sabbath.

5 Jun
Pastor Siri, a former coworker of mine at Trinity in Stillwater, is leading a group of people in reading the book Sabbath by Wayne Muller.  It’s a book that has been on my shelf since it was recommended to me during CPE and a book that I still haven’t read all the way through in those last three years.  I’m thankful for Siri’s structure and accountability in finally reading it as I join in the virtual reading group.  
today’s ponder text.
There is a schedule; a couple chapters a week for the summer.  Throughout it all, Siri will text us questions to ponder and thoughts, along with blogging about it on her blog.  Chances are I’ll be blogging about it too.
Hello.
She sent the first group text today and it encouraged me to start my reading of the book this evening.  

To be unavailable to our friends and family, to be unable to find time for a sunset … to whiz through our obligations without time for a single mindful breath, this has become the model for a successful life.  [Sabbath, p. 2-3]

Muller’s theory is further proved by a commercial on the television just a moment ago.  I don’t even recall what company it was for but this company prided itself in being “unwilling to rest.”  That’s exactly what Muller talks about – we don’t rest and … that’s become a positive thing?  

While many of us are terribly weary, we have come to associate tremendous guilt and shame with taking time to rest. [p.8]  

I can relate to everything he writes and thus, I’m declaring my summer one of sabbath.  That doesn’t mean a summer of vacations or simply making sure I get one full day off a week.  It’s more than that.  It’s a restored rhythm to living.  It’s a way of effortless, nourishing rest. It’s said best by Muller –

Sabbath is a way of being in time where we remember who we are, remember what we know, and taste the gifts of the Spirit and eternity. [p. 6]

Yeah.  That.  That’s what I’m aiming for this summer.  Hold me to it, will you? 

vacation: post three.

5 Jun
I write while watching television and laying on the bed in this room –

I feel relaxed already.
I arrived in Grand Marais and to the destination bed and breakfast in early evening.  Since arriving, I had a colloquial chat with the couple that owns the b&b and walked to a very nice restaurant for a very delicious dinner.  I wondered how eating alone at a toursit-y restaurant would be so I went prepared with a book.  Cliche to read a book about introverts while sitting alone and talking to no one?
The drive to the north shore was quite nice.  I stopped little but for a quick lunch break at a rest stop and an hour exploring Split Rock Lighthouse State Park.  There were many places I wanted to stop [a crazy roadside flea market which – from what I could tell – had tables upon tables of only fiestaware pitchers] but was on a schedule to arrive at my final destination.  Hopefully on the way home, I’ll have more room to stop and browse rivers and waterfalls, wayside rests, and random flea markets.  For now, I relax and be gradually more and more nervous about kayaking tomorrow afternoon.  
lunch.
this cold water makes me fearful for my kayaking adventure.
split rock lighthouse.

gospel messages.

4 Jun
I felt preached and ministered to twice on Sunday and neither was the sermon in worship.  [gasp.  yeah.  a pastor just said that.]  These were both gospel messages I needed to hear.  
The first was during worship.  If you are in the Dawson community, you know but if you’re not, you likely don’t know the talent and awesomeness of musicians at Grace.  Two of them together sang a song during the offering.  And not just any song – a song they wrote.  Deep gratitude to Jacob and Kelsey [who also happen to both be children of internship coworkers] for sharing this message and sharing their gift of words and music.  I needed to hear it.  I think my purpose needs a little realigning … but not necessarily by me.
The second time was just as I was leaving gnometown and saying my final goodbyes.  [It sounds like the bachelorette.  You did not get a rose.  Say your final goodbyes, says Chris Harrison every week.]  Sharon – who was the chair of my internship committee while I was at Grace – reads my blog and knows that it goes on spurts between depressing and super depressing.  She gave me a hug and then she said something to the tune of you are wonderful.  remember that.
I’m so keen on showing and telling everyone else that they are enough just as they are and created by God … but I often forget that applies to me too.  Sharon, in that graceful way, reminded me.  Another gospel messenger at just the right time.  Thank you, Sharon.  

vacation: post two.

4 Jun
I write from the crazy world of Joe & Amanda – a world filled with laughter, inside jokes, and quoting obscure youtube videos and snl clips.  I arrived around 8pm and we had a lovely dinner of lasagna followed by ice cream with homemade cookie dough [sans eggs] balls.  [Enter ball jokes here.  They ran amok.]  And there was coffee.  J&A sure know how to welcome a friend. 

 You should know that they are very hospitable people and always have been.  It’s even to the point where Joe checks under the guest bed for monsters before we turn in for the night.  He says he scared them away but if they come back, I’m supposed to go get him and he’ll get his monster spray.  Thanks, Joe.

This night in Sioux Falls comes after another lovely day in Dawson.  I worshipped at Grace [with tears in my eyes more than once – for missing the community and for the gift of simply being able to worship] and spent a long coffee hour chatting with Batman and his wife.  I had lunch at Kendall & Emily’s and spent a few hours with Karen and her family.  We went for a walk around Dawson and talked sewing.  Karen passed on an awesome book written by her sister-in-law.  I see summer projects in my future!
The last order of business in Dawson was one more graduation party.  Counting the table I shared with organist Chris at the party, I connected with every one of my wonderful coworkers from internship this day, plus many more awesome congregation members.  There were more hugs.  More come back soon!  More wonderful gnome support.  It’s still hard to leave but I was so thankful for the opportunity to visit, even if so shortly.  There’s no place like gnometown.

vacation: post one.

3 Jun
Vacation is here and it’s wonderful.  [I’m choosing to temporarily not address the fact that a member passed away last night and I have funeral details to figure out for a Saturday funeral.  Eventually, I will have to address it … but it can wait until Monday.] Here’s the play-by-play so far –

I dropped Mabel off at her favorite home-away-from-home and home for the next week – Camp Canine Kennels – and headed for Golden Valley to the wedding of Frank and Kate.  It was super fun to reconnect with seminary friends I hadn’t seen lately both at the church and at the reception that followed at a local park.  Super low key and chill.  [I’m taking notes if I ever get married.  Low key = great.]
Following the wedding and reception, I spent the evening with gal pal, Sara, and her boyfriend, Josh, at their new house.  We ate at a local malt shop in Chaska, chatted with the neighbors, and introduced Josh to Carcassonne, the dorky German boardgame.  [During which he called his meeples “meatballs.”  We let it pass; it was mildly humorous.]  An episode of The Office, overnight oatmeal in the crockpot, and a little local antiquing was all part of the fun and frolic too.  [I bought a window for $12.  Don’t laugh; it’s cool.]  A little shopping at Gander Mountain and Punch pizza rounded out our time together.  It was lovely.

I left Chaska and drove west in lovely weather to the town near and dear to my heart.  I always tear up a little bit when I drive into Dawson; this town and its people have been so good to me.  Two sons of coworkers from my year of internship are graduating from high school and it made a perfect excuse to visit.  The first party was this evening and it was super fun to catch up with so many people. I’m going to attend worship at Grace tomorrow morning and stick around for the second of the two graduation parties.  It’s so great to be here.  I’m spoiled by all the hugs.  [Seriously.  I love seeing these people for so many reasons but one of the big ones is the hugs.  Love it.  Love them.]
We’ll round out leg one of the vacation with an overnight in Sioux Falls tomorrow night [a two hour drive from Dawson] with Joe and Amanda.  They always know how to keep things interesting and keep me laughing; I’m looking forward to it!  It will lead to three different beds in three nights.  One could say some pretty crude jokes about that but really what it means is that I’m blessed to have so many friends in so many different places … and they’re willing to let me sleep over.  Grateful this girl is.

bacca-what?

31 May
Wednesday was baccalaureate for the seniors of the Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms.  [I still can’t get over that their mascot is a flower.  I no longer have the privilege of complaining about my high school – the Crimson Tiders.]  This service was held at the Catholic church in Blooming in the evening and all six pastors from the town participated in the service.  
What do you get when four Lutheran pastors, a Baptist minister, and a Catholic priest lead a service together?
First, Lindsay gets ulcers and then we get ice cream at Dairy Queen.
I remember telling Kendall on internship that I don’t do surprises in worship.  I like a clear plan with nearly every word I say scripted.  I like to know where I need to be when and how I will get there.  If these pieces don’t exist, I get anxious.  I need to know what’s going on and my role in it all or palms are sweaty, the voice chokes, and nothing can be in any sort of focus but a nervous one.
The six pastors met beforehand but no one said, “Hey.  Let’s walk through the service together.”  [I suppose I could have been that person.]  No one, as we walked to the back of the sanctuary to lead the graduates in procession, said, “Dudes.  Let’s be strategic about who sits where in the aisle based on role and timing.”  [Okay.  I said it quietly and without the initial dudes.  I could have spoken up.]  [And that’s when Stephanie, aka Heidi, aka a pastor at the big Lutheran church in town, said, “You should blog about this.”  It was all sorts of circus.  Check.]
The service happened.  We processed, prayed and preached.  Songs were sang and Scriptures read.  We high-fived the graduates as they left the church in lines – a high-give gauntlet, if you will.  Survival was the result.  Thanks be to God.
Thanks be to God because the pastor tradition is to get ice cream afterwards.  A fun tradition, say I.  A late night treat that reminded me how thankful I am for companions in ministry.  How awesome is it that I get to be a part of services like this next to a seminary friend with whom I can fist bump before leading the benediction?  [And who begins to eat my ice cream by mistake but I feel comfortable enough sharing germs and saying, “That’s okay.  But keep your own spoon.”] I’d say it’s pretty rare that two seminary classmates – let alone pretty wonderful friends – end up sharing in such ministry right out of school.  And how awesome is it that the two Lutheran pastors at the big church in town are so great?  One – Stephanie/Heidi – is my mentor which basically means we go out for ethnic food or coffee once a month.  [Not a bad deal.]  The other is simply pastorally wonderful.  Neither is crazy or off their rocker.  They can be trusted and approached. Thanks be to God.
So bacca-what?  Bacca-circus.  Bacca-ice cream.  Bacca-awesome.

mabeline.

30 May
I like my dog.  Love her?  Maybe.
Not that I haven’t before this point, but Mabel and I have perhaps grown on each other.
I remember the first week she came to live with me and I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  I suddenly had to think about someone else’s schedule and become less selfish in my day to day living.  And then she started pooping in the house and I didn’t like her much for it.
We’ve both adjusted.  While in the first weeks, Mabel would wake up by 6:30 each morning, now she will easily let me sleep until 8 – even 9:30 – if I have the chance.  Sometimes she’ll even put herself to bed earlier in the night if I’m not ready to go upstairs yet.  We have a system down in regards to couch sitting.  I sit on the left; she takes the right.  Sometimes she gets sick of the couch all together and opts for the loveseat with throw pillows; she just awkwardly lays on top of them all, fighting a losing battle.
Then there was her run away phase.  Perhaps we’ve moved beyond that too, at least slightly.  We’ve gotten into the habit of getting a treat upon coming inside so of course – who would run away if there was a treat on the other side of the door?  You’d be a fool to run and see the neighbors when the other option is a minty bad breath fighting bone.
And, well, she’s just pretty darn cute.  She costs me a lot of money between food and boarding and $1.50 special treats, and she requires a lot of cleaning up after [much hair on floor and everywhere].  But she loves ice cubes and eats raw broccoli if given the opportunity.  And she’s pretty damn funny when it comes time to throw a ball; it’s like she is all of a sudden a total puppy again.  Plus, it’s pretty great to have someone to greet upon getting home; I call her my sweetie-pie-honey-bunch.  
Maybe it’s Mabeline. I like her alright.  

introvert.

30 May
It used to be a dirty word in my world.  Like I should wear a scarlet I on my clothing to warn people to stay away.  [Huh.  Somedays maybe that actually isn’t a terrible idea …] I’d like to think the negative connotation of the dirty word is finally changing.
I remember meeting with my candidacy committee, way early in my process to become ordained as a pastor.  They told me I needed to work on my introvert nature.  I took this as a low blow.  Perhaps they didn’t mean it as such but to me, it sounded like they wanted me to change, and that without that change, I wouldn’t make a good pastor.
Then I recall taking my psych test for the candidacy process.  [Do you like to read auto mechanic magazines? was a question on the test.  Um … no?]  I met with the doctor to go over my results and he drew a line on his whiteboard.  On one end were extreme extroverts.  On the other, extreme introverts.  He put an x on the line at the extreme introvert side.  I once again got the impression this was not good.
Add to that one of the main reasons I’d felt for years I couldn’t be a pastor was because I was such an introvert.  I was not getting the idea that seminary would not work for this quiet, introspective gal.  I wasn’t sure they [the powers that be] were going to let me go through with it.
Enter my time at Trinity in Stillwater and one awesome coworker named Jodi.  I finally learned that my introvert nature didn’t need to be changed.  That I could be who I was and still be a pastor.  And – not only that – being an introvert named Lindsay was awesome.  Because it’s all part of my unique design as one of God’s children.
Ever since then, I’ve been intrigued by the introvert/extrovert types and how I fit into one so obviously and not the other.  I’ve been amazed at how true it is – how sometimes just ten minutes of stepping away by myself can make all the difference in the world.  It’s made me incredibly self-aware in the last years and months and weeks about my limits and my own self-care.  I’ve also been amazed at how still some people don’t honor it, or still think this extrovert ideal is the best approach.  Boo to them.

I just started in on a book about introverts [I think I’ve told you about it before.] and I’m loving it.

What I’m not loving is the suggestions B&N gave me to purchase in addition.  Are you suggesting I’m ill, B&N?  And The Loners’ Manifesto?  Really?  Slightly offended.  And slightly laughed at the connection.  Now leave me alone.  I need to be by myself so I can write my manifesto while being ill because that’s what I do.

just kidding.  
I love you.  
But sometimes I do need time to be quiet and be by myself.  Don’t take it personally.

please, sir –

29 May
– may I have another rhubarb margarita?
aka the farmgirl margarita.
aka deliciousness.
aka this farmgirl’s perfect drink for a monday afternoon.
aka a memorial day treat.
aka the day when we celebrate france.  [I think that’s right.]

I spent memorial day proper hanging out with the peeps in Owatonna.  
We ate grilled food, held a baby, and played bocce ball.  
It was just what the doctor ordered for this tired, stressed and burned out girl who is hanging on by a thread until vacation begins. 
Exactly what I needed.

another world.

29 May
Paige and I went high class last Thursday night.  We wined and dined at the Four Daughters Winery in Spring Valley, MN.  And, boy, were we out of our league.
We had driven past this gem of a place on our way to a meeting at Good Earth Village a week prior.  Intrigued were we and we signed up for their Thursday night tour and dinner.  It wasn’t cheap but we splurged. 
We joined a whole crew of people who apparently do things like this for a living.  You know, expensive dinners of grilled watermelon salads and smelling their wines.  “Tell me more about your barrels.”  “This one time, we flew to DC for the day …”  “When I climbed Kilimanjaro …”  “This lamb is superb.”  “Can you smell the sulfur?”  “Actually, creme fraiche is …”
Except the lady next to me.  When our strawberry soup dessert arrived in front of us, she made some comment about her young son.  “It’s like a smoothie he left out too long.  It’s melted smoothie.”  Thems my kind of people.
It was fun despite the one-upping all through the table and the noses in the air.  And the fact that we all sat at one table and thus they could charge us 20% gratuity.  Don’t worry – we grounded ourselves and lowered our noses once we stopped at Culver’s for ice cream.  [Strawberry soup is not proper dessert in our books.]  It was the perfect escape for this girl after a real crappy and long Thursday of work.  

My, what nice barrels you have.

Because who doesn’t love grilled watermelon and chive blossoms? 

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →