Here’s a longer than necessary story with no point:
My brother’s girlfriend came to stay with us over the Easter weekend. I’d met her before, as she’s a student at the U of M and my brother comes this way to visit frequently. [her, not me. he’s never visited me specifically. hmm.] We weren’t sure she was coming until the day she arrived [my brother could work on his communication skills] and then we realized we had to think about Easter baskets [yes, my lovely mother still gives us an Easter basket]. We needed one for Kim. Off to Target I went. And to a home store to purchase paint primer for my mom. And then, as it turned out, off to the Red Robin restaurant down the street to meet my sister.
Let me explain. My sister was in Janesville having supper with her friends. Her car began making a funny noise and she wasn’t sure if she should continue to drive it or what was going on. She called my mom at home who told her that I happened to be in the same city [about 20 minutes from our house] running errands. My mom told Emma to text me to see if I could stop by to look at the car.
To look at it? I literally laughed at my sister when she told me that. What the heck do I know about cars?
Well, I did know enough to look in the front wheel well and see a large metal spring of sorts rubbing on the tire. I knew that wasn’t normal. And then I knew enough to call my uncle. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t drive it home, the uncle said. Call Farm and Fleet, he suggested. [Farm and Fleet, not Fleet Farm, is what it’s called in our neck of the woods. They have delicious orange slice candies and were conveniently located across the street.] I call. We drive there. We ditch Emma’s car for the experts to learn more about this mysterious metal spring [turned out to be a strut. strut, spring. same diff.] and my sister and her four friends piled in my car. [Do the math. My car seats five. It was illegal, but what more were we to do? Right. Call someone else to come to Janesville to pick them up. But we didn’t do that.]
I was telling my sister about what I bought for Kim’s Easter basket. I listed off a few items and then I said, “And glow sticks because who doesn’t love glow sticks?” [I always have a stockpile of Target’s dollar bin glow bracelets in my office at church. You never know!]
A friend from the backseat, “Glue sticks?”
I say, “Glow sticks. Everybody loves glow sticks.”
The friend repeats, “Glue sticks? Everybody loves glue sticks?”
I’m confused. Why is she repeating everything I say? In my head, in the translation and travel from back seat to front, I still hear glow sticks. What’s the confusion and what’s with all this repeating?
It takes me a minute. [long pause] “Did you say glow sticks?”
The friend says, “No. GLUE sticks.”
Oh. Now I understand the confusion. Emma’s friends now think I’m weirder than I already am because I think that everybody loves glue sticks and I buy them to put in my brother’s girlfriend’s Easter basket.
“Ha. I said glow sticks. Like glow bracelets. Everybody loves them.”
Confusion is cleared. The friends in the backseat agree. Glow sticks are pretty cool. Kim agreed too. She loved them in her Easter basket.
[under my breath]
“But I do love a good adhesive.”
there's no place like gnome. 