hammock.

7 Sep
The view upward from the hammock.
The hammock was part of Molly and Lindsay’s day of fun.  Molly is in fifth grade now.  She’s my cousin.  And godchild.  And likes to poke my sides and tickle me under my chin so I make that back-of-the-throat disgusting noise.  I love her lots.
The day together began with Sprocket (my car) needing an oil change.  That was fun.  We waited in like with, like, eighty cars … according to Molly anyways.
We went to a rummage sale at my church.  Also fun.

We ate spinach salads.  Yum.

Decorated cake balls for the party that evening.  The cake balls were PERFECTION.  So perfectly dipped and delicately sprinkled.  They were pieces. of. art.

Then we found the hammock, two trees and cuddled up in the midst of the wind and chill.  This hammock was my bed for a week when I was on a mission trip to Mexico, mixing concrete and passing buckets of the wet goop to cover roofs on houses in the Yucatan.  The hammock is super comfy and super huge enough for many of us to pile into it.  (When I was in Mexico, it was large enough for me to wrap it around myself with some left over.  With stupid innocence to think it would save me from the geckos.  That covered the ceiling.  Every night.)  Molly’s older brother, Sam, came later and joined us in our hammock glory.

pieces of home.

6 Sep
I was in limbo for a week.  I finished in Dawson but wasn’t quite ready to begin classes.  After dropping off my belongings at my new apartment on the Luther Seminary campus, I trekked home for a week of relaxing and time with family and friends … AFTER I took Tuesday and Wednesday to write, proofread, and fret about my approval paper due for candidacy.  (As a senior at seminary, I go through the approval process, where the faculty along with representatives from my home synod must agree and approve me for ordained ministry.  Step one of approval: the dreaded 17-20 page essay.)  After the essay was complete and emailed to the proper people, this is what I enjoyed …
… This is the view and how I (and my short, stubby toes) sat each morning and some evenings, often with a bowl of cereal or a mug of coffee in hand.  A screened-in porch with comfy wicker furniture.  After spending a year in western Minnesota, I appreciate the trees and the rolling hills more than before.  (Though there is something to be said for the open sky as well.)
The view of the old farm where I grew up from my backyard.
… An evening of bananagrams with a few of my own bananas and some of the guys.  Lynn and Kyle added a dimension to the addicting game – instead of yelling,”Peel!” when appropriate, a word or phrase is assigned in its place.  “Frigidaire.”  “The man punted Baxter.”  “Marshmallow.”
… Brunch and a matinee performance of Hairspray at the Fireside Dinner Theater with the ladies – aunts, cousins, grandma, sister and mother.  Very enjoyable.
… Many Target runs with various people.
… An Edgerton High School visit to see an always favorite band director, a wonderful administrative assistant, and, of course, Aunt Peggy.
… A dual birthday part night for sister, Emma, who turned 18, and Grandma Julie.  The most perfect night to be outside for a campfire.  Cousin Sam likes his s’more.

gnome, gnome in Dawson.

6 Sep
To the tune of Home on the Range, this ditty was sung for me during coffee hour on my last Sunday.  I’m not sure who to credit as the author … ?  And not sure about the lawnmower verse?  Check out the link for the embarrassing explanation!

Home, home in Dawson
Where under bridges gnomes play
Where seldom is heard
A discouraging word
And the snow can blow all day.

Gnome, gnome in Dawson
Where Intern Lindsay’s at Grace
Where she’s learned a lot
And become a part
Of the work in God’s holy place.

Gnome, gnome in Dawson
Where Lindsay teaches the kids
They all have great fun
And when they are done
They’ve learned a lot about God.

Gnome, gnome in Dawson
Where a blind girl drives a lawnmower
She drives to the right
And my, what a sight!
She goes in circles some more.

Gnome, gnome in Dawson
It’s time for Lindsay to part
May you enjoy your next year
And with a big tear
We send you love from our heart.

One year ago –

6 Sep

Labor Day, a year ago, the beginning of my time in Dawson.

Last Sunday.

3 Sep
My last Sunday at Grace really was all things wonderful.  I preached my last sermon, was given many kind words, and honored in the best ways possible during coffee hour.  The do-day ladies, with whom I tied quilts every month, made me a quilt.  The congregation as a whole gave me generous gifts, many hugs, and much love as I was sent on my way.
Being honored during the worship service.  Coworkers Keith, Tammy, Emily and Karen in the background.  (Along with the top of Chris’ head.  And Kendall is probably the receiver of my surprised/are-you-kidding-me face.)

Coffee hour was in my honor and included my own gnome story, a song – sung to Home on the Range, and an ode to my time as an intern.  It was a roast in the kindest way possible.  In many ways, it made it even more difficult to leave because it was so wonderful and honoring.  It did however include the revealing of my high school weekend winter occupation … the stripping came up.  (And then I owed the fellowship hall an explanation of what kind of [tobacco] stripping my parents made me do as a child.)
After the congregation members had made their leave, I took the much-talked-about tour of the sanctuary attic.  Keith, the custodian, had been promising me such a field trip for months to visit the bats, but it hadn’t happened.  So, in my pointy Nine West heels, I climbed the ladder to the attic to say that I’d been there, done that, check.  (Pictures still to come.  I know you want to see the sanctuary attic just as much as I did!)  Then the staff and I stood in the main office, none of us quite willing to say the first goodbye.  
Keith was the first to make his leave, giving me a hug, and saying, 
“Goodbye, Sunshine.  
It’s been fun.” 
Slowly but surely, sadly and with tears, the rest of the hugs were given and goodbyes were said.  The staff have become close friends – family in many senses of the word.  
Sad day.

Almost a week later and at home in Edgerton, I still feel displaced (as my wise friend, Justin, calls it).  I’m still sad.  I cried pretty much all of Sunday afternoon, Monday and Tuesday.  I even treated myself to a bit of pity-shopping … which led to the addition of two new cardigans to my wardrobe.  (Opps?)  The added stress of needing to complete and send in my 20 page approval paper helped matters none.  But it will get better.  Time at home is good.  Feelings of displacement will wane.  Back to St.Paul on Monday.  Class on Tuesday.

But for now – I grieve.  I grieve the end of internship and the physical distance friendships and relationships.

Sad day.

My gnome story.

3 Sep

Another part of my send-off during coffee hour included the reading of my very own gnome story.  One should know that the gnomes in Gnome Park in Dawson each have their own story, their own tale about the type of gnome they are and the kind of activities they engage in as gnome people.  In my honor, Kendall wrote a gnome story for me.  I have my own gnome story! My life is now complete.  As the story was shared, I was dressed with a gnome shirt, a gnome cap and a heart on my sleeve.  The story is quite extensive but I will give you the highlights – the ways in which Kendall slyly and lovingly made kind fun of me, my dressing patterns, and creative outlets.  

(a half-page worth of super descriptive characteristics of Dawson and then – )  This is a story of a gnome that lived in this village for only a very short time.  It was the wind from the east that brought this new gnome to live in the village.  But this gnome came to this village on the long road that runs East and West with a very strange wheelbarrow that was loaded high with lots of boxes and books and baking things.  This wheelbarrow had a tag on its front and rear with the name of a place we barely mention in this village – Wisconsin.  The little gnome traveler was tired and weary after having many other adventures and she looked around this village; she stretched and yawned and stretched again and rubbed her eyes.  And she thought and she thought and she thought.  Then she stretched and yawned.  And yawned and stretched.  As she was thinking, she looked around this village and she saw many little people.  They were mingling in the grass near the swimming pool.  They stood so still and so quiet.  This weary and tired little gnome from all her adventures watched these little people and she thought, ‘This village will be just the place for me to stay for a while.  It will be still and it will be quiet.’  And so began the adventures of a new gnome who pushed her strange wheelbarrow piled high mostly with books, and boxes, and baking things with tags on the front and rear from a place that was barely mentioned in the little village.  Now, there are a few things you should know about this new gnome.  She was a very, very curious gnome.  She was not like any of the other gnomes you may have heard about.  First of all, she is young for a gnome – in people years, that is.  This gnome likes to travel about and have adventures because she is still learning about the world and she still has many things to see and things to discover.  Now it is also important to know that gnomes don’t own many things.  They usually give away whatever they have, and they either make or find whatever they have to give.  But this gnome needed a place to store the things that had been piled high – mostly books and boxes and baking things in her wheelbarrow with tags on the front and the rear with a place that was barely mentioned in this village.  So she found her very best gnome cap and set it straight on her head.  She found her nicest cardigan sweater and she set off walking to find a still and quiet place to be.
(the adventure continues with this gnome discovering a church where she plans a party and then prepares to leave after her short stay)
Now as all the villagers stood by the side of the long road that runs east and west from their village they waved goodbye to their new gnome friend. All will be well in this village because as the villagers raised their arms to offer their special gnome farewell, they all noticed that yes, the hearts on their own sleeves had gotten heavier.  But not only heavier, they noticed that the hearts that they wore on their sleeves were much, much, much larger than before this new gnome came into their village with her wheelbarrow with tags on the front and rear of a place that was rarely mentioned, piled high with mainly books, boxes, and baking things.  So they were thankful.  And all will be well, too, in the new adventures of this gnome who likes to travel about because she is still learning about the world and she still has things to see and things to discover.  Yes, all will be well.
And as the gnome preacher left them on that long road that runs east and west through their little village with her wheelbarrow with tags on the front and rear with the name of the place that is rarely mentioned, piled high with mostly books, and boxes, and baking things, all the villagers hoped that the heart the gnome preacher carried on her sleeve had grown larger as well because of their time together.
The end.

Ode to the Intern.

3 Sep

Part of my creative and heartfelt send-off on Sunday at Grace – this ode was written and shared during coffee hour by Chris, the coolest organist I know.
From Edgerton to teachers school to seminary afar
To Dawson and Gnome Town, down Chestnut Street by car
Through the sanctuary, down the hallway, to the basement office; treated like a star.
Farewell to our intern at Grace.

Rally Sunday, Reformation, Confirmation Services in tow
All Saints Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmases in the snow
Through Lent and through Easter, and in summer services your care you show.
Farewell to our intern at Grace.

Making health kits for the needy and involving us all
VBS and creation camp – the kids have a ball
Lets not forget sharing family – Aunt Peggy most of all.
Farewell to our intern at Grace.

To another year of school we must send you right away
Papers and tests and professors every day
We certainly hope you don’t turn prematurely gray.
Farewell to our intern at Grace.

So go with God; his strength he’ll provide
His path he’s laid out for you, it will be quite the ride!
And anytime you need it, your friends will be here with arms open wide.
Farewell to our intern at Grace.

final sermon.

31 Aug
For those of you were weren’t able to worship at Grace on Sunday –
(Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16)

As I arrive at this morning – my last morning with you here at Grace – and to this sermon, I reflect on my year of partnering in ministry with you. It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since you welcomed me into this congregation. I felt the Hebrews text for today speaking in wonderful ways to my year with you and to the congregation here. I first read the text and felt myself beginning to tear up – tears of joy that my year is finally done and over! (shaking head) No. That is definitely not the case. So not true. I am saddened at the thought of leaving. This has been a wonderful year in ministry with all of you – you are welcoming people in a wonderful community. But still, in a way, they are tears of joy too. In talking with someone about being sad because I’m leaving, he reminded me that it is a happy day too. Not because you’re happy to be getting rid of me – I hope – but happy because it has been a good year. If it hadn’t been a good year, I wouldn’t be sad and I wouldn’t be teary-eyed. There is celebration here today too – a celebration of this community and the ministry you do.

This section of Hebrews teaches us how to live as a community of faith in an indifferent world. We are worshipping on Sunday morning and that puts us in the minority. Each of us could easily count ten people that we know that aren’t in church this morning – either with us or across the country. I don’t need names – not looking to throw blame here – but just think about it. As we sit here, we’re not the majority. More and more, we find the secular world overwhelming, systems that put us as Christians on the outside, part of the few. This section in Hebrews is why we are different from the broader culture, this is the life we practice. Just the other day, someone told me, ‘You know, it’s not always easy to be a Christian.’ No! It’s not. It is not always easy to live out these things that the author of Hebrews directs us towards.

This selection from Hebrews almost reads like those books you will find on the shelf at the library in the self-help section. The books that promise they can help you live your best life now. Books with the top ten ways to reach personal success. Seven steps for living at your fullest potential. It gives instructions, ways to live. But the difference here in Hebrews is that living life to the fullest has little to do with yourself. Living your best life is tied to the best lives of others. There is no self-talk here – no direction to develop a healthy self image. It doesn’t tell us to focus inwardly on our own lives, or to give direction to a selfish vision involving only yourself. To live as a community in Christ, a community of faith, is to be a family with open hands, hospitality, and care for all people. Living our best lives, our lives to the fullest, is connected to the quality of the lives of those around us.

Much of what the writer of Hebrews commends us to do is what I have witnessed within this community in the past year. I read this passage and can think of examples, of places where I have seen this faith lived out – places where your concern, your focus is outward, reaching to others than yourself was practiced and shared.

Remember those who are in prison, as though you are in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured. We could add these statements – remember those who work eight hours a day for $2 as though they are your neighbor and you’re working alongside them. Or remember those who are in the midst of a natural disaster – a nightmare – as though you are there beside them. In my time with you, I’ve seen this congregation go to work and put your faith into action to meet our neighbors. You’ll remember that we collected items for health kits, shortly after the earthquake in Haiti. The donations kept coming and – in the whole process of it – we put together well over 400 kits with supplies to spare. 400 kits! Those toothbrushes, washcloths and other supplies that we had an abundance of, that were left over, were recently sent to Kenya to be shared with our neighbors there. A cousin of mine was embarking on a month-long trip to an International Village in Kenya and, together with his travel mates, they packed their suitcases with those extra supplies we had. We had hundreds of toothbrushes, plus many washcloths, bars of soap, and combs to give.


He sent these pictures to share with you – pictures of the women, the students at the secondary school, and the children in the orphanage who received these goods were happy and appreciative. Connor, my cousin, wrote in the description of the pictures that he had never before seen someone so excited about a bar of soap. You gave them a bar of soap. These women that you see work for eight hours a day, often with their children on their backs, and earn $2 for their labor. The children in the orphanage were excited to have their own toothbrushes – they have nothing more than the clothes on their back so to have their own toothbrush is awesome. You gave them a toothbrush. More than a toothbrush – more than a bar of soap. You gave them love, gave them hope, and, through action, showed them that they have worth, even when the rest of the world easily casts them aside. We remember those who struggle, who are in need, and who call upon their neighbors to help them in their despair.

We live abundantly and focus on what Hebrews tells us in regards to this – keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have. We had an abundance of health kit supplies to share. We all have an abundance of things – including money – when we think about our neighbors in the world. So often we connect our best life, the improvement of our life, to money. That’s what many of the self-help books claim – that these skills will lead you to be more successful. What does success often boil down to in our culture? You’ll earn more money. Our culture tells us that when we have more, things will be better.

Hebrews calls us to live our life free from the love of money. Money isn’t what should be loved or worshipped. Instead, let mutual love of each other continue. Give love to your fellow believers in the community. Love to strangers through hospitality. Welcoming people, being a congregation that welcomes the stranger is a vital way to demonstrate love. Sometimes it’s hard to envision what that looks like at Grace in Dawson. We’re not in a metropolitan area where new people are consistently in and out. I’ve learned that there aren’t many strangers in Dawson. People know pretty much everyone and, well, people are related to pretty much everyone. Just the other day, someone made a connection for me – did you know that so-and-so is so-and-so’s grandma? No. I had no clue! In a year here, I still haven’t figured out the many ways in which people are connected and families are intertwined. Though the immediate people around us may not be strangers in that sense of the word, we can use our connections to evangelize, to preach the Christian gospel, to live our lives with the same mind that was in Christ. Perhaps there are strangers to the gospel, strangers to the love of community that need an open hand, an inviting word. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, or people you know well, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews instructs us in the midst of this community of believers but not just here – outside the church doors we’re called to live in this way. I leave for another year of school in St.Paul, saddened to say goodbye but looking back with such gratitude. That’s my story this morning. When I walk out the doors, that’s where I’m heading. As that is mine, all of you have your own stories. I don’t know where you’re going after worship this morning or what is heavy on your mind. Changes in health. Transitions to a new school year. Worry about a family member. We come from different places with our own stories and we’ll leave this place of worship to continue on our own way. As we go, we remember that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Jesus is forever faithful to us – that never changes. Our stories change. We change jobs, family situations, locations but God’s faithfulness does not change. I make this comparison lightly – not wanting to compare God to Santa Clause on too serious a level – but think of how children ask, after they have moved houses, “will Santa know that I’ve moved? Will Santa find me in our new house?” After that change, our response is always – of course. In a similar way, we change. We sin. We make mistakes and stray from the life we’re called to lead. Will God still be faithful to me after I’ve done that? Does God still love me? Our response – yes. Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever. He continues to be faithful here and faithful in all of our lives as we leave this place and go out into the world. Jesus’ never-changing faithfulness sets us free – through him, let us continually offer a sacrifice of praise to God. Because of God’s faithfulness, we’re given grace and we’re transformed. We’re empowered to be a community that loves and gives and thinks of our neighbors before ourselves.

Our reading this morning concludes with this verse – Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. Last week, we read about the Sabbath and the meaning of worship. That on the Sabbath day we rest but we’re also freed. We are freed in worship. What the author of Hebrews gives us here is worship too – do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. That is worship. That is living your life as worship. When we care for others, when we feel ourselves freed to help our neighbors, when we preach the gospel to others – that life of worship is pleasing to God.

I leave you with the challenge to continue your lives as Hebrews calls us to live. To continue to mutually love. To show hospitality. To remember those who are in pain. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have. There are so many gifts in this congregation to share – share them! We are called to be good stewards of what God has given us – to share what God has given us. Continue to find ways in which to help your neighbor, to be a light to others, and to live your life as worship towards God. I have been blessed to be a part of your community for a short year. You have shown me love, hospitality, and welcomed me in so many ways. Together as a community, I felt us reach out to remember those in pain, to worship the unchanging God, to continually offer praise to God. My life in the past year has been linked to yours – we’ve grown together, cried together, and prayed together. I pray that as we all leave this space and go out to different places this morning, whether out for brunch, to work, or to St. Paul with a packed car, we remember that our best life is linked to the best lives of others. That we’re all connected. That Christ’s faithfulness does not change. And we’re called to love one another always and have our neighbor be forefront in our Christian lives of worship. Always let your mutual love continue. Amen.

bite me, transitions.

30 Aug
Let us first note that this is my 200th post on this blog. Sorry to say it’s not going to be a very nice one. I considered waiting … not writing what is on my mind … including something pleasure-filled like yesterday’s celebratory moments. But what did I decide? Bite me, transitions. This is where tonight finds me; thus this is the blog posting #200. (I promise posting #201 will be all things magnificent and not depressing.)
I hate transitions – this one most specifically. To get you up to date, yesterday was my last day in Dawson. My last Sunday at Grace. Despite the fact that I had to leave, the morning was all things wonderful. The staff, internship committee, and congregation gave me the most thoughtful and perfect send-off. It included many things gnome, many things written, and so many joyful moments. Honestly, it made leaving all the more difficult because of how perfect the morning was … hrmph. I promise more about that, the inclusion of literary pieces (stories, odes, songs and sermon), and the tale of an attic tour is soon to come. Cross my heart. But right now –
Bite me, transitions. I left Dawson yesterday afternoon, arrived in St.Paul in the early evening, and then home to Edgerton by midafternoon today. It’s been a lot of packing, unpacking, and traveling for this short gnome. (That wheelbarrow gets exhausting to push. Too many books, boxes, and baking supplies!) I feel like I’m in between. Like I’m not quite sure where I belong. Dawson has been my home for the past year. St.Paul will become my home … but right now my apartment is the most chaotic pile of boxes ever. It feels nothing like home. Edgerton is always my home … but not ever in the same way when I live out of a clothesbasket while here.
I think back to other big transitions in my life. I moved to Decorah, three hours away from home, for college and mildly freaked out. In all honesty, as an eighteen year old, Decorah never felt like home. It wasn’t until I was 21 – my junior year – that I remember feeling like I belonged there. But I was there with 600 other students who were in the midst of the same transition. After college, after my stint substitute teaching at home, I moved to Stillwater. Big transition. Hard transition. But once I adjusted, I loved it … and I stayed there for a couple years. Even once I was in St.Paul, I was never too far from my Stillwater life. The transition to Dawson was not an easy one either; it took many months for me to adjust and have Dawson feel like home.
Eventually, it did. Then it was time to leave. Yesterday. I think what really bothers me about this transition is that I’m not a part of a mass-group of people undergoing the same change. Sure, other interns are filing back to campus from internship but we all had such different experiences. I feel there are many ways that I cannot even share what I experienced at Grace because it seems like I’m bragging. Dawson folk – you’re just too dang awesome. I feel very restless and very alone in the transition. I’m not sure where to go with it. And then I’m back on campus, transitioning, while I know that business at Grace continues … and I’m no longer there to be a part of it. The further bothersome point? Grace became my family … and I don’t know when the next reunion will be. It’s always helpful to know a date, an event, something that will bring us back together and right now, that’s unknown. I can only hope sometime in the somewhat near future.
I know it will get better but right now it’s just icky. I start to tear up when I think about it. It wasn’t much fun getting on I-94 and driving east instead of west. My heart wanted to lead me in a different direction. Bite me, transitions. I don’t like you much at all right now.
(I forewarned you that it would be a bit of a pity-post. That’s where I am, having my own little pity party. It will get better but for now, when I’m stuck in the in between, I cry. I mope. And I have to write/proof/finalize a twenty page paper tomorrow. That doesn’t help matters much either. I hrmph again.)

good week.

28 Aug
Even though it was my last week in Dawson, it was a good one. Let me give you the play-by-play :
Monday: I was treated once again to supper with C. and his family. They have been so wonderful to invite me over many times for supper and games. I built towers out of blocks and C. knocked them over. We ate awesomely decorated cupcakes and played a game about aphids. C.’s little sister seems to finally have adjusted to me. She gave me a hug before I left and jabbered away to me before dinner – super cute. I’m just sad it’s only happening now when I’m leaving!
Tuesday: Hamballs. (See the previous apology letter to the balled food.)
Wednesday: Taste of Grace. An annual pork chop supper in the courtyard at church to benefit the youth mission trip fund. We had a great turn out and the perfect weather to sit outside under a tent and enjoy the food. This was a good night because I got to see many of the youth that I haven’t seen since confirmation – I think I’ve missed them? No, not a question – I really have.
Thursday: My inevitable leaving was a reason to party at Stelter’s on this evening. The whole staff plus Lori (and spouses and children) came out for a delicious dinner and a good time. I should make it be known that it was, in many ways, an evening of worship. We prayed many times (every twenty minutes for fellowship) and worked our way through the hymnal, singing everything from ‘A Mighty Fortress is Our God’ to one that resembled a polka – so polka in the living room we did. There really is no way to explain how much fun we had this evening. Hands down – love, love, LOVE the staff at Grace.
Friday: One more movie night with my new friend, the organist. We worked together for this entire year (aka He began playing hymns as I tried to speak and then just smirked into his organ music as I stopped talking, defeated.) and I continue to kick myself that we didn’t become friends or start hanging out until the last month of my life in Dawson. We watched Up! Classic. (Kevin’s a girl?)
Tonight: I continue to work on my sermon, pack up my last things, and wait for my mother’s arrival later this evening. Though she was just here last weekend, she returns for my last Sunday at Grace. And to hear me be roasted during coffee hour. Not going to lie – I’m nervous.
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