Allow me to admit –

Are you ready? I’m going to admit my failure to you. The month isn’t even over and I have completely and utterly failed all of my January resolutions. But, let’s remember, through the failure there is learning.  What did Batman Bruce’s dad always tell him?  It’s now how you fall off the horse but it’s how you get back on.  Or something like that. 

No buy January? Failed. However, I did go through the whole month buying no new clothes/accessories/otherwise unnecessary things. [Small, tiny success.] I learned that as I live in a house now – and not in an apartment – there are things that I must purchase. For example: Mabel grabbed my small frying pan off the stove, licked the turkey burger remains, and in the process scratched off the coating. I needed a new frying pan, so, well, I bought a new frying pan.  Then there was that whole Mabel-baby-massacre last weekend; Mabel needed new toys.  $50 in fun money? Well, January was at an all-time high for lunches out with various friends. Total? Unknown. [Look at me with no regret for not sticking closer to my goal.]  The month did allow me to reevaluate expenses and develop some sort of budget plan [which was lacking].  So yay to that?

$75 in groceries? Failed. However, I now have a better idea of what I spend in actuality. I learned that my favorite Greek yogurt at $1.26/yogurt breaks the bank. So do the “no-sugar-added” canned pears I love to eat for something sweet after lunch. My morning star veggie burgers pop in at over $1/burger and an avocado can be well over $1 if not on sale. I need to learn to be a couponer but first I need a Sunday paper or a good website … or something.  Or learn to like to eat cheaper things.

No sugar? Failed. However, sugar intake was decreased. I did really, really well the first two/three weeks … and then I started to falter. It started off innocent; I was offered a brownie during a church meeting. Then this weekend I entered severe project mode and wanted to conquer homemade marshmallows and a perfect macaron.  I can’t have sweets in the house or I eat them … so big mistake there.

Perfect macaron?  Done.  This is the first time in at least five attempts that my french sandwich cookie has truly come out the way it is meant to come out.  Each of the cookies is meant to have a hard shell and “feet” – the air bubble looking bit around the bottom.  Check and check.  My salted caramel filling could be a little thicker but I’m going to take it and call this a macaron success.  Serious inflation of pride and confidence this day.  It’s been months of struggle.  I thank a kitchen scale to weigh my ingredients, my Silpat, and a solid ten and a half minutes in the oven.