lonely.

15 Jun
In the last two weeks, I’ve been told two specific things, each three times.  Stay with me –

Three different times, people have told me that they appreciate my honesty.

Three different times, people have had conversations with me about how lonely ministry is.

I will now share with you honestly how ministry is lonely.

ding.  turn page.

Ministry is lonely.  That seems like an absurd thing to even say.  You might want to respond, Lindsay, you’re with people all the time.  Part of your job is to have conversation with people.  How is your job lonely?

It is.

The role of an ordained minister is, by its very nature, lonely. People often see us as set apart, which we means we must be intentional about finding relationships that allow us to be our true selves. We desperately need the space to laugh, cry, and rejoice together! [source: supporting young clergy]

True story.  And it’s hard to find those intentional relationships that allow us to be our true selves.  And it’s hard to work at a solo call with no colleague to bounce ideas off us, celebrate, and complain.  And it’s hard to have a long day and not have anyone with whom to share that.

I certainly am surrounded by family and friends who I know I could call and say all these things to … but it’s not quite the same.  I also know how fortunate I am to have Paige, jD, and Lauren nearby; I wouldn’t have made it this far were it not for them.  But it’s still lonely at times.

In every other place I’ve moved [college, Stillwater, seminary, Dawson], there have been potential friends built into the structure – be it coworkers or fellow students.  Here, alone in the middle of a cornfield … not so much.  And I’m completely at a loss where to even begin.

That’s life.  And that’s part of why I cry so much and am slightly, halfway unhappy here.  It’s not all the congregation and it’s not all me.  Part of it is simply is loneliness and part of it is that I don’t know how to fix it.

And I guess that’s really all I know to say about that.

[Talk about an anti-climatic post and ending.  When I first starting writing this yesterday afternoon, I anticipated it being a long, involved post.  … guess not.]

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One Response to “lonely.”

  1. Nathan July 7, 2012 at 10:41 pm #

    Good luck trying to find a solution for this. This is a hard thing for many. You do have a dog who helps, I am sure but not quite the same. Glad you have your friends to help you too.

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