Archive | for funny. RSS feed for this section

seriously. watch this.

18 Mar
If you haven’t yet seen this, watch it and love it.  [And if you have seen it, watch it again.  Like me.  I’ve watched it – and laughed hysterically – at least eight times.  Okay.  Twelve.]
Do you think I can, like, somehow ensure that any potential child of mine has facial expressions that equal this?  

ridiculous.

7 Mar
I can laugh at myself.  Here is the perfect example.  You can laugh too.  It’s ridiculous.
It was a balmy 25 degrees on Saturday when I – along with Kim, Krissy, and Lynn [meet them in the previous video post] – boarded a shuttle bus that took us to Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis.  Then I jumped into the frozen lake with gal pal, Rachel Green Sara, and her mom, Jenny.  We were team ‘Just Add Water,’ wearing aprons with ugly frill, oven mitts, and carrying kitchen utensils [a whisk for me].  There were also swim caps.  I’m not sure anyone looks good in such a weird stretchy thing, but I certainly looked horrid.  I will, however, thank the swim cap for keeping my head dry.  I am certain that not having a head of wet hair helped a lot when enduring the cold water and air.
But really, besides looking ridiculous [which was the goal to begin with], it wasn’t bad.  It was actually a lot of fun.  After the count of “1 … 2 … 3 … PLUNGE!” we jumped and then got ourselves out of the water as quickly as we could to run to the hot tubs.  Honestly, I’d do it again.  It was fun.  And just enjoyable to watch people’s reactions when I told them what I did this weekend.
In total, there were 2900 plungers at this specific plunge, raising over $600,000 for Special Olympics!
Thanks to those who pledged for my plunge! 
 

video post.

6 Mar

All your questions will be answered by clicking play.

[Further posts regarding my weekend of visitors and pictures of the polar plunge will follow.  For now, this is all you get.  Make as much sense of it as you can …]

need a giggle?

7 Feb
“I’m speaking to you as we speak, from the now, in the middle of the now.”

Thanks to Cassie for this one.

a story for friday.

14 Jan
I woke up this morning and felt along my beside table to find my glasses.  Found them.  Slipped them on.
I normally go straight for the shower but this morning I was feeling lazy.  It is Friday, after all.  I turn on the lamp by my desk and open up my computer while still gathering my morning wits.  
What’s going on, I wonder.  I can barely see the computer screen.  And it’s kinda dark.
Am I losing my sight?  I have to lean in way close to my computer screen to read my inbox.  And why is the computer screen so dim?
I step back, realizing what is happening, and begin to freak out.  Just a little bit.  Seriously.  I can’t see at any distance.  It should be a lot brighter in my room with the lamp on.  What is going on?!  Seriously!  Is this the beginning stage of going blind?
In my still sleepy, freaking-out state, I reach for my glasses.  Maybe they just need to be cleaned?
(Really, no.  That would not have fixed it unless my glasses happened to have been caked in mud.  But I was still half asleep, guys.  I didn’t want to go blind and was willing to try anything!)
I reach up … and take off my non-prescription sunglasses.
Duh.  Wrong glasses.

survived.

9 Jan
I spent my weekend – 48 hours – in charge of a five year old and I live to tell the tale.
To those of you who are mothers, this is no large feat.  But I’m new to this 24/7 care of a child and the child is not mine or a family member’s.  Things are different when it’s someone else’s kid … and you’re not mom or dad.  
M. is by no means a stranger to me nor I to her; I first babysat for her when she was just a few months old.  But this was the first overnight.  And it was TWO nights.  M. never hesitated to tell me that she missed Mom and Dad and she wished they were there.  Me being different threw off her routine, the normalcy, and I’m sure it was tough for her.  (Plus, I’m just different, apparently.  In the mornings, after she would wake me up at 7-0-0, she would tell me, “You don’t look like Lindsay” as my glasses were on and hair in no proper condition.  After I showered/dressed/contacts in, she would say, “Now you look like Lindsay.”)
Once I looked like myself and we had the treat of special cereal for breakfast, we had fun.  I played the part of a sports nanny, toting M. off to both swimming and ice skating lessons.  I was asked if I was her mother a few times.  (I used to be offended or even question how people could even think that!  But then I realize I am 27 years old and it’s completely possible to have a 5 year old without scandal involved …)  We went out for lunch at M.’s favorite Indian buffet, where the waiter knew her by name and gave her a free mango smoothie.  I brought crafting supplies and my Barbies (the ones that have collected dust in the basement of my home of origin for many, many years) along to play so we kept busy when we were at home too.
Today, after skating, we stopped for ice cream.  Her parents were now home and just waiting for us to return from the lesson and our snack.  M. contemplatively ate her swirl cone (which was not as giant as she had requested) and said, “I’m glad Mom and Dad are home but it also makes me sad that you’re leaving.”  
For cute.  We did have a lot of fun.  She’s one polite and hilarious girl.
L: Would you like some water?
M: Yes, please.  That would make me very happy.
L: Happy as a clam?
M: No.  Happy as a bicycle.
I’m sure it won’t be too terribly long until M. and I have another chance to play.  Crafts, paper chains, turkey curry (her favorite), Barbies, and all sorts of fun will come again.

found.

27 Dec
I helped my mother for a few hours last night, sorting and cleaning the basement.  What did I find?
1. My Wisconsin and Iowa teaching licenses.  Never actually used those …
2. Nancy Drew collection.  Belonging to my mom as a young girl, I read all of these yellow hardcover mysteries at least three times as a kid.  My mom thought she might like to try and sell them online – VETO.  I dream of ordering them on a bookshelf of mine someday; books are always pretty but books filled with nostalgia and hours of glorious reading are absolutely wonderful.
3. Eight jars of jam.  Mmm.  Thumbprint cookies to come.
4. “God is Everywhere” picture book.  Sounds like a threat.  (Law and gospel?)
5. My professional teaching portfolio.  Well over 100 logged hours of projects, lesson plans, and papers about to be recycled.  It was the culmination of my undergraduate degree and throwing it out doesn’t make it seem like a waste of four years.  Of course not …
6. Book cloth.  Book board.  Incomplete book art projects.  Proof that I skip hobbies every couple of years and the supplies from the former gather dust.  (An expensive habit.)  Next up: knitting (while continuing to quilt).

a word bubble conversation.

29 Nov

And it is –

9 Nov
Dashboard Jesus!
My sister said it was too good to not buy for me while she was in Colorado visiting our brother.  Agreed.  The gift meets all my expectations and more.  The box reads this – “Dashboard Jesus comes with an adhesive base.  Affix to all of your favorite things!  Great for desks, dashboards, bicycle helmets, computers, or anything else needing a spiritual life!”  While my sister is pushing hard for the bicycle helmet placement, Dashboard Jesus is currently living among the gnomes.  He makes friends easy enough and the gnomes might need a little preachin’ to with all the mischief they tend to cause.

attic tour.

28 Sep
THE attic.
Remember back with me to my last day at Grace in Dawson.  Nearly a month has passed.  I still miss it, no doubt.  (Stay tuned for another blog post about a short return trip to gnometown.)  On that last day, I got the much-promised tour of the church attic by the custodian I call Keith (or Batman), the custodian who calls me Sunshine.  We had talked about touring the attic many times; I promised Keith I wasn’t too chicken to meet the bats (while, secretly, I really would shriek if I found one swooping in my general direction).  With no further days to do it, up the ladders I went in my Nine West heels, along with other interested coworkers and coworker’s children.  Sharon documented the occasion for me.  Ready?
Up I go …
Second level.  I’m. so. scared.  (Not really.)
Made it.  I don’t see any bats …