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formal vs. casual.

25 Jul
I meant to blog about this a few days ago but, well, time slipped away.  Something about an ordination?
I received a package towards the end of last week.  The return address was Stillwater; the last name was Gieseke.  I knew I was in for a treat.
Inside the package was a bag of all sorts of practical things any pastor needs.  Emory boards, whale playing cards, note paper, glow sticks, and more.  Plus a can cozy.
Yes.  A can cozy.
This can cozy was designed especially for me, to showcase both the formal and the casual sides of being a pastor.  You’d best bet I put it to use last night in the celebration at my house that followed the ordination.  Both formal and casual characters were documented.  I’ll let you figure out which is which.  Good luck.

crying and smiling.

25 Jul
There’s that Dr. Seuss quote that gets around – “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”
That’s not working out so well for me in regards to [whispers] the ordination.
It’s not all tears – I am smiling.  I’ve been smiling since guests began arriving yesterday.  My friend, Sara, arrived to my house early afternoon yesterday, followed by Cassie.  Dawson folks arrived at church shortly after [including a wonderful surprise as Sharon walked into church!], and then congregation members, call committee people from Austin, family, and more friends.  I smiled when Keith, the custodian from Grace, greeted me with a smirk, a hug, [note: oxford comma] and a “Sunshine!”  I smiled when Miss Molly Bea [my 6th grade cousin and goddaughter] conquered her public speaking fear to read during the service.  I smiled when my mom put the stole around my shoulders, and felt great moments of support and comfort through the hands that were laid upon me.  I smiled when Kendall said, “I’ll be right back,” dipped down into the pulpit, and came back up with three gnomes to teach us lessons.  [More on that to follow.  I will share the gnomes and the lessons with you!]  I smiled during the special music and when I handed bread to my cousin, Sam, during communion as he giggled.  I smiled at how lovely the ladies of the church set up the reception that followed, complete with fancy coffee servers and a quilt/prayer shawl gift for me.  And many hugs.  So many hugs.  I love hugs.  It was a good day.  [More stories certainly to follow.]
But now this morning, I’m crying too.  I cried in the days leading up to the ordination, causing me fear that I wouldn’t be able to remain dry-eyed during the service.  Miraculously, I did.  [I recall this from my last Sunday in Dawson, too.  It’s not because I’m a rock and have no emotions – I think my body holds out on me and keeps me pretty level-headed when I’m in front of people.]  I’m crying because it’s over and because of all the people who traveled and supported me on this day.  I felt so incredibly loved yesterday!  I’m crying because for the last few weeks I’ve been able to say to many of my geographically-distant friends, “I’ll see you soon!”  Now I don’t know when I’ll see them next.  I cry at the wonderful notes that people wrote in the cards I received [“Lindsay, You have been on my daily prayer list for years and you will continue to be on that list.”], and cry at how wonderfully my friends from home and family [some of whom are not so favorable towards church] tell me they’re proud of me and support me.

It was a big day.  A good day.  An emotional service and wonderful celebration.  A ginormous thank you to all those who came, who hugged, who participated, and who were thinking about me yesterday!

I felt the love.  Thank you.

[want to hear a rap about the ordination?  of course you do and my rapping friends, Joel and Melissa, provided!  it’s awesome.  as usual.  “so/ the sun is setting as I write this rhyme/ can you believe it’s almost time/ four years at seminary/ a couple interviews/ hey/ did you hear the great news?/ Lindsay Stolen gettin’ ordained on Sunday afternoon/ near the end of July/ the month after June/ with joy we dance to a little tune/ your feet hit the floor/ the plans have been made/ cold oatmeal with almond milk/ is your breakfast of trade/ a robe called an alb/ a stole/ you’re a pastor/ how the time flies much faster/ how do you feel? … well we’ll just ask you/ you’re a firework/ a dance party rocker/ blogger extraordinaire/ a tight rope walker/ so what we’re trying to say/ through all these words and phrases/ may God bless you this day and always/ for new trails you blaze/ peace and love to you.”

AND if you weren’t able to attend, here’s a section of the service, lovingly prepared and taped by my soon-to-be southeastern MN colleagues.  they’ve already invited themselves over to my house for dinner on sept. 12 and much shenanigans will ensue.  thanks to Lauren, jD, and Paige for this creative greeting!  I am blessed with such awesome friends, all around.  seriously.]

[the sound?  the baptismal font.  love it.]

we do weddings.

18 Jul
My home congregation is currently in interim and the interim has been on vacation for the last couple weeks.  I had a few clergy/wedding questions that I found no answers to online so I decided to visit my grandparent’s church in town and speak to their pastor.  
Pastor Jim was willing to sit down with me and answer my questions.  [Turns out, as a member of the clergy, I don’t need to register with the county/state in order to facilitate weddings.  Weird.]  We then began talking about what was coming up for me and for him, which led to ordination talk and more wedding talk.
My friends, Lynn and Kyle, are getting married at this church in September by Pastor Jim with me in some sort of assisting role.  I’ve done it before.  My friends, Kim and Mike, were married there a few years ago.  I assisted and preached the message.  [Kim is always quite thrilled to tell people that I blessed her.]
And so Pastor Jim and I talk about Lynn and Kyle’s wedding.  He mentioned that he spoke to Kyle earlier that day about pre-marital and beginning to make final decisions for the big day.  Kyle brought up my role in the service, reminding Pastor Jim that both he and Lynn want me to be a part of it.  
Pastor Jim said, “Oh, sure.  No problem.  Lindsay and I do weddings.”

Love it.

I wish –

18 Jul
I’ve been away.  There has been much blogging delay.  
I wish I could say that I’ve been busy hanging out with the hopeful new friend whom I emailed last week but nope.  I think he found me creepy and has yet to respond.  [I’m a wee bit bummed about this.]
I wish I could say that I’ve been busy replying to all of you who have written me emails.  But that’s not true either.  [Responses will come, I promise!]
I wish I could say that I was finishing up the final touches on the latest Cooking Pastor episode but that’s not the case.  I’m working on editing it but this one is taking me a bit longer.  It will be here sometime soon!
I wish I could say that I spent a couple hours at the theater watching the final installment of Harry Potter. I haven’t seen it yet but hope I will find time/friends to see it this week.
I wish I could say that I’ve been steadily focused on ordination and now all of those pieces are in place but that’s just silly.  If everything was ready, what would I have to do/stress about this week?  
Those are the things I have not been doing.  So where the hay have I been?
Playing a healthy and therapeutic dose of Apples to Apples and CatchPhrase with a picnic table full of cousins.  

Celebrating Tobacco Heritage Days in Edgerton.  It’s our summer festival and my way of celebrating included participating/helping at a family rummage sale on Friday, going out with friends on Saturday night, and watching the parade on Sunday.  Perhaps some of you know about my history of stripping [tobacco].  This year, the parade featured a series of floats [read: tractors] that explained the growing,  harvesting, and stripping processes of tobacco.  This is how I used to strip: [you can kinda see the dry-leafed plants hanging upside down.  remove leaves.  put in tobacco presses shown.  press.  bundle.  done.]
Catching up with old friends.  Twins Melanie and Megan joined Kim, Kay, and I for the parade in this lovely 90+ degree day.  Melanie and Megan were two years younger than us in high school but we became friends when they hosted an AFS student, Oksana, whom we all dearly loved.  Seeing Melanie and Megan, sitting at the parade with them, and catching up on each others’ lives seriously warmed my heart today.  
Following the parade, I celebrated with Marj, the mom of another high school friend, Jenni, at her birthday open house.  It was great to see Marj, other friends, and Jenni, who now lives in Indiana with her husband and foster children.  So wonderful.
Rolling, dipping, and decorating 250 cakepops.  Friend Krissy is getting married in three weeks and I said I would help her make cakepops for the reception.  We began at 4pm and I returned home after 11:30.  [My feet hurt.]
That’s where I’ve been.  I hope to be a more consistent virtual friend for you this week as the icky humid heat keeps me indoors.  I’m also fairly certain I’ll need the therapy of writing as my emotions grow out of whack in anticipation of [whispers] the ordination.

be honest –

14 Jul
Am I creepy?
Sometimes I wonder.
I understand I can be quirky and a bit strange.  For people who don’t know me, that may translate to creepy.  I sincerely hope not, but I wonder.
It’s coincidental and ironic that right about a year ago, I wrote a facebook message to someone I barely knew and asked him if he wanted to be my friend.  And it worked out.  Friends we became.  We played games and ate dinner and watched movies together.  We had fun together.  [At least I thought we did.  We’re not quite friends anymore so decipher what you will.  It makes me sad.  I miss him.  But that’s another story for another day.  Or never.  I probably scared him with my creepiness.]
It’s coincidental and ironic because I did it again.  I wrote an email last night to someone I have only briefly met once and, essentially, asked him to be my friend.  I really, really hope I didn’t creep him out.  I just casually mentioned that I know what it’s like to be a new pastor in a small town [yep.] and if he ever wanted to play Scrabble or talk to someone who wasn’t a member of his congregation [it’s sometimes nice.] that he should let me know.  It was both me offering to be a friend to him and me really hoping he will be my friend.  I could really use a friend who wants to play a board game on a random night or talk about church stuff.  Or go see the last Harry Potter movie.  [I’m Harry Potter friend-less.]   It would be swell.
But good news – if I did creep him out, all he needs to do is not respond and I don’t think we’ll ever really see each other again.  No harm, no regrets, and I tried.  [Unless he approaches my grandma at church and tells her what a creepy granddaughter she has.  But I don’t think he’d do that.  Or unless he comes to my ordination as a local clergy person.  He might do that.]

that kind of day.

30 Jun
It’s a I-miss-the-Cities-a-lot kind of sad day.
It’s a I’m-having-lunch-with-a-friend-in-Madison kind of happy day.
It’s a I’m-super-stoked-to-check-out-this-speciality-baking-shop-I-heard-about kind of excited day.  [Vanilla Bean // I’ll let you know how it is.  It opens at 9:30 and I’m currently two blocks away at a Starbucks.  I’ll wait a reasonable amount of time after they open; don’t want to seem too eager to explore their edible confetti and sanding sugars. *cough* crazy lady *cough*]
It’s a humidity-go-away kind of complaining day.  [aka a-big-hair kind of day.]
It’s a learn-to-protect-yourself kind of drill day.  [What if they come at you with a garden trowel?  Steal your socks?  Climb in your window?  What will you do?  Not all gnomes are as kind as Dawson gnomes.]
It’s a I-have-nothing-on-my-calendar-until-July-10th kind of whining day.  [which leads to a I’m-going-crazy kind of day]
It’s a I-really-really-really-miss-my-seminary-friends kind of sad day.
It’s a I’ll-think-about-getting-my-oil-changed-but-won’t-actually-do-it kind of procrastination day.
What kind of day are you having?

coming home.

27 Jun
Yesterday, while chatting with seminary friends following jD’s ordination in Rochester, one asked me what it was like to be living at home again.  I kinda stumbled over my answer.  I mean, it’s good but it’s also not any surprise to any person that moving home after being away for so long would be tough.  There are certainly perks to being home – living in the country, seeing family, free rent, etc.  Definitely perks.  I love seeing cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents on a nearly daily basis or being able to call them up and see who is up for any kind of adventure.  I love my hammock and having time to read.  A full-sized kitchen in which to cook and bake.  Time to sew and a yard in which to frolic.  It’s been fun living with Mom and Em, though it seems we’re all too scattered to really be together too much.  I’m still waiting for a repeat Friday night of Modern Family and chinese take-out …
See – perks.  But then today I woke up extremely angry and frustrated about how things have changed.  This isn’t in regards to family or the home I’m living in but rather in regards to friends.  My high school friends and I have remained in touch and close since we graduated nine years ago.  Now that I’ve returned, five of us live in southern WI/northern IL, plus some boy friends who live close too.  I moved home and thought that this would be great.  I could hang out and reconnect with my long lost friends that I haven’t lived near in so many years.
It has kind of worked.  I see a small number of these friends and talk to them on a weekly basis.  [The three Ks – Krissy, Kim, and Kay.]  But then there are those friends that seem to have grown distant from me without knowledge or my permission!  Why do they exclusively hang out with other people, not reply to my facebook messages, and create events to which I’m not invited?
I understand it’s simply a fact of life.  There are friends for certain seasons, and in other seasons, those friendships change and grow distant.  I think what frustrates me the most is that I didn’t get the memo.  There was no breaking point in the friendship.  No betrayal or disagreement.  It just shifted.  I’m a connected person [Connectedness!  I just remembered – that’s another one of my StrengthsFinder themes!] and will hang onto a friendship, trying to stay in touch and connected to those people in all times and despite distances.  When that connection isn’t reciprocated, I guess I become frustrated and sad.    
I know that I have changed too.  Maybe some of these friends don’t want to hang out with a pastor [I seriously – and sadly – wonder if this isn’t part of it …], or maybe they just have found more meaningful relationships in my absence.  But still, isn’t it the truth that even after you’ve been gone for so long, you expect to return to a home that was the same as when you left?  I suppose that’s what we hope for, yet know it can never be the case.  I guess I have two more months to adjust to this kind of home and make the most of it, connecting with those people who want to connect with me and filling my days with the things that bring me joy. 
Up next?  Party planning with Kim for a dog-themed birthday party.  I’m thinking these and cupcakes with fondant bones on top … I have a whole pinterest board assigned to this party and can’t wait to begin!  [For those who are curious: The party is not for an actual dog; I would not be a party planning fool for a dog’s party.  That’s weird, people.  It is for Kim’s husband, which I realize, does not sound any better.  Apparently Mike didn’t want a party dedicated to him so the party is dedicated to their yellow lab, Bella, while really, it’s for Mike.  There will be a bouncy house.]

a bassonist and a flutist.

25 Jun
Dave and Veronica got married.  Again.  
And a good time was had by all.
It was fun to spend time with Joe and Amanda as they bunked at my house during the wedding festivities, and it was fun to see Allison and James and Deb and Scott [and baby Isabelle].  It was also so wonderful to officiate the ceremony.  Nervous though I was, it was a lot of fun to be a part of the ceremony for such a strong, grounded couple like Veronica and Dave.  
the Luther crew
Top it all off?  They served macaroni and cheese in the buffet line.  Mac and cheese.  How awesome is that?  There was also much Spotted Cow to go around and coffee with the cake.  Nearly all of yesterday afternoon – when we weren’t writing the screenplay for the new movie Willy Wonka and the Charcoal Factory, Joe and I tried to guess whether or not coffee would be served with the cake at the reception.  We certainly hoped so.  Being that we’re 85 years old, we needed coffee with our dessert.  As Joe would say, it is only right and salutary.

the haps.

23 Jun
[translation: happenings.]
I picked strawberries with my friend Kay and her son.  No clue what I’m going to do with the two baskets that now occupy the fridge.  Jam – the usual go to – seems unnecessary as I am still working my way through last year’s batches … 

I held this cutie cousin, Kennedy, for the littlest while the other afternoon.  Until she wanted to sit in the stroller and eat her cheerios.  

It’s wedding time for my college friend, Veronica!  I’ve been busy writing a wedding message and practicing my best presider’s stance as I have the honor of officiating.  [Veronica and Dave are technically already married.  This is an affirmation sort of ceremony with family and friends.]  While the thought of officiating makes me nervous and slightly terrified, it is also super exciting.  Not only is there a wonderful celebration for an awesome couple, it has become a mini-Luther reunion of sorts.  My college roomie and her husband are bunking with me in E-town currently [Amanda rolled in last night.], and friends Deb and Allison [along with spouses/child] will be in attendance.  I’m looking forward to catching up with them tomorrow night!

photos from home.

14 Jun
This pile of gravel?  I moved it.  [It doesn’t look that big from this angle but it really was.  Or I’m just really good at complaining.]

Were there foods you ate together as a kid or foods you eat together now that are a bit … strange?  One night, while at Joel and Melissa’s hanging out, I was reminded of how I used to love Cheetos in applesauce.  A moving home gift from J&M?  Cheetos and applesauce.  It’s still just as good as I remember.

Look at this cute kid!  This be Gavin, the son of my high school friend, Krissy.  Just climbing on the table.

It’s the Peppermint forest, a la Candy Land on this kitchen table.  It’s cakepop construction for the graduation party.  Edgerton’s colors are red and white and this straws I found at the Bibelot in St.Paul make perfect sticks.  Two hundred down today and four cakes left to do tomorrow.  

More red and white on my sewing table.  Garland central.  [And a few epic dance party glasses for smiles.]

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