working girl frustrations.

15 Feb
Work has been frustrating this week.
There.  I said it.
Nothing is really wrong.  It’s not really different than any other week.
It’s just that there is so much to do and it’s not getting done.
It’s not that I’m not working.  I am.  It’s that I want to be able to do things faster and swifter and to be able to cross them off my to-do list at a faster rate because the list keeps growing.  [And not that this is exclusive to ministry.  I’m beginning to think it’s inclusive of all adulthood.]
I feel like tasks take me too long.  I feel like I need longer to process things, especially experiences the first time around.  While I want to work and accomplish what I set out to do, more often than not I feel like my hours in the office look like this.  [Click the link for one of the best Big Bang Theory scenes ever.]
[Why, yes.  I do put my hand on my chin and play Eye of the Tiger at an higher-than-necessary volume.  At least now I will.]
Le sigh.  I know it’s just how it is.  But I know I always get to Thursday afternoon and come to the realization that I could literally work all weekend long and still not accomplish all I should.  I always get to Thursday with an unwritten sermon.  I always get to Thursday and have more things I want to create, incorporate and say for the life of the congregation.  [This week?  A giant alleluia sign or something to “bury” during the children’s sermon on Sunday.]
Oh well.  I certainly love what I do [most days] and feel blessed to be in this time and place.  [Especially when I have confirmation students who tonight begged to stay later than usual.  I consented and sacrificed the first half of Modern Family for such.]  I am expecting a new book in the mail this weekend [The Practical Guide to Patchwork] so I hope to find time to lose myself in the craft room a bit this weekend and know that I will find renewal in that.  We’ll just need to sneak in a sermon too … but really?  That surprises no one.
No one.

*insert curse word of your choosing*

13 Feb
Situation number one:  It’s Saturday.  I’ve done my errands for the day and I’m at home, settling in and doing anything but finishing my sermon for the next day.  There’s a knock on the door and I find my neighbor and her daughter at the door.  [Neutron’s owners.  I love them and think there might be friend potential.  The neighbor at my door, her husband and I totally geeked out after church yesterday about all things Apple and lamenting for faster internet.  We understand each other.]  Rachel, the daughter, is selling Girl Scout cookies.  [Let it begin.]  I invite them into my slightly messy kitchen and they spread the cookie order form out on the counter … right in front of my pint glass that reads “Consumption of alcohol may lead to epic dance parties.”  
*insert curse word of your choosing*  
While the statement may be true, it’s not what parishioners need to see on my counter – let alone a third grader.  [I will make the distinction that the glass was not filled with alcohol.  But still not cool.]
Situation number two:  Now it’s Sunday after church.  Same family.  I see the mom and make some joke apologizing for my appearance on Saturdays.  I always wonder just a little bit when people see me not as “pastor” but instead in sweats with no makeup and crazier than normal hair; I wonder what they think.  I said something about being much more put together on Sundays with makeup and whatnot.  The mom looks at the daughter and say, “Not that women need to wear makeup.  We’re beautiful without makeup.”
*insert curse word of your choosing* while I stick my foot in my mouth.
I totally agree with the mom and it made me realize I should be a bit more careful around young, impressionable girls about makeup/clothes talk.  Reminds me of this article.
Situation number three: My southern Minnesotan family [Paige, Lauren, and jD] and I went to a church gathering in Owatonna last night.  It’s a church that uses space in a Baptist church and a gathering that tries to stay away from what you would even consider church.  As pastors, it’s nice to have a place to worship – actually worship – and not be responsible for leading.  Maybe this could be that place for us?  We walked in [late] to join a group of eight adults sitting around an old oriental rug [it really tied the room together] and coffee table.  A couple is singing songs, a la Indigo Girls.  He looks Amish and she looks bohemian like I’ve always wanted to be.  The gathering continues into an hour discussion on … wisdom?  There were charts.  Diagrams.  Flippant references to Scripture.  And we were missing the beginning of the Grammys.
… get. us. out. of. here.  *insert curse word of your choosing*
Despite the … unconventional? not engaging? … hour of talk about decision making, I kinda sorta want to go back because the people were so incredibly gracious and welcoming.  We were offered tea from the start, and a few people moved so we could sit together.  [Will people move pews in a Lutheran church to accommodate?  Honestly debatable.]  After the gathering was over, they practically swarmed around us, asking us questions and engaging us, telling us again and again that they hoped we’d come back.  Will we go back?  I don’t know.  I wouldn’t mind giving it another go; it could be a fun community to become involved in.  But only if the charts and diagrams end.

#parsonageprojectsaturday

11 Feb
Beginning as a thought on Thursday, I declared today parsonage project saturday.  *throws glitter*
I had a list of projects I hoped to accomplish and now that it is evening, I feel pretty accomplished.  [A little … not a lot.  Please excuse the Friends reference.]  A Valentines-esque wreath hangs on my front door, a fabric basket now organizes Mabel things in the closet, and my bedroom is a little closer to awesome.  [I found the yellow quilt and sham on clearance at Target this morning for $10!  The gray and yellow theme continues to be a work in progress.]
If we delve a bit deeper in to the details, the berries on the wreath are a little too Christmas but I think it works.  [And the decor is put on in a way which can be removed and adapted for the next holiday of choice.]  I’m fairly certain I bought the wrong kind of interfacing for the fabric basket and that caused me to break two needles in its construction.  And the photo of my bed?  It’s now completely strewn with clothes and that’s normally how it stays.  But I also did three loads of laundry, sneezed approximately seventeen times, and bought Girl Scout cookies from the neighbors who stopped by.  I bought napkins on clearance with which to make living room throw pillows, made a chicken/sweet potato dinner, and baked a cookie cheesecake to take to a Grammy’s party [what what] tomorrow night.  Boom.  You’ve been had, Saturday.
*hangs head*  … and now I finish my sermon.

the man’s club.

8 Feb
Twice a month, I lead short worship services at the care center in Blooming Prairie.  I’ll be honest – I kinda sorta dread them.  I drag my feet and complain about going.  But I’ll also admit that most times, afterwards, I leave feeling pretty great about having been there.
I think the dread lies in the extra preparation and the they-normally-fall-asleep-on-me sermon uncertainty. I never know how to preach.  They’re a hard crowd to read.  But I always try … and that’s what counts, right?  Today, I had a woman pay me the highest compliment at the care center.  “I enjoyed your sermon.  I didn’t even fall asleep!”
After chapel is coffee and bar time.  I sat with a member named Lyle today … which meant sitting at the man table.  I enjoyed a date bar and coffee with Lyle, Art, Bud, and Charlie.  Seriously grand.  I wish I had a picture of them in their four wheelchairs around the table.  They talked about picking scabs [so not joking], the BP gossip, and the fact that I’m not married.  At one point, Lyle leaned over and said, “I bet you’re uncomfortable being at the man table.”  
Uncomfortable?  No.  Entertained?  Certainly.

what I love about february thus far:

8 Feb
. old fashioned oats.
. the bachelor on monday nights. it consumes me.
. confirmation wednesday. nothing new there.  pizza party tonight!
. a 10 o clock bedtime with tea and mr. kindle. I’m currently visiting nazi germany with the book thief.
. the postmaster in blooming. she didn’t hate me when I brought packages that spewed glitter from the wrapping. in fact, she complimented it.
. sweet potatoes. sliced and oven roasted with garlic.
. sending old school valentines.
. an iphone software update. fun for all.
. a few new shirts from the super clearance racks.
. the craft room and new projects.

what’s on your list?

business time.

7 Feb
I came home tonight and went promptly to my craft room.  To my sewing machine.  To my place of creativity and sanity.  [except when the seam ripper and I spend too much time together.]
I found this on a blog via pinterest a few days ago.  I’m an adult now; I have real business cards.  [as opposed to fake ones.  I’ve had those too.]  I needed something to carry them about.  I have some in my wallet; some in my desk drawer.  But I don’t always have my wallet and I’m not always in my office.  A business card holder I can sew?
Bingo.
Like any project of mine, it’s a bit wonky.  And not quite right.  And made with random scraps of fabric I had on hand.  And I’m a little unsure of the HUGE fabric covered button on the front.  But it’s what we got and I’ll use it and love it and hand out my business cards every chance I get.  It’s practical if nothing else.
hey.  like my keyboard?  thank you boredom, pinterest, and my happy tape supply.
hey again.  title reference?  here. 

amen.

6 Feb

#cousins

5 Feb
Top photo: Sent to me by my brother, Ben. Mabel had sent a Christmas package to Jetta, Ben’s five-year old yellow lab. I guess Jetta is a little more destructive than Mabel when it comes to stuffed wooly babies with squeakers.
Bottom photo: Mabel destroying the same toy as Jetta’s with a smile on her big face. [The comparison in photos proves how big Mabel’s head is. But Jetta is pretty petite too.]

why do I …

4 Feb
… always cry at animal movies?
I saw Big Miracle this weekend and cried at three different points in the movie. A couple times it was tears-in-the-corner-of-the-eyes kind of crying. Once it was full-fledged I’m-not-even-going-to-bother-wiping-these-away-because-I’ll-just-keep-crying-and-the-theater-is-dark-so-no-one-can-see-right? kind of sobbing.
I sat next to friend Jenna. Before the movie even started, I leaned over. I warned her. “I cry at animal movies.” Hi, my name is Lindsay. And I cry at animal movies. I’ll own it.
It doesn’t even need to be sad. I cried at We Bought a Zoo when all the people showed up on opening day and when everyone pitched in to make it happen. Why? No idea. Was it overly emotional? Nope. Am I a huge animal person? Nope. Was it sad? No. But something about animals on film makes me cry.
Maybe I’m like Kristen Bell – taking an emotional scale of 1 – 10, if it’s an animal movie and I’m below three or over seven, I’m crying. It doesn’t matter if it’s super sad or super happy – I cry. The zoo opens successfully? Tears. The whales are freed to swim about? Tears. An animal dies? Tears. A small child is emotional on screen? Tears.
When did I become such a sucker?
Actually, this isn’t new. I sometimes avoid animal movies because I know I’ll cry. I never could watch the Homeward Bound movies and don’t get me started with Where the Red Fern Grows. No, I never saw Marley and Me because I don’t want to be a basket case. I can be watching a movie about people and never cry. But a dog, a whale, or [wait for it] a sloth?
Hand me tissues because I’ll lose my cool real fast. Real fast.

the glory of convocation.

4 Feb
I’ve been in the Cities for just over 24 hours and I’m so glad to be here.  I feel refreshed and renewed after just getting away for this little bit of time.  *huge sigh of gloriousness*  [See this blog post for further insight.  Further fuzzy insight – I did write it at midnight last night.]
Convocation is an annual conference held at Luther Seminary.  As a 2011 graduate, I got to attend for free!  It was so incredibly wonderful to be back on campus; I do love Luther Sem.  It was great to be in the same place as so many pastors who understand the challenges and joys of daily life in ministry.  
The biggest highlight and comfort?  Seeing friends.  Paige and jD were there but you know – I see them all the time. It was fun to connect again with so many more people, including many of my favorite seminary guys.  [Say what?!]  Conversations with [not-Dawson-but-another] Kendall, Cole and Matt; lunch out with James; the following text conversation with dear friend Justin was lives in PA and was not in attendance.  It was super fun just to be in the Cities and go out again like we did every Thursday night of spring semester [even if this time it was super tame and led only to the mischief of the text conversation seen below].  
Coming to stay for convo allowed me to catch up and crash with my Stillwater family [as I call them].  I was even given keys for my weekend use and was scolded whenever I knocked or asked before I got a glass of water [because I was just supposed to walk in and help myself to whatever].    Tonight I was very excited to participate in Friday night festivities with Mark, Karen, and Jenna.  We went out for Asian cuisine [mmm pad thai] and then to the movies.  [A post about how I always cry at animal movies is forthcoming.]  A perfect Friday night in the Cities.
I would completely be lying if I said I was ready to return to my south-eastern MN home tomorrow.  I’m not.  I could go for at least another couple days of colleague time and Cities fun.  The fact that I kinda sorta broke down at my Stillwater b&b tonight is proof.  Church is hard.  Living alone is hard.  A break from it was wonderful but that sermon from Sunday still needs to be written and Mabel needs to be picked up from the kennel.  [The fact that they are grooming her before I pick her up in the morning brings me insurmountable joy.]  Here we go.  Back to it.  Lord, have mercy.
[Knowing that I return to the Luther Sem and the Cities in a few short weeks for another conference – this one on confirmation – makes leaving the tiniest bit more doable.  St.Paul – I’ll be back.]
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