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three "for" stories.

7 Oct
1. for cute.
I had written a letter to my four year old friend C. from Dawson a couple weeks ago.  Today I received a response letter from him!  Well, technically, it was his mom writing but it was told from his point-of-view and had his printed signature at the bottom.  It talked about how much he loves preschool and how his Sunday School classroom was filled with friends in the last couple weeks.  In the letter, C. wondered if we could be pen pals.  Heck yes!  I love pen pals.  I had a pen pal all through upper elementary and middle school – Leann Hawkins from New Jersey.  Time for a new one!


2. for sweet.
I’m using my Wednesday nights to lead a ninth grade confirmation group in Stillwater at Trinity, the church I worked at prior to internship.  There was a group that needed a leader for only this year and I was looking to get plugged into a church.  It works perfectly.  Even more perfect is the group of girls I was assigned.  I have the sweetest, most-engaged, awesome ninth graders.  Sure, sometimes they get off track, talking about their Bob (the code name for the guys they like), but we’re making plans to hold small group at Caribou and tie pillows to jazz up the institutional-like closet where we meet.  I look forward to my Wednesday nights.


3. for funny.
To think the following story is funny, you have to know a few things.  First, this is a conversation I had with M., the nearly five year old with whom I craft and love tape.  This conversation happened in the midst of her continuing to work, to tear tape, to craft.  Second, she’s a kid.  Third, it was all said in a very matter-of-fact way.  Fourth, I don’t consider myself a cat person.  (So maybe I’m cruel to think this is funny?)  Fifth, I never did have a chance to clarify the story with the parent when he arrived home but I really doubt the last part is true.

Me: Where’s Gilbert? (the second cat)
M: He’s dead.
Me: What?!
M: Yeah. He was throwing up all the time and he’s dead.
Me: Did you take him to the doctor? (I’m trying to figure out if they had him put to sleep or …)
M: No.
Me: Did he die here?
M: He’s in the basement.
Me: But dead?
M: Yeah. He’s in a bag. Do you want to go see him?
Me: No. That’s okay.

Last Sunday.

3 Sep
My last Sunday at Grace really was all things wonderful.  I preached my last sermon, was given many kind words, and honored in the best ways possible during coffee hour.  The do-day ladies, with whom I tied quilts every month, made me a quilt.  The congregation as a whole gave me generous gifts, many hugs, and much love as I was sent on my way.
Being honored during the worship service.  Coworkers Keith, Tammy, Emily and Karen in the background.  (Along with the top of Chris’ head.  And Kendall is probably the receiver of my surprised/are-you-kidding-me face.)

Coffee hour was in my honor and included my own gnome story, a song – sung to Home on the Range, and an ode to my time as an intern.  It was a roast in the kindest way possible.  In many ways, it made it even more difficult to leave because it was so wonderful and honoring.  It did however include the revealing of my high school weekend winter occupation … the stripping came up.  (And then I owed the fellowship hall an explanation of what kind of [tobacco] stripping my parents made me do as a child.)
After the congregation members had made their leave, I took the much-talked-about tour of the sanctuary attic.  Keith, the custodian, had been promising me such a field trip for months to visit the bats, but it hadn’t happened.  So, in my pointy Nine West heels, I climbed the ladder to the attic to say that I’d been there, done that, check.  (Pictures still to come.  I know you want to see the sanctuary attic just as much as I did!)  Then the staff and I stood in the main office, none of us quite willing to say the first goodbye.  
Keith was the first to make his leave, giving me a hug, and saying, 
“Goodbye, Sunshine.  
It’s been fun.” 
Slowly but surely, sadly and with tears, the rest of the hugs were given and goodbyes were said.  The staff have become close friends – family in many senses of the word.  
Sad day.

Almost a week later and at home in Edgerton, I still feel displaced (as my wise friend, Justin, calls it).  I’m still sad.  I cried pretty much all of Sunday afternoon, Monday and Tuesday.  I even treated myself to a bit of pity-shopping … which led to the addition of two new cardigans to my wardrobe.  (Opps?)  The added stress of needing to complete and send in my 20 page approval paper helped matters none.  But it will get better.  Time at home is good.  Feelings of displacement will wane.  Back to St.Paul on Monday.  Class on Tuesday.

But for now – I grieve.  I grieve the end of internship and the physical distance friendships and relationships.

Sad day.

final sermon.

31 Aug
For those of you were weren’t able to worship at Grace on Sunday –
(Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16)

As I arrive at this morning – my last morning with you here at Grace – and to this sermon, I reflect on my year of partnering in ministry with you. It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since you welcomed me into this congregation. I felt the Hebrews text for today speaking in wonderful ways to my year with you and to the congregation here. I first read the text and felt myself beginning to tear up – tears of joy that my year is finally done and over! (shaking head) No. That is definitely not the case. So not true. I am saddened at the thought of leaving. This has been a wonderful year in ministry with all of you – you are welcoming people in a wonderful community. But still, in a way, they are tears of joy too. In talking with someone about being sad because I’m leaving, he reminded me that it is a happy day too. Not because you’re happy to be getting rid of me – I hope – but happy because it has been a good year. If it hadn’t been a good year, I wouldn’t be sad and I wouldn’t be teary-eyed. There is celebration here today too – a celebration of this community and the ministry you do.

This section of Hebrews teaches us how to live as a community of faith in an indifferent world. We are worshipping on Sunday morning and that puts us in the minority. Each of us could easily count ten people that we know that aren’t in church this morning – either with us or across the country. I don’t need names – not looking to throw blame here – but just think about it. As we sit here, we’re not the majority. More and more, we find the secular world overwhelming, systems that put us as Christians on the outside, part of the few. This section in Hebrews is why we are different from the broader culture, this is the life we practice. Just the other day, someone told me, ‘You know, it’s not always easy to be a Christian.’ No! It’s not. It is not always easy to live out these things that the author of Hebrews directs us towards.

This selection from Hebrews almost reads like those books you will find on the shelf at the library in the self-help section. The books that promise they can help you live your best life now. Books with the top ten ways to reach personal success. Seven steps for living at your fullest potential. It gives instructions, ways to live. But the difference here in Hebrews is that living life to the fullest has little to do with yourself. Living your best life is tied to the best lives of others. There is no self-talk here – no direction to develop a healthy self image. It doesn’t tell us to focus inwardly on our own lives, or to give direction to a selfish vision involving only yourself. To live as a community in Christ, a community of faith, is to be a family with open hands, hospitality, and care for all people. Living our best lives, our lives to the fullest, is connected to the quality of the lives of those around us.

Much of what the writer of Hebrews commends us to do is what I have witnessed within this community in the past year. I read this passage and can think of examples, of places where I have seen this faith lived out – places where your concern, your focus is outward, reaching to others than yourself was practiced and shared.

Remember those who are in prison, as though you are in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured. We could add these statements – remember those who work eight hours a day for $2 as though they are your neighbor and you’re working alongside them. Or remember those who are in the midst of a natural disaster – a nightmare – as though you are there beside them. In my time with you, I’ve seen this congregation go to work and put your faith into action to meet our neighbors. You’ll remember that we collected items for health kits, shortly after the earthquake in Haiti. The donations kept coming and – in the whole process of it – we put together well over 400 kits with supplies to spare. 400 kits! Those toothbrushes, washcloths and other supplies that we had an abundance of, that were left over, were recently sent to Kenya to be shared with our neighbors there. A cousin of mine was embarking on a month-long trip to an International Village in Kenya and, together with his travel mates, they packed their suitcases with those extra supplies we had. We had hundreds of toothbrushes, plus many washcloths, bars of soap, and combs to give.


He sent these pictures to share with you – pictures of the women, the students at the secondary school, and the children in the orphanage who received these goods were happy and appreciative. Connor, my cousin, wrote in the description of the pictures that he had never before seen someone so excited about a bar of soap. You gave them a bar of soap. These women that you see work for eight hours a day, often with their children on their backs, and earn $2 for their labor. The children in the orphanage were excited to have their own toothbrushes – they have nothing more than the clothes on their back so to have their own toothbrush is awesome. You gave them a toothbrush. More than a toothbrush – more than a bar of soap. You gave them love, gave them hope, and, through action, showed them that they have worth, even when the rest of the world easily casts them aside. We remember those who struggle, who are in need, and who call upon their neighbors to help them in their despair.

We live abundantly and focus on what Hebrews tells us in regards to this – keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have. We had an abundance of health kit supplies to share. We all have an abundance of things – including money – when we think about our neighbors in the world. So often we connect our best life, the improvement of our life, to money. That’s what many of the self-help books claim – that these skills will lead you to be more successful. What does success often boil down to in our culture? You’ll earn more money. Our culture tells us that when we have more, things will be better.

Hebrews calls us to live our life free from the love of money. Money isn’t what should be loved or worshipped. Instead, let mutual love of each other continue. Give love to your fellow believers in the community. Love to strangers through hospitality. Welcoming people, being a congregation that welcomes the stranger is a vital way to demonstrate love. Sometimes it’s hard to envision what that looks like at Grace in Dawson. We’re not in a metropolitan area where new people are consistently in and out. I’ve learned that there aren’t many strangers in Dawson. People know pretty much everyone and, well, people are related to pretty much everyone. Just the other day, someone made a connection for me – did you know that so-and-so is so-and-so’s grandma? No. I had no clue! In a year here, I still haven’t figured out the many ways in which people are connected and families are intertwined. Though the immediate people around us may not be strangers in that sense of the word, we can use our connections to evangelize, to preach the Christian gospel, to live our lives with the same mind that was in Christ. Perhaps there are strangers to the gospel, strangers to the love of community that need an open hand, an inviting word. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, or people you know well, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews instructs us in the midst of this community of believers but not just here – outside the church doors we’re called to live in this way. I leave for another year of school in St.Paul, saddened to say goodbye but looking back with such gratitude. That’s my story this morning. When I walk out the doors, that’s where I’m heading. As that is mine, all of you have your own stories. I don’t know where you’re going after worship this morning or what is heavy on your mind. Changes in health. Transitions to a new school year. Worry about a family member. We come from different places with our own stories and we’ll leave this place of worship to continue on our own way. As we go, we remember that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Jesus is forever faithful to us – that never changes. Our stories change. We change jobs, family situations, locations but God’s faithfulness does not change. I make this comparison lightly – not wanting to compare God to Santa Clause on too serious a level – but think of how children ask, after they have moved houses, “will Santa know that I’ve moved? Will Santa find me in our new house?” After that change, our response is always – of course. In a similar way, we change. We sin. We make mistakes and stray from the life we’re called to lead. Will God still be faithful to me after I’ve done that? Does God still love me? Our response – yes. Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever. He continues to be faithful here and faithful in all of our lives as we leave this place and go out into the world. Jesus’ never-changing faithfulness sets us free – through him, let us continually offer a sacrifice of praise to God. Because of God’s faithfulness, we’re given grace and we’re transformed. We’re empowered to be a community that loves and gives and thinks of our neighbors before ourselves.

Our reading this morning concludes with this verse – Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. Last week, we read about the Sabbath and the meaning of worship. That on the Sabbath day we rest but we’re also freed. We are freed in worship. What the author of Hebrews gives us here is worship too – do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. That is worship. That is living your life as worship. When we care for others, when we feel ourselves freed to help our neighbors, when we preach the gospel to others – that life of worship is pleasing to God.

I leave you with the challenge to continue your lives as Hebrews calls us to live. To continue to mutually love. To show hospitality. To remember those who are in pain. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have. There are so many gifts in this congregation to share – share them! We are called to be good stewards of what God has given us – to share what God has given us. Continue to find ways in which to help your neighbor, to be a light to others, and to live your life as worship towards God. I have been blessed to be a part of your community for a short year. You have shown me love, hospitality, and welcomed me in so many ways. Together as a community, I felt us reach out to remember those in pain, to worship the unchanging God, to continually offer praise to God. My life in the past year has been linked to yours – we’ve grown together, cried together, and prayed together. I pray that as we all leave this space and go out to different places this morning, whether out for brunch, to work, or to St. Paul with a packed car, we remember that our best life is linked to the best lives of others. That we’re all connected. That Christ’s faithfulness does not change. And we’re called to love one another always and have our neighbor be forefront in our Christian lives of worship. Always let your mutual love continue. Amen.

formative.

28 Aug
I guess this is it?
The day I’ve been dreading for months has almost arrived. I’ll use the naughty word again – this sucks. (And I’ll throw in a ‘horse apples!’ for effect.)
The more I think about it, the more I understand why this is so hard. I came to Dawson twelve months ago, completely alone. I knew no one. I had no connection. Those first months were extremely hard for me. Adjusting. Figuring out how things worked. Feeling lonely. I would go to work and come home to my apartment by myself.
After Christmas, something clicked. I had adjusted. I had found my niche at work. I began to know people. This became home. Staff meetings were like family dinners. I began to let people into my life. (It takes me awhile.) I had found my rhythm and routine. I had figured out who I was in this new place and I was happy.
This year has been so formative for me. Formative to my call to ministry, formative to my independence, and formative to learning more about who I am and who I remain though factors around me continue to change. I struggle to think that the year has made me a bit more of an introvert; the thought of not having so much “Lindsay time” back in St.Paul scares me in the tiniest degree. But I also think of the strong feet I have found beneath me. That I can stand in the midst of uncertainty, when I’m not prepared, and when the unexpected comes.
Even though I pack up my car tomorrow and leave this place behind me (until I visit, of course), Dawson will always be a part of who I am and who I have become.
(… that was a little too sentimental. A bit over the top. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. But it’s still true.)

a little perspective.

21 Aug
Life has a way of keeping you in line, showing you a little perspective in the midst of your own trials and struggles that seem like mountains too tall and rivers too wide.
In honesty – today has sucked. I’m not a fan of writing that word (in my blog or elsewhere) but if you were to talk to me, that would be the word I use. Sucked.
My mom and sister arrived in Dawson last night. That part is all good – visitors are grand. However, one of the main purposes of their visit was to help me pack, load, and move my things back to seminary in St.Paul. Dislike. (See a number of previous posts to understand my distain of moving and leaving Dawson.)
It’s been a crabby, crying kind of day. I don’t like moving to begin with; add in the dislike of leaving Dawson to return to classes and homework, and you’ve got a pretty cranky Lindsay. Someone who is not very much fun to be around. Just ask the mom and little sister.
Needing to put the finishing touches on my sermon for the morning, I head into the office for a little while to focus. I end up sobbing in the sanctuary for fifteen minutes because of all my woes before receiving a phone call from the funeral home. There’s a family there. Their father has just died. They would like to have a short service of prayer.
I slap myself. And I’m crying about moving? Seriously, Lindsay.
[Side note: So I tell the funeral director that I need to make myself presentable and I’ll be over. I’ve been moving all day and I didn’t particularly want to walk in with my jeans and tie-dyed tshirt. I run home, change, and as I am introduced to some of the family, one of the brothers of the deceased says to me, “Well, you clean up pretty nice!” Um, so you heard I was a mess earlier?]
As much as I hope the short service of prayer and scripture was part of what they needed to hear and be a part of as a grieving family, it spoke to me too. I continued to work on my sermon after the short gathering and came across these words regarding worship –
“Bath, table, prayer and word are important to every seeking soul because God is there, wiping away tears, giving life.”
God was there in the midst of the prayer service. God is here, wiping away tears – the grieving family’s tears, my tears – and giving us life. Amen.

worship.

15 Aug
I participate in worship. I lead worship. I plan worship. I preach in worship.
Tonight I was able to just be in worship. I planned zero of the service. I sat in the back row. We worshipped outside in this gorgeous day, the break in the heat. I didn’t need to concentrate on the bulletin and remind myself to say this one part a certain way or be concerned about forgetting this part or that.
It was a worship service at the park to begin a bike fundraiser for our conference of churches to raise money for our sister synod in South Africa. A thoughtful message. Wonderful surroundings. Contemporary music. Focus songs that reminded me of worship at Luther College. I sang my heart out and loved it.

creation camp (2).

12 Aug

My current facebook status?
Lindsay S. labels day camp a grand success!
My last two days with the fifteen kiddos (and adult friends) were as pleasant and fun as the first! Mrs. Amanda, college roommate and BFF, came and helped out for a day, and Tammy had perfect attendance and gets a gold star for always cleaning up my messes. Creation campers created human sundials in the parking lot using the sidewalk chalk we had made ourselves, had water relays in the courtyard, and played lots of games. (‘My grandma’s big fat toe’ was easily the favorite. I’m hopeless at it as the skill involved is answering every question asked with “my grandma’s big fat toe” and not cracking up while saying it. What did you eat for breakfast? My grandma’s big fat toe. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? My grandma’s big fat toe. I can’t even make it through the questions before I start to smirk.) We painted birdhouses, assembled the remainder of the health kits, and took crazy pictures. I made them eat pudding cups without their hands or spoons, we shared our week of camp with the ladies at the assisted living facility, and ended our days together with one big group hug.
I received so much love from these campers in the last four days. They escaped secretly during snack to all go to the second floor craft area where they made me a poster that said, “We’ll miss you, Lindsey!” I don’t even care that they spelled my name wrong! I got countless hugs, lots of “I’ll miss you,” and gracious thank yous. Camper J. had to leave early for a fishing trip. His mom picked him up, they walked outside, and then she must have told him to come back inside and say thank you. He ran through the kitchen, past Tammy and I, threw back a “thank you!” and pointed to me while yelling, “Good pastor!” That, combined with everything else wonderful about day camp, completely made my week.

creation camp (1).

10 Aug

I pled with the staff many months ago for the opportunity to hold a day camp. After a couple summers in Stillwater, I knew that I would miss the many camps and children/youth activities that I so enjoyed at church. Dates were put on the calendar, information mailed, a dozen kids signed up. Here we go.

We have all sorts of fun planned for the four-day camp, including but not limited to making ice cream in baggies, ridiculous games, holding competitions to bring no-waste lunches, opposite day fun, frozen tshirts, terrariums, decorating team creation sheets, and making sidewalk chalk.

Highlight of the last two days – the “everyone-needs-to-have-both-feet-off-the-ground-for-three-seconds-using-this-wooden-box” teambuilder. These fourteen first through sixth graders worked together in impressive ways to accomplish the task at hand. Really, the group has been amazing in so many ways. They get along splendidly, work to include everyone, and can easily begin and sustain a game by themselves. These first two days have been a complete joy and I only anticipate the next/last two to be the same. It’s been a blast and I hope the campers agree!

six things I learned at lunch today

3 Aug
Today was my last (… there’s that word again …) midweek communion service in Grace Hall. The midweek service is every first Tuesday that follows the first Sunday of the month. (It confused me too.) It is a welcomed service for our members who no longer drive (they can take the bus to church on Tuesdays but not on Sundays when it doesn’t run) or who do not feel comfortable with the actions of communion in the larger Sunday setting. We had a good crowd today – nine people including Muriel, our wonderful 91 year old pianist.
After the service, it’s lunch time. Coffee and bars. Or cookies. Or today – peanut croquettes – which is the first thing I learned today –
1. Peanut croquettes. I had no idea what these treats were previous to lunch today. Cake, covered with frosting, rolled in crushed peanuts. Slightly resembled a cake ball. Good stuff.
2. Peanuts in the 10 oz. bag? Now $2.37 at the store. Announced with extreme distain.
3. The former bakery mixed too many bread crumbs in their peanuts to cover the croquettes. Dislike.
4. Drink coffee slowly. I burned my tongue.
5. A bit too much community gossip and I was reminded of the fact that everyone really is related. “Oh, she was my aunt” or “well, yes, he’s my nephew” abounded.
6. Everyone knows I’m leaving. I think every person who came made some reference to my inevitable exodus from Dawson. sad. There was even a delightful pair of non-members whom I’d never met before who came to the service and said to me, “Well, we heard you were leaving so we figured we should come.” Well. Thank you for coming.

I went to camp.

21 Jul
I never went to camp as a child. I remember bringing the form home every spring from church, stoked about the possibility of going during the summer but camp as a reality for me never came to fruition. (*nudge, nudge* Karen G. *nudge* Fruition!) My first trip to camp was as a counselor while I worked in Stillwater at Trinity. We took 3-6th graders to Bay Lake – a camp on AN ISLAND. We went to camp on an island. It was awesome.
So when Kendall was taking a group of boys to the Boundary Waters for camp and no ladies wanted to attend, I was jealous but was offered a few nights at camp as severance. I accepted. I went to Shores of St.Andrew Bible camp on Monday afternoon for the night. We had eight campers or so attending from Grace this particular week so I would check in on them, say hello, and enjoy the general splendor of a lake. (A foreign idea in and around Dawson.) There were camp songs, mosquitos and pirates stealing tire inner tubes – no element of camp was left untouched. Love it and can’t wait to create it for day camp at Grace in August!

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