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a list of cliches.

20 Oct
Roll with the punches.
Go with the flow.
Things don’t always go as planned.
As a pastor, I tend to live these cliche phrases.
I had grand plans for today.  I had a Zumbro River conference meeting [a monthly meeting of pastors in the same geographical conference which includes worship, a program, and lunch] in Rochester.  Then I was going to go home to the office and write my sermon for Sunday along with a newspaper article, a November newsletter, and plan a care center service for Sunday.
I sit in a Starbucks just outside of the Methodist Hospital in Rochester.  With one visit of a parishioner behind me, now I wait for another parishioner to get out of surgery.  Ministry is not one that can be planned.
Sure, I can plan a Sunday in which the third graders will receive Bibles.  [Oh, hey, PL, you should get that on the calendar soon.]  I can plan Sunday morning worship and plan curriculum for the Sunday school kids.  But when it come to the day-to-day and to the activities that fill a given period of time in my work week, it’s all up for grabs.  Who knows what will happen.
Along with the cliches above, people will often say that ministry happens in those times that are not planned.  Ministry happens in the interruptions.  [I hate to say that visiting people in the hospital is an interruption.  It’s not in the negative sense but simply in the not-always-planned sense.]
That – in addition to simply poor planning on my part – is why I will once again spend my weekend writing my sermon and doing other work tasks.  One of these days, I will not work on my weekend.  One of these days.  [I told this to Marilyn.  She laughed at me.]
In other news, I still am not a fan of hospitals.  The Mayo system both scares and intimidates me.  Pretty sure I rode in a staff elevator earlier.  So confused.

[Oh.  And as a follow up to excuse me? I would also like to share with you that the mayor of Blooming is aware of my single state which seems to be some sort of disease here.  “Well, we’ll have to find her a man,” is what he told another.  Oh, Mr.Mayor.]

excuse me?

17 Oct
*clears throat*
It was an interesting morning of visits.  [And this was all after an hour of quilting and a stop at First Lutheran in Blooming to check out the lutefisk prep for the Cadillac of all church lutefisk dinners tomorrow.  I’ll be the one in the red apron.]  Allow me to share.
I visited a woman for the first time at a care center.  We had a delightful conversation and then I asked if she would like communion.  Oh yes, she said.  I did the words of institution, had prayer, and then together we said the Lord’s Prayer.  Except I heard a third voice.  The roommate began to pray along with us from the other side of the curtain.  I poked my head over, introduced myself, and asked if she would also like communion.  Oh yes, she said.  She’s Catholic but her children attend ROG and she doesn’t see the big deal about Catholic vs. Lutheran.  We’re all the same, she said.  It was fun – to meet another person, to hear a voice join us in prayer from behind the curtain, and chit chat with both women.
I visited an elderly gentleman for the first time too.  We also had delightful conversation except for the parts in which he insisted on being involved in my marital status.
Do you have children?
No.
Are you married?
Nope.
How old are you?
27.
You should get married.
Sometime.
You’re running out of time.

Excuse me?  We were able to continue the conversation on another topic and stayed from the relationship status of the pastor until the end.
It was great to meet you.  Take care!
You too.  Now you go find yourself a man.
[insert fake laugh/effort to not cry]

Right.  Because I haven’t been trying up until now.

a fall festival.

17 Oct
About 25 Red Oak Grovers [I’m coining a new term.  Grovers is to be those of Red Oak Grove.  Not multiples of the blue dude from Sesame Street.] celebrated and dwelled in fall weather yesterday.  We began with a scavenger hunt for the kid grovers that included decorating a gourd pumpkin as they went.  From there, we hopped on hay wagon racks and traveled where Tom the Tractor Man [not his official title] drove us.  
We ended on Tom the Tractor Man’s property by the river where Tom the Tractor Man’s wife had attempted to build a fire.  It was no fire-starting disability of her own but terribly windy out today.  [I’m sensing a fall theme in SE MN.]  There was enough heat for s’mores to go along with our hot cocoa and cider and that’s all we needed.
It was a fun afternoon and a great chance for me to get to know a few more people on deeper levels.  The kids are great and I think the families are excited for more opportunities like this one.  But note to self: Be a better planner.  Invite other people to plan with me.  Don’t be forced to scramble last minute.  That was not cool, PL [Pastor Lindsay].  Not cool.

reasons why –

11 Oct
– I love my job:
I spent two and a half hours at a care center, first yelling into the ear of a man who was hard of hearing while I attempted to give him communion in a public space.   [This was after we cleared up the fact that I was not the pastor’s wife but indeed the pastor.]  Second, visiting with a woman who, in the middle of a story, pointed to her television and asked, “Did you see my head of Christ?”  Why, yes, I did notice the statue of Jesus’ head that lights up on top of your tv.
Before I went to the care center, I spent close to two hours at a downtown Owatonna eating establishment with Paige, jD, and new friend, Amanda the intern.  I so appreciate the opportunities to check in and ask, “What would you do with this?” and “What are you doing for a children’s sermon this week?”
I now have a giant easel pad of paper on a giant easel in my office.  Marilyn fetched the easel for me – she thought it was necessary.  I stole the paper from her office.  Operation: Internet has begun and it requires a large visual.  [I’m listing every internet possibility and writing down details/crossing them off as I make phone calls.  After phone calls.]  It was finally realized that if I want internet, I need to start with the yellow pages and do it myself.  [Even though most of the research has been done; it just can’t seem to be organized.  Color me frustrated.]  The easel pad and a flower pot of new Crayola markers will help.
I spent yesterday morning quilting with the women of Red Oak Grove.  I do love a good quilting morning.
I can build a website/blog and it’s considered work.  I plan confirmation and it’s considered work.  I can call Karen from Stillwater at the synod office and it’s considered work.  A lot of mornings, I just stand in Marilyn’s office and talk.  I think that has its place too.

excitement.

6 Oct
I’ve been at Red Oak Grove for officially a month.  I started with my first day in the office on September 6 and have been through emotions, introductions and lots of firsts.  There is much to be excited about here in the grove but, of the story I’m about to tell, much of this has primarily been focused here in my last week.
In the October newsletter and last week in the bulletin, I introduced a new approach to moving forward together in ministry.  Well, new to me and the congregation – not new to ministry or the greater church.  I propose that we meet in small groups – ideally no more than 12 people – in people’s homes for coffee, treats, and conversation.
These cottage meetings – spoken of highly in many my seminary courses – are safe places for members to speak about what’s exciting in the church, where the strengths of the congregation lie, and where they hope to be in the next ten, twenty, and 150 years.  I proposed these cottage meetings first to the council and I was met with … hesitancy.  They weren’t sure and were reluctant to give me a substantial go ahead.  
I struggle with the idea that I’m the sole pastor and have some sort of power.  I hate to even call it that – power – but ultimately, I’m in the place to make such decisions.  [Just like I’m in the place to buy Bibles for our three year olds … but just can’t get myself to spend the money without running it by someone else first.  That’s what I’m used to!]  And so I made the decision.  I was going to throw the idea of cottage meetings out to the congregation and see what happened.
In this last week, I’ve had three people contact me and tell me that they are willing to host a conversation! Yessss!  Three people plus another one at the parsonage [I’ll have to borrow folding chairs from the church!] and another potentially in the church fellowship hall, and there we have five possible meetings.  By golly gee, people seem to be on board.  This is exciting – super exciting!  I know these meetings will be invaluable to moving forward in ministry.
The next step is to put up sign up sheets so people can choose a cottage meeting that fits their schedule best.  From there, we meet, we talk, and we dream about the ministry at ROG.  I feel strongly that ROG has great gifts and is ready to move forward in ministry, trying new and innovative things to reach and draw people.  [They’re ready for new and exciting – they did just call their first ever female pastor!]  It’s an exciting time, and I’m excited to be their pastor.  

comfy clothes, tv & a beer.

6 Oct
Thursday is the new Friday.
Friday and Saturdays are my days off which means that come Thursday night I am so anxious to throw on the sweats, put in a movie [or a few episodes of a tv show] and be completely lazy.  By this point in the week, I’m so ready for it.
It was a good, terribly busy week.  It somehow sneaked past without me being able to do any home visits [which makes me feel guilty].  But I did meet with parents who are having their son baptized next Sunday.  I planned the confirmation year and met with those families.  Wednesday morning was spent with 100 WELCA woman from ROG and surrounding congregations.  I had dinner with the Blooming ministerium.  I spent this morning in Blooming hanging out at First Lutheran with Heidi and Charlie, the pastors there.  [Both of whom are AWESOME and will be great colleagues to have.  Heidi is fun and super helpful and Charlie is one of those pastoral presences that I could sit and talk with for hours and likely reveal my deepest darkest secrets.]  Then, from 3-9pm today I was off at a synod event, gaining energy around mission and stewardship, all while texting Paige who sat at the next table over.  [throw in worship planning, website design, mail sorting, and necessary conversations with Marilyn, it was a busy week indeed.]   
I arrived home at 9 tonight, took Mabel outside, and the sweatpants were donned.  I’m in an Irish mood so Leap Year is the movie of choice.  I might drink a beer and soak it all in tonight because, truth be told, tomorrow I’ll be working.  There’s a sermon, a visit, phone calls, and a Blooming homecoming football game to attend.  [What’s the Blooming Prairie mascot?  A flower.  They’re the Awesome Blossoms.  True story.]  All things that can’t wait until Sunday.  This is where that whole conversation about self-care comes into place and how terribly hard it is for pastors to ultimately take care of themselves.  
I tell myself I’ll take comp time next week but who are we kidding?  I’m having company next weekend [Luther homecoming bound!] so the sermon prep will need to be done early and time dedicated to the fall festival we’re hosting at ROG on Sunday afternoon.  It will be busy but it will also be good.  Welcome to ministry.

*ahem*

4 Oct
Let’s clear the air here.  
Just because I’m a pastor does not mean I don’t drink beer or the occasional long island iced tea.  [mmm]
Because I’m a pastor does not mean I don’t ever swear.
Sometimes I don’t even want to go to church so don’t worry.  I’m not judging you when you’re not there.  You don’t need to make excuses to me.  Please, don’t make excuses.
I read things other than the Bible.  Actually, most things I read are not the Bible.  [Should I dwell more in Scripture?  Probably.]
Sometimes my shoes may be quite pointy and the heels a little high than what one would expect for clergy.  [“You don’t look like a pastor!”  I got that one last week.]
…
One of my greatest pet peeves of late are the comments I get in regards to these things.  Well, a pastor can’t say that.  Lindsay – you drink?!  But you’re a pastor!  
Nope, people, I’m a human being.  I don’t define you by your occupation/vocation so please don’t let this define me.  I feel called to do this and love what I do, but I’m no different than you.  A flawed, sinful person in need of God’s constant grace.
It’s a tricky thing but that’s where I’m landing right now.  Other clergy would fight me on it regarding the life we are called to live above reproach and whatnot.  But just verbally fight.  Pastors can’t throw punches.
[Right?  My point exactly.]

sunday the third.

25 Sep
I arrived back to the dear parsonage a la 1:30am and was up around 6:30 to finish my sermon and figure out a children’s sermon.  [Thank goodness the Spark Story Bible I ordered last week had arrived on my doorstep!]  I dragged myself to church by 8 and wondered why in the world I’m in such a profession where I need to be up so early on a Sunday.  A Sunday.
Worship happened and – once again – a sermon that I thought was mediocre at best received a lot of positive feedback.  I shared cakepop knowledge with a table of people at coffee hour [we are so going to have a cakepop class at some point – there is interest!] and met with the youth and parents who are planning to head to the national youth gathering next summer.  [Who is their chaperone?  This girl!]  From there, a couple stopped in to set up the baptism of their son [Oct. 16 – to be my first baptism!] and then a woman who was visiting the church stopped by to chat.  I stood outside with one of my neighbors, her three kids, and their dog [who came down the road to join the conversation halfway through – sometimes Neutron walks the family to church and waits outside the doors until it’s over] for nearly an hour.  Despite my lack of sleep, it was a very, very good Sunday.  
From there, however, I got lazy.  Over the course of the afternoon, I watched the entire third disk of the second season of Modern Family.  I napped both in my hammock [brr] and on the couch.  I guess I did bake a cake and roll cakeballs.   Sewed a curtain for the guest bathroom [which I’m now not sure that I even like].  And not going to lie, after I finish a few emails, I might just go to bed.  This girl is still tired.
The Bishop’s Open tomorrow has been postponed until next Monday because of a possibility of rain … or something.  I received a voicemail about it.  I can’t get myself to actually work work now … and neither can Paige so we’re going to IKEA.  And maybe the Lakeville Target.  [seriously the Target of all Targets.]  Tomorrow night we’re chilling with jD too.  I’m sure we’ll talk business most of the time so really, it’s not like a full day off.  And I’ll go into the office briefly tomorrow morning just to clear my desk.  It’s messy.

ps If you are Coloradohi [shout out!], please know that I’ve tried to email you and thank you for your comments/reading [a long time overdue, I know] but cannot get through on google to connect to your email/profile!  If you would like to connect further, find my email on my google profile!  Thanks for reading!

Density.

22 Sep
Why is it when I have two sermons to write [this week has been too crazy to actually spend office time writing a sermon … actually, that’s pretty much every week] all I want to do is watch Back to the Future and sit around in sweatpants?  
I’m heading home again this weekend for another wedding – Mike [cousin] will marry Jennie and I’ll be the one doing the hitching.  It should be a family good time.  Both brothers will be home, along with the sis; the whole family together for a night of celebration and Spotted Cow on tap.  Another late night of Saturday driving for me to arrive for my third Sunday morning at ROG.  
Today I made phone calls, played with the ROG website, and spoke to three different people at Dish in regards to why we still can’t get internet.  grr.  [This is only a big deal to me and Marilyn.  For example, I was hoping to communicate with my council via email.  Nope.  The majority of them don’t do email.  I’m learning to use the phone again.]  I met with my first call theological colleague group for two hours over lunch and then visited a member in the hospital.  Time always seems to get away from me.  Because now it’s Thursday night and those two sermons loom over my evening.
Maybe I’ll put Marty McFly on in the background.
He’s my density.

a post written monday.

14 Sep

Sunday was good.  Worship went well.  Mom and Emma were here.  I put together some IKEA furniture and continued to settle into the house.  I read a lot, now being hooked on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  [A note added Wednesday: I have since finished said book.  Super confused about the ending?  Anyone else?]  I had dinner and a late night of laughing at jD and Lauren’s house with Paige.
Oh, how things change.  Today I feel like I can’t keep my head above water.  [Another note from Wednesday: Tuesday was no different.]  I feel like so much of my time in the office is wasted by solicitors and simply clearing off my desk so more mail that needs to be sorted can be put on top of it.  [I answered a phone call and was told that I had to serve time in jail by the March of Dimes.  I would have to raise bail in the amount of $1000 and serve an hour of time.  Um, I’m not comfortable doing that in my second week here?]  We still have no internet so my list, entitled “Upon internet,” keeps growing.  [Rumor has it we’re on a waiting list to get it too!  A waiting list?  What the face.]  I have two sermons to write this week and had a really strange conversation with a person, which I’m afraid I did not handle well at all.  I don’t know what to expect for the first council meeting tonight.  I have more questions than I know what to do with, and still very little clue of who to even ask half of the stuff.  Today is not a good day.  I’m treading water but my legs are growing tired.
I’ve drank too much coffee and not enough water; my hands are shaking.  I want to retreat to my house and just breakdown [sometimes that simply needs to happen] but my house is currently unavailable.  [A new back door is being installed.]  And so I ran away to a place in Austin with internet.*  It was in the plans for the day to begin with but now it’s serving not only as Lindsay-needs-internet time but Lindsay-needs-a-time-out time.  It’s on days like this that I question my ability as an administrator.  I love doing ministry – totally and completely.  I wish I could do ministry without worrying about a budget to balance, internet issues, and going to a million different meetings every week.  I suppose the challenge at hand is to learn to do ministry through those tasks; wish me luck.
* I wrote this before I ran away in search of internet.  What did I find upon arriving in the magical land where wireless exists, aka a coffee shop?  That the entire city of Austin had lost power.   No internet for Lindsay; no internet for anyone.  This land was not magical at all.  

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