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Marilyn.

15 Sep

I’m going to tell you about a woman I’ve known for just over a week.  She’s pretty awesome.
Marilyn is Red Oak Grove’s administrative assistant.  [Secretary to most but I just can’t get myself to say that, even if it is shorter.]  She’s in her 60s [I think – I’m a bad judge of age.] and has been at ROG for – I gather – about five to six years.  She’s not a member, but instead attends the large Lutheran church in Blooming [Prairie] – First Lutheran. 
Let me tell you how she’s awesome.  I’ve interrupted her work more than once – heck, more than twenty five times – to ask her questions and, more often than not, she knows the answer.  She has been such a blessing since I began working here.  She is so incredibly helpful. 
She’s been a great advocate for me since day one.  Though I often know what I want, I won’t voice it right off the bat, especially if that thing is only for my benefit and thus – to me – selfish.  [I do not like to be needy … though sometimes I am.]  I had off-handedly mentioned to her that I would enjoy a lighter paint color in my office.  Brent, the council president, stopped in and Marilyn told him.  “Don’t you think you could lighten it up a little bit in there?” she asked.  Then she told him the chairs could stand to be reupholstered.  That was not my idea but that Marilyn – she’s looking out for me.
She’ll dodge phone calls I don’t want to take.  Don’t judge me – they’re not parishioners but solicitors and the March of Dimes that wants to throw me in jail.  She hooks me up with office supplies and she, too, enjoys a good Sharpie. 
Now the other day, as we both lamented over the lack of internet, I exclaimed that I can’t live like this!  I need technology!  [I feel like we’re comfortable enough with each other now that I can make such exaggerations without her judgment.]  Since the outburst, she invited me over to her house two different times to use her internet.  First, she said she would feed me ice cream while I was there.  And then she said that she didn’t have any wine chilled but she could be an ice cube in it.
Oh for cute. 

A Sunday post on Wednesday.

14 Sep

First, from the rooftops and from the parsonage, I will yell, “I HAVE INTERNET!”  Thanks to the suggestion of Crystal at Verizon Wireless, I charged an extra $20 to my phone bill [*under breath* my brother’s phone bill] in order to turn my iphone into a wifi hotspot.  $20 will well be worth the saving of my sanity.  Now begins the seven million blog posts I’ve written in Word in the past week.  Check back often – I’m staggering their posting to keep you in suspense.  First, a post about my first Sunday at Red Oak Grove –
Sunday, during worship, was not the first time a child ran amock during a children’s sermon I led.  It wasn’t the first time an organist and I mis-communicated and played/talked at the same time.   It was not the first time I led worship alone. 
Sunday was, however, the first time I have ever been able to say, in the confession and forgiveness at the beginning of worship, “as a called and ordained minister of the church of Christ.”  It was the first time I wore a stole while leading worship.  [Green – thanks, Grace!]  It was the first time I led worship at Red Oak Grove Lutheran Church.
And it was good.  I learned a lot more names, shook a lot more hands, and made a lot more connections.  [Including a woman who belongs to and is very involved in Tanzania missions at Trinity in Stillwater – the congregation at which I worked for nearly three years.  Turns out she was baptized at ROG – it was fun to talk with her!]  During coffee hour each Sunday, birthdays and anniversaries of that week are recognized.  The pastor rings a bell to get everyone’s attention and happy birthday/happy anniversary songs are sung.  Every week, one member of the congregation, who is handicapped, raises her hand in response to “Anyone have birthdays this week?” with a “MEEEE!”   Every week.  [I feel like there is more of a story there with some giant dose of community and grace.  I’ll keep investigating and will report back at a later date.] 
I feel like some of the compliments and graciousness was due to the honeymoon we’re currently on.  It’s the honeymoon period of the church and I.  As a number two on the enneagram, I feel like they were sitting in the pews, judging me and what I was saying and how I was doing it.  [That’s probably not even the two in me.  That’s just honest truth.]  Even though they shook my hand enthusiastically, I can’t help but wonder what they really think.  You know, how they really feel about this new pastor of theirs who desperately needs a haircut.  [Seriously.]

I forgot to mention –

9 Sep
I’m still internet-less at home and at church so regular posting will still be on hold.  [And get this – we likely won’t have internet for another week!  Thank goodness for my iphone.  Without it, I’d be insane right about now.]  I post now from the Austin Public Library.  I think I’m in love – not with the red head who is a few tables behind me but with the library as a whole.  I think in my next life I want to be a librarian and be constantly surrounded by books.
I’m at a table that overlooks Mill Pond, a table with my very own surge protector and lamp.  There is free wi-fi and watch me sign up for a library card so I can check out dvds.  [I have never taken much advantage of public libraries and only recently have I realized what a shame that is.  Libraries have tons of dvds to rent and – wait for it – they’re free.  I scoped out the section at this library before I sat down and see they have lots of tv shows on dvd.  Which one should I begin?]
I have a sermon to finish.  My mom and sister arrive tomorrow around lunch time and hopes are that I won’t need to work on it while they are here.  [We have shopping to do and picture frames to hang!]  I think this library may easily become a favorite spot of mine.

so far.

9 Sep
Since we last met, things have been crazy and calm, both awesome and overwhelming.  I spent Wednesday and Thursday mainly in the office, getting a handle on a few more things, meeting the people who stopped by, and going to a WELCA meeting.  I met jD for lunch at The Roost Cafe in Blooming Prairie [owned by Beth, a self-labeled liberal Catholic, who is all around pretty awesome] and received a tour of the care center in Blooming, where a handful of ROG [Red Oak Grove] members live.  I started to work on the sermon for Sunday, and waded my way through worship planning using the green book.  [The green book is secret Lutheran code for the green hymnal that sits in church pews.  There is also an updated cranberry book – the latest Lutheran hymnal.  We do not have this in our pews.]  I visited a few members, gave the custodian more work to do [I kinda broke my office window.], and dined with the Dorcas circle at church last night.  I’ve kept busy.
Things are good.  People seem excited that I’m here and their pastor.  I received only one comment so far about my age.  [I was meeting ladies at the WELCA meeting, shaking their hands and introducing myself as they went through the line for lunch.  One woman shook my hand, not entirely sure who in the world I was or what I was doing until I said, “I’m Pastor Lindsay.”  “Oh, I wasn’t expecting someone so young!”]  I met two ladies at the independent/assisted living section of the care center yesterday, one of whom knew about me and of my friendship with jD.  You see, she’s the oldest living life-long member of ROG [not to be confused with the oldest member of ROG who is not a life-long member and married into the congregation] and she’s bff’s with the oldest member of one of jD’s church.  They talk on the phone every night, apparently about their pastors and who knows what else.  Oh for cute.  I love stories like that and women who talk on the phone with their best friends every night.
Between those visits and the opportunity to dine with and participate in Bible study with the Dorcas circle last night, I’m reminded why I do this.  It’s in times like those that the questions of what the heck am I doing?! and is this really right for me? disappear.  Here’s hoping Sunday morning is another one of those times.  You know me and worship leadership – nervous nelly.  We’ll see how this goes!

to work.

6 Sep
Today I went to the office.  [I walked across the parking lot.]
I was the tiniest bit terrified about it.  Nay – I was absolutely terrified.  and nervous.  and unsure.  
I caught up with the administrative assistant – Marilyn – and then set to work on my office.  The way it was set up made it look like the place where furniture went to die – a mix of different pieces in an odd combination.  I wasn’t quite sure how to make it functional and spatially attractive to me so I simply started pushing desks in different places, and by golly gee, I’m really happy with how it turned out.  I hope to get some lighter paint on the walls and have the blinds on the big window repaired so I can have as much natural light as possible.  Books, gnomes, and office supplies were moved in and I love the result.  Here I can write a sermon or meet with a couple for pre-marital.  I can assemble various projects at a work table [hidden behind the door] and use either my macbook [preferred] or the desktop [when needed]. 

After rearranging and unpacking, I tried to get a handle on a few things.  The result of this effort was a l.o.n.g. list of questions, a couple researched files, and a to-do list for the future.  I met with Brent, the council president for a brief period of time, talking about budget, the upcoming annual meeting, and the logistics of a cell phone for me.  I’ve only worked here for a day but I appreciate this man.  A lot.  He appears to be so involved, so genuine, and so strong a leader, which is exactly what a church needs in a transition like this.  
On the other side of things, I spoke to a certain colleague on the phone at three? four? different times today.  The main question I asked [and this colleague echoed] was this:
What in the world am I doing?
Not only what am I doing but why am I doing it?  I am perfectly certain that I’m called to be a pastor but really?  Really?  Is it normal to ask myself what in the world I’m doing every day?  every hour?  I know I love it; I really do.  I think beginnings are hard, especially when I have no clue where to begin.  I think that once I feel comfortable, feel like I have a handle on what’s going on, and feel like I not only know people but that people know me, I might ask this question less frequently.  But for now, each day, as I walk across that parking lot, I think I’ll question what in the world I’m doing and if it’s right.  
Basically, what I’m left with at the end of my first day is a lot of questions.  Lots of questions.  There is lingering fear and definite nerves about being THE pastor at this church.  The former pastor here ended his last newsletter article with something like, “May God bless you as you follow Pastor Lindsay and her leadership.”  My leadership?  I have leadership?  I’m the leader?  Lots of questions.  Lots of confidence needs to be relocated within myself.  Lots will happen and ultimately, despite the questions of what in the world I’m doing, I think this is the place for me.  
my office door with a greeting from pastor paige!
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