often.  I am never opposed to the attention and affection my protective male friends from high school give me including dances aplenty, a “lover’s stroll” around the pond [with five others], and a few “sweetheart” and “darling” pet names; it was good and fun and I love them all.  
Next Banana wedding: Lynn and Kyle’s in September.  This is one where I’m joining pastoral forces with another pastor and will be delivering the message.  Wooten!  Can’t wait!

wedding frustrations.

4 Aug
Weddings have me frustrated these days.  Theologically, culturally, socially … I’m confused and not quite sure about a lot of things.  This is in no regard to myself having a wedding [loooong way off, folks] but rather in regards to doing weddings.  Recall with me [least you forget after my million+one blog posts about it] that I was ordained a few weeks ago.  Pastor Lindsay here.  With the office of pastor is the state recognizing that I can perform wedding ceremonies legally.  Perfect, because I have one to perform this coming Saturday.
I’m finding it to be a fine line – a fine line with complicated turns and steep confusion.  I love it that family and friends ask me to be a part of their weddings in this way as an officiant or preacher.  I love being involved in their day, especially when it does not require me purchasing a $200 dress, $60 shoes, and paying for $80 alterations on an outfit I’ll never wear again.  [Been there, done that and it was fun.  But in my current unemployed state, not purchasing a dress is fine by me!]  But sometimes I wonder if I’m asked to do the ceremony because I’m the easy route and likely the cheap route.  That’s one complication but then theology and culture begin to meld together in interesting ways – ways that, frankly, make me uncomfortable as a pastor.  
I’m called to be a pastor and feel strongly that to marry people is done in a service of praise.  We praise God for the love that He first gives to us, and for the love the we are called to share with others.  We praise God and we make promises before God.  Not only the wedding couple, either, is responsible to uphold their promises to each other, but the assembly gathered promises to lift up the couple in support and prayer.  A wedding is a service of praise and thanksgiving; it is a worship service.  
I’m not quite sure what to do when the couples that I marry – those whom are friends and in my family and whom I love dearly – don’t agree with this approach to the wedding ceremony.  I’m not quite sure what to do when they ask for God language to be removed and for prayers to be few or even completely absent.  I don’t know what to suggest when they don’t want the readings to come from Scripture or how to address the urgency to just get the ceremony over because the party is to follow.  And just because I can doesn’t mean I feel it’s right to just go out and marry people – I think that pre-marital counseling and thoughtful planning [other than just the dress and menu] needs to be considered.  I never dreamed I would feel so conflicted when I agreed [happily and readily!] to do these weddings.
I’m just confused.  Like I said, I’m honored that they asked me to be a part of their day and I’m happy to help them in this way.  But I’m torn between pleasing them and their wants in a wedding service to my convictions in faith of what a wedding really is and my call as a pastor.  Is my job to help them plan the ceremony they want?  That’s where I’ve landed right now, and I think I’ve landed there because, well, it’s easiest.  Not being a part of a church quite yet and with the couples being close friends/family, I feel it’s my duty to go along with whatever they desire.  But to me, that kinda feels like cheating.  Cheating God, cheating the office of pastor, or cheating the couple – I’m not sure.  Likely a bit of all of those.
Culture is no help in this regard.  It’s the show of the wedding and then the reception that is the focus.  The wedding industry makes little profit on the religiosity, order of service, or anything else that directly deals with the details of the actual service.  The focus is on the dress, the decor, and the cake.  I’m all for pretty weddings and fancy receptions if you really want to pay for it, but the ceremony and the promises made before God and the loved ones gathered is the reason for it all.  Can’t we put a little more thought, energy, and time into the meaning of the day?  [It’s like the fight over Christmas all over again …]
If anything, this wedding planning and officiating is making me more aware and prepared as I will come up against this year after year when doing weddings.  [But I also feel I will have more authority to address it as a pastor in a church.]  It is also helping me think about my own far-far-off wedding that may perhaps happen someday.  Wedding industry be damned – I vow to not buy into it when it’s my turn.  It’s not for me, and, honestly, the whole of it makes me angry.  It also helps me to understand what I’ve heard muttered from many pastor’s lips and why many would say they’d rather do a funeral than a wedding.  [Not that funerals are good or happy that someone has died … but you know what I mean.  Right?]

the three gnomes.

29 Jul
It’s a tale much like that of the deathly hallows – of an elder wand, a resurrection stone, and a cloak of invisibility.*  But this tale is one of three gnomes with three lessons for ministry.  These three gnomes magically appeared in the pulpit at my ordination, traveling long distances with Pastor Kendall as their guide.
Gnomes are certainly wise creatures despite the bad reputation they seem to gain.  [Something about stealing socks and pulling pranks from within the weeds.]  These gnomes are theologically wise, having much knowledge of ministry and how to be a non-anxious presence in pastoral care and other situations.  As they shared their perfect three tips at my ordination, so they wish to share with you.

The first gnome, on the left, with his finger to his lips, reminds us that to listen is golden.  In ministry – as in all important conversations and in every relationship – it is important to listen.  Listening, often more than talking, is why we have two ears and only one mouth; use them proportionately.  
The middle gnome, with his hands and arms in a gentle shrug, reminds us that no one has the answers.  Not I, not you.  Sometimes – likely more often than we do – it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”  I don’t know why bad things happen.  I don’t know why there is so much pain in the world.  I don’t know where your other black sock went.  shrug.  I don’t know.  And that’s okay.  It’s honest and it’s true and sometimes it’s the best answer to say that you don’t have the answer.  
The gnome on the right, with hands in a prayerful grasp, seek to show us to pray first and speak after.  If you pray before speaking, the prayer is one of guidance and asking for God’s presence within a conversation.  But, if you pray after speaking, the prayer is one of seeking forgiveness and questions of “why did I just say that?!”  Pray first, speak later.  Pray first.
There we have it.  The three gnomes and the tales of wisdom they came to East Koshkonong to share.  Thanks to the three wise gnomes for their tips for ministry and the ways in which they share the life lessons they have learned.  And thanks to Pastor Kendall for bringing them to me and to live forever in my church office.  [Which they totally will.  They will live on a shelf, occasionally on my desk, and be a conversation piece for all who visit.  Major, major creativity points to KLS.  Awesome sermon to bring home the ordination.  Awesome.]

* Harry Potter reference.  Catch up, folks!

formal vs. casual.

25 Jul
I meant to blog about this a few days ago but, well, time slipped away.  Something about an ordination?
I received a package towards the end of last week.  The return address was Stillwater; the last name was Gieseke.  I knew I was in for a treat.
Inside the package was a bag of all sorts of practical things any pastor needs.  Emory boards, whale playing cards, note paper, glow sticks, and more.  Plus a can cozy.
Yes.  A can cozy.
This can cozy was designed especially for me, to showcase both the formal and the casual sides of being a pastor.  You’d best bet I put it to use last night in the celebration at my house that followed the ordination.  Both formal and casual characters were documented.  I’ll let you figure out which is which.  Good luck.

acceptance.

21 Jul
I received my oh-so-very official letter of call to Red Oak Grove in the mail a few days ago.  It has a gold seal and everything.  By putting a letter of acceptance in the mail tomorrow, I accept the call to serve as their pastor.  This is my job description:
“To preach and teach the Word of God in accordance with the Holy Scriptures and the Lutheran Confessions; to administer Holy Baptism and Holy Communion; to lead in worship; to proclaim the forgiveness of sins; to provide pastoral care; to speak justice in behalf of the poor and oppressed; to encourage persons to prepare for the ministry of the Gospel; to impart knowledge of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in American and its wider ministry; to endeavor to increase support given by our congregation to the work of our whole church; to equip the congregation for witness and service; and guide the congregation in proclaiming God’s love through word and deed.”
I love it.
Game on.

a bassonist and a flutist.

25 Jun
Dave and Veronica got married.  Again.  
And a good time was had by all.
It was fun to spend time with Joe and Amanda as they bunked at my house during the wedding festivities, and it was fun to see Allison and James and Deb and Scott [and baby Isabelle].  It was also so wonderful to officiate the ceremony.  Nervous though I was, it was a lot of fun to be a part of the ceremony for such a strong, grounded couple like Veronica and Dave.  
the Luther crew
Top it all off?  They served macaroni and cheese in the buffet line.  Mac and cheese.  How awesome is that?  There was also much Spotted Cow to go around and coffee with the cake.  Nearly all of yesterday afternoon – when we weren’t writing the screenplay for the new movie Willy Wonka and the Charcoal Factory, Joe and I tried to guess whether or not coffee would be served with the cake at the reception.  We certainly hoped so.  Being that we’re 85 years old, we needed coffee with our dessert.  As Joe would say, it is only right and salutary.
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