A story of how I got left at the altar.

5 Mar

[A story of how I got left at the altar.]  It’s a snow day for the local schools.  The custodian came out to church while I was there and brought her kids along.  The youngest – we’ll call her T. – is always my biggest helper when she’s here.  She’s five -ish and eager to do anything.  Today, she helped me finish a bulletin board in the hallway and then she wanted to color on my white board.  Cool.  Go to town, T.

She finished the picture out of my view and then asked me to guess what she had drawn.  There’s no way I could have anticipated this one.  She turned the white board around –

T: That’s you.  (pointing to the purple lady)
Me: Cool.  What’s the red stuff?
T: Roses.  It’s your wedding.
Me: It’s my wedding?!
T: Yup.  And you’re surrounded by roses!
Me: Where’s my husband?
T: Oh.  He didn’t want to come.

Is this a prophet in my midst?  Is she telling signs of my future?

Me: He didn’t want to come to his own wedding?
T: Actually it’s not your wedding.  It’s your birthday party.  But he still didn’t want to come.  He doesn’t like roses.

A birthday party for me and I’m the only one who shows up.

At least I bought myself flowers, I guess.

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pancakes.

5 Mar

[pancakes.]  I have pancakes on the brain this week; I’m not sure why.  I do love pancakes; I have a whole pinterest board of pancakes.  However, I eat them rather sparingly.  Ever since my mom said, “If it has cake in its name, it shouldn’t be a breakfast food” I’ve begrudgingly stuck to my oatmeal and hard-baked egg.  [No.  Not really begrudgingly; I love oatmeal and eggs too.]  But then, every once in a while, I’ll splurge for a pancake Saturday.

As kids, my brothers and I would eat pancakes in a very gross fashion.  Our favorite thing to do was take our plate of pancakes and syrup, use our fork, and smash the heck out of those puppies so all that was left on our plate was a pile of sticky, gruel-like pancake mess.  And then we would eat that pile of sticky, gruel-like pancake mess.  I don’t know why we did this but we did it all. the. time.

I think my pancake eating has come a long way from the fork-smashed box-mix pancakes.  I learned how much I loved pancakes once again when I made these a couple years ago – lemon ricotta pancakes with berry sauce.  It just sounds heavenly even saying it.  Lemon ricotta pancakes with berry sauce.  From there, I went to pumpkin pancakes.  Rainbow pancakes.  And banana oatmeal pancakes.  Plain pancakes just sound boring now.

I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about pancakes at this moment.  I sat down at my computer and started typing this; I can’t even remember what the trigger was to begin.  I guess pancakes can distract even –

Did someone say pancakes?

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Weekend update.

3 Mar

[Weekend update.]  After a week of three funerals in Lent, I was ready for a weekend.  I turned off the alarm clock and enjoyed a lazy day and a half [until I had to write my Sunday sermon on Saturday night].  It was wonderful and much needed.

On Friday, I hung out with my favorite three classes of first graders, got a manicure [I had a gift certificate from Christmas to use.], and made potpies with butternut squash and kale.  Yummy.  Since all I ate last week were funeral lunches and bowls of cereal, it was simply super fun to cook again.  Can you smell the garlic sautéing?  So delicious.

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On Saturday, I found time to quilt and sleep and go for walks with Miss Mabel.  Today after church, Paige and I hit up the outlet mall and I came home with new treadmill kicks and pajama pants with rowboats on them.  [I’m anticipating a sleepover this coming weekend with two friends; I needed new pajama pants.  Naturally.]

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A bonus story:  Ever since I’ve moved, my mailbox has received an odd piece of post or two.  Odd because they’re not addressed to me; they’re addressed to my mom.  At my address.  The Scrubs magazine?  Makes sense since my mom is a nurse.  However — Beyond the Bean?  Addressed to my mom?  At this house?  Weird.

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Friday Favorites.

1 Mar

[Friday Favorites.]  I don’t have much for favorites this week.  Instead of being online or finding cools things on pinterest, I’ve been writing sermons and preparing for funerals.  Hopefully, I’ll be back in full force next Friday.  For now, just two things –

First, I went on a search for instrumental music to use during our Wednesday night Lenten service.  Just by happy happenstance, I clicked on this album because of it’s beautiful cover.  In a Time Lapse.  I’m in love.  I ended up buying the whole album and have listened to it a lot in the last couple days.  It’s great for writing sermons.

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Second, I just caught up on Jon Stewart during my breakfast this morning.  This segment on maple syrup in Canada struck me as one of the most funny things I’ve seen in a long time.  It’s great.

Okay.  Just kidding.  One more thing – in my sorrow and self-pity and sleepiness after such a crazy week – I bought this.  I just love colorful things in my kitchen and I think it will come in handy.  I’m already anticipating its glorious arrival early next week.

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Goodnight, Irene.

25 Feb

[Goodnight, Irene.]  I feel like I owe you all a life update.  Life is crazy, she says again.  That’s like my life refrain.  Sing with me –

Wednesday night Lenten service.  Funeral.  Sunday worship.  Funeral.  Wednesday night Lenten service.  Funeral.  Sunday worship.

Did you sing it?  I did in my head – probably more in the genre of screaming Pink than anything orchestral and collected.  You may sense a pattern but it was not on repeat for the musical integrity of the song.  That’s my week beginning last Wednesday.  Worship service – funeral – worship service – funeral – worship service – funeral – worship service.  In a matter of ten days.

So that’s where I’ve been and will continue to be for the next five days.  I’m already exhausted.  In other news —

Sunday was a beautiful morning.  See the featured photo above for proof.

I hosted a Luther College outreach team on Saturday night.  They helped with worship and Sunday School.  It reminded me of how awesome college was and the great friends and memories I made while on an outreach team there.  They were super great young adults; it was fun to eat supper with them and have people in my house.

At the funeral lunch this past Saturday, I ended up sitting next to a member.  An older member.  [Early to mid-60s I would guess.]  The man across the table asked us if we were married.  #awkward.

Here’s how the first part of my tonight went: Turn on television to watch The Bachelor.   Television suddenly receive NO television stations.  No Bachelor for me tonight.  Turn on an episode of something on Netflix.  Begin to eat supper while watching.  Phone rings.  Answer phone.  Hang up phone.  Sit back down, restart episode, begin to eat again.  Cell phone rings.  Seriously?  [Everytime I answer the phone now, I internally say to myself, “Please let no one have died.  Please let no one have died.” Three funerals in a week is plenty.]

The night continues with me falling asleep at the keyboard while I type this post.  I think it’s time for bed.  Goodnight, Irene.

Friday favorites.

22 Feb

Gosh, guys.  I know I said last week was crazy no-good.  This week wasn’t much less crazy.  But probably a little good-er.  Yet, still, I’ve been a horrible blogging friend.  Should I make another promise to do better next week?  I’ll probably fail.  Please forgive me in advance for both an empty promise and failing to live up to it.

It is Lent, after all.  Cut this pastor a break.

Right.  Friday favorites.  I didn’t have a whole lot of time to search for awesomeness this week but some of this just fell into my lap.  Welcome to my favorites of the week.   Today they’re short and sweet.

I do love sewing paper.

Oh Happy Day writes of a spoon cookie cutter.  Can you imagine eating ice cream with a cookie spoon?!  Mind blown, right?

I have very little idea of how a chocolate pear custard tart with almond shortbread crust would taste but I can only imagine it would start with a g, end with a d, and have oo in the middle.

My favorite moment from the week?  When little precious three year old L. greets me.  She always has the most innocent, “Hey Pastor Lindsay” for me.  It’s pretty darn darling.

Do you love a good grammar/punctuation laugh like I do?  Look no further than these new punctuation marks!

And last but not least —

I give thanks.

17 Feb

[I give thanks.] A post written in the rhythm of @UnvirtuousAbbey without the awesome humor and retweets. Read mine and then add your own. What do you give thanks for this day?

For a mandoline to quickly and uniformly slice sweet potatoes for the week, I give thanks. It’s like the guillotine. For yams.

For members who one day are seemingly against anything I say and the next day are the ones volunteering to pray and bringing bars of soap for our LWR care kits, I give thanks.

For completely sincere, supportive, and loving emails from a sincere, supportive, and loving friend, I give thanks. [That’s all you, broken mothership.]

For dark chocolate sea salt popcorn, I give thanks. For the P90x cardio dvd to offset the dark chocolate sea salt popcorn, I also give thanks.

For internet that finally works without powering down the router at church every six to eight hours, I give immense thanks.

For a double dose of The Bachelor this week, I will give thanks. [No judging. Sometimes the prospect of trashy tv gets me through my day.]

For Hannah who made me a tissue paper flower and helped me set up for worship, I give thanks. [Hannah -6ish years old- made tissue paper flowers with her grandma. Her grandma asked, “Who do you want to give this to?” certain the answer would be her mother. Unprompted, her response was Pastor Lindsay. I melt.]

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Your turn.

Friday Favorites.

15 Feb

[Friday Favorites.]

Gosh, I love everything about this.  Post-its, fun messages to leave around the house [though I don’t think Mabel can read], and endless possibilities all around.

This is my crazy cousin, Molly.  I love her and seriously think she may have a future as a professional lip syncer. 

I LOVE the idea of an indoor herb garden.  Oh, to have cilantro on hand.  Have you had any luck with indoor herbs?  I seem to kill them off.  Maybe [you and] I can find a few handy tips here.

Salted dark chocolate popcorn, you sound absolutely delightful.

You know how I get about Thai food.  Do you also know how I get about the Pioneer Woman?  [Love her.  Want to be her.]  Take those two hands and put them together [said like Joey from Friends].  I present to you Thai Chicken Wraps by Ree.

And, last but not least, this I need to believe and begin to live:

A memo to the Batman.

13 Feb

[A memo to the Batman.]

To: The Batman

From: gnomepreacher [and her friends at Red Oak Grove]

I have two theories, Batman.

1. Bats simply follow you wherever you go.  OR

2. You brought one on purpose.

In my year and a half at Red Oak Grove, I have seen no bats.  I have heard no bats.  I have had no bats swooping at my head.  That all changed last Sunday … conveniently the Sunday AFTER you visited.  Hmmm …

I hadn’t walked into the narthex/sanctuary yet that morning; the organist was the first to do that.  I was in a different hallway, chatting with people who had just arrived when we heard a screech.  I can’t be exactly sure but I think it was something like this: AHHH!  THERE’S A BAT!

Because there was a bat swooping around in the narthex.  A bat, Batman.  Explain that one.  I will mention that because of our lack of bats, we do not have proper bat-catching or bat-fighting tools.  There was a broom involved and a trash can at some point.  I’m sad to say, though they tried, the bat did not make it out alive.  We lack the Batman skill.

[Gail: This is really just me wanting you to make sure Keith knows we have now had a bat!  Pass it on!]

Joy.

12 Feb

[Joy.]  Ministry is hard.

I’m reminded of that this week more than ever.  It’s not any one thing in particular.  It’s prepping for Lent.  It’s congregational reports taking more time than I want them to take.  It’s realizing on Tuesday that I won’t get a weekend this week.  It’s having more people on my to-visit list than I can feasibly actually visit.  It’s two sermons a week for the next six weeks.  It’s organizing youth for a lock-in and acolyting and Lenten suppers.  This isn’t new stuff and it’s not unique-to-me stuff.  But it’s hard, and the difficulty is striking a new chord this week.

And so, in times like this, I look for joy.  I need a little joy this week.  Okay – I need a lot of joy this week.  Here is where I’m finding mine; where are you finding yours?

I made mini-heart cookies. For being a spinster, I actually love the crafts and baking that come with Valentine’s day.
I mailed these to mi madre y hermana.
The first block of a new quilt. It will be the most involved and challenging I’ve ever made. I’m ready for it.
I *finally* went to get fingerprinted so I can get a license to substitute on my day off. Subbing will bring me joy.

Featured photo: First grade Valentine’s art work adorn the halls in Blooming Prairie.  I love it.

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