a ha. (pause) a ha. (pause) a ha.

8 Nov
I have developed a fake laugh. I’m not sure what this says about me, my setting, or my ministry but I have a fake laugh. It goes like this: a ha. (pause) a ha. (pause) a ha.
It’s disgusting and not funny at all.
I’m not proud of it. I find myself doing it and then immediately scold myself silently. “Lindsay, why are you laughing like that? Don’t fake laugh!” But I keep doing it. It seems I can’t help it – it just comes out.
And it’s not that is comes out when a real laugh isn’t warranted or when I feel a laugh is required for the other person’s sake; sometimes I find something funny and the fake laugh happens.
I’m trying to stop, honestly, and dearly hope none of you are ever subject to the a ha. (pause) a ha. (pause) I apologize in advance if that be the case.

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