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theological high.

9 Nov

[A politically correct title?  Likely not.  Oh well.]
Fall theological conference for pastors, baby!
Paige and I left Owatonna Sunday afternoon bound for Rochester where we would meet up with jD.  Not due to arrive to pick up the missing third of the triple threat, Paige and I stopped for lunch.  Here.  It’s kind of a classy place; a place that most of the people in the area know about and have been.  I’m fairly certain we walked in and lowered the average age of restaurant guests by about 40 years.  It was the Sunday-after-church-older crowd.  We stopped for chocolates at the chocolate shoppe across the street and then were off again, ready and poised for more adventures.
Once we were three in the car, we began discussing how we wished the car ride was longer.  I was looking forward to going off with friends but I just wasn’t sure that I was prepared for a two-day conference with stodgy pastors.  Alas, we arrived, checked into our hotel rooms and took a deep breath as we entered the reception area and cash-bar-with-the-bishop before dinner and the official start of the conference.  
To recap: We enjoyed the journey.  We were uncertain of the actual conference and reason for travel.  Would it be enjoyable or just boring as all get out?  These fears were real.
It turned out our uncertainties were not actualized.  Hooray!  While there certainly are some stodgy pastors [you can’t tell me everyone at a dentist convention is full of fun either], I met some awesome colleagues.  Both nights we were there included pastor hang out sessions in various hotel rooms.  It felt comfortable to be with other pastors who understand, who can also take off their ‘pastor hat,’ and who can have a good time.  One particular pastor – who shall remain nameless – made his way into my heart with his rebellious side and cursing mouth.  We’re just people, people.
I got to see dear Karen of Stillwater – the one who now works on the synod staff – and she invited Paige and I to the secret seventh floor appetizer parties.  I met other first call friends and had lunch with the bishop.  It was, however, eventually time to leave.  jD, Paige, and I piled back into Sprocket, bound for Chinese food before leaving LaCrosse.  The resulting restaurant find was not overly pleasant and none of us were brave enough to try the number five.  
There is a price to pay for the crazy faith-filled fun of clergy.  Hot tea is now my best friend as I nurse a sore throat and icky nose deal.  Lack of sleep and that darn sleep-number bed that would not cooperate I will blame.  [We tried to figure out our sleep number but the remotes were too advanced for our kind.]  I will conclude, however, that fall theological conference ranked quite high in my book.  It was a high I needed and a renewal that came at the right time.  I feel – at least a little – rejuvenated for ministry back in the grove.  

excitement.

6 Oct
I’ve been at Red Oak Grove for officially a month.  I started with my first day in the office on September 6 and have been through emotions, introductions and lots of firsts.  There is much to be excited about here in the grove but, of the story I’m about to tell, much of this has primarily been focused here in my last week.
In the October newsletter and last week in the bulletin, I introduced a new approach to moving forward together in ministry.  Well, new to me and the congregation – not new to ministry or the greater church.  I propose that we meet in small groups – ideally no more than 12 people – in people’s homes for coffee, treats, and conversation.
These cottage meetings – spoken of highly in many my seminary courses – are safe places for members to speak about what’s exciting in the church, where the strengths of the congregation lie, and where they hope to be in the next ten, twenty, and 150 years.  I proposed these cottage meetings first to the council and I was met with … hesitancy.  They weren’t sure and were reluctant to give me a substantial go ahead.  
I struggle with the idea that I’m the sole pastor and have some sort of power.  I hate to even call it that – power – but ultimately, I’m in the place to make such decisions.  [Just like I’m in the place to buy Bibles for our three year olds … but just can’t get myself to spend the money without running it by someone else first.  That’s what I’m used to!]  And so I made the decision.  I was going to throw the idea of cottage meetings out to the congregation and see what happened.
In this last week, I’ve had three people contact me and tell me that they are willing to host a conversation! Yessss!  Three people plus another one at the parsonage [I’ll have to borrow folding chairs from the church!] and another potentially in the church fellowship hall, and there we have five possible meetings.  By golly gee, people seem to be on board.  This is exciting – super exciting!  I know these meetings will be invaluable to moving forward in ministry.
The next step is to put up sign up sheets so people can choose a cottage meeting that fits their schedule best.  From there, we meet, we talk, and we dream about the ministry at ROG.  I feel strongly that ROG has great gifts and is ready to move forward in ministry, trying new and innovative things to reach and draw people.  [They’re ready for new and exciting – they did just call their first ever female pastor!]  It’s an exciting time, and I’m excited to be their pastor.  

*ahem*

4 Oct
Let’s clear the air here.  
Just because I’m a pastor does not mean I don’t drink beer or the occasional long island iced tea.  [mmm]
Because I’m a pastor does not mean I don’t ever swear.
Sometimes I don’t even want to go to church so don’t worry.  I’m not judging you when you’re not there.  You don’t need to make excuses to me.  Please, don’t make excuses.
I read things other than the Bible.  Actually, most things I read are not the Bible.  [Should I dwell more in Scripture?  Probably.]
Sometimes my shoes may be quite pointy and the heels a little high than what one would expect for clergy.  [“You don’t look like a pastor!”  I got that one last week.]
…
One of my greatest pet peeves of late are the comments I get in regards to these things.  Well, a pastor can’t say that.  Lindsay – you drink?!  But you’re a pastor!  
Nope, people, I’m a human being.  I don’t define you by your occupation/vocation so please don’t let this define me.  I feel called to do this and love what I do, but I’m no different than you.  A flawed, sinful person in need of God’s constant grace.
It’s a tricky thing but that’s where I’m landing right now.  Other clergy would fight me on it regarding the life we are called to live above reproach and whatnot.  But just verbally fight.  Pastors can’t throw punches.
[Right?  My point exactly.]

installation.

2 Oct
I was installed today.  Much like an appliance.  Or carpet and laminate flooring.
Installation – according to the congregation members who shook my hand following worship – means that I’m official now.  It’s real now.  I’m the pastor at Red Oak Grove.
Installation meant that Larry from the synod office came to preach and do the installation portion of the service.  It meant that the service was changed to 10am to better suit the dinner that followed.  It meant that I was extra nervous and that I was lucky to have visitors representing my happy places – Aunt Kari and Grandma Julie representing from Edgerton; Mark and Karen from Stillwater; C. and family from Dawson.  It was so wonderful to welcome guests to ROG and my home.  Mabel was quite excited to meet new friends too.
I received lots of “Congratulations!” [Is that what you say to a newly installed pastor?  No one really knows.]  “It’s official now!” was heard a lot.  Hugs and kisses on the hand from C. and his sister.  I got a “Congrats, kiddo!” [Kiddo?  Really?] and many “We’re glad you’re here!”  
I’m glad I’m here too.

The Help.

1 Oct
Have you read or seen The Help?  It was my early summer book and just a few weeks ago while I was in the Cities on my MN tour [post-AAA] I saw the film with pal, Kara. [This post has been a long time coming.]  I don’t care to discuss book vs. movie reviews because we already know the answer.  [Right?  Right.]  But I think, whether you’ve read the book or seen the film or both, there’s one part that seems to stick with people.
You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important.
The story line is one of African American females who worked in white women’s homes as maids, fixing meals and caring for the children.  One of the main characters in the story repeated three lines to the children she cared for every chance she got.  You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important.
If only every child was told this every day.  
There was a six grader in a southeastern Minnesota community who committed suicide two weeks ago.  It makes one wonder if anyone told him this message.  If they did, did he believe it?
I suppose that’s the other part.  We can say the words but do our actions show what we say?  How do we ensure that they know they’re important, have gifts, and potential?

That’s one of the huge reasons I feel called to ministry.  To tell children that they are kind, smart and important.  To help a community share this message – to live this message – with the youth.  To guide children – and all people – in discovering their own gifts and purpose, and to point those out as I see them.

After hearing about the suicide in the nearby community, I wanted to preach to the children and youth.  I wanted to tell them that there is never anything they cannot come and talk to me about.  They are loved beyond measure and have gifts to live.

You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important.  

drugs.

29 Sep
I went to the care center in Austin this afternoon to visit a couple congregation members.  The first one – we’ll call him Steve – and I had never met.  I probably looked a bit lost, peering into his room to see if he was there.  Luckily [maybe?] the chaplain of the care center who I met yesterday at text study was just across the hall in another room.
Are you looking for Steve?, she asked me, walking into the hallway.
Who’s that?, yelled the woman in the room across the hall.
She’s another pastor, explained the chaplain.  
Is she on drugs too?
No, she’s not on drugs, the chaplain answered immediately.
On that note, we walked away and the chaplain took me to where Steve was hanging out with his wife and in-laws.  End scene.
My first instinct was to laugh but the chaplain kept a straight face so I managed too.  My second reaction was to ask, well, who else is on drugs?  And third, I wanted to ask this chaplain, whom I had only met once briefly in a larger group of people, what made her so sure that I wasn’t on drugs …

A Sunday post on Wednesday.

14 Sep

First, from the rooftops and from the parsonage, I will yell, “I HAVE INTERNET!”  Thanks to the suggestion of Crystal at Verizon Wireless, I charged an extra $20 to my phone bill [*under breath* my brother’s phone bill] in order to turn my iphone into a wifi hotspot.  $20 will well be worth the saving of my sanity.  Now begins the seven million blog posts I’ve written in Word in the past week.  Check back often – I’m staggering their posting to keep you in suspense.  First, a post about my first Sunday at Red Oak Grove –
Sunday, during worship, was not the first time a child ran amock during a children’s sermon I led.  It wasn’t the first time an organist and I mis-communicated and played/talked at the same time.   It was not the first time I led worship alone. 
Sunday was, however, the first time I have ever been able to say, in the confession and forgiveness at the beginning of worship, “as a called and ordained minister of the church of Christ.”  It was the first time I wore a stole while leading worship.  [Green – thanks, Grace!]  It was the first time I led worship at Red Oak Grove Lutheran Church.
And it was good.  I learned a lot more names, shook a lot more hands, and made a lot more connections.  [Including a woman who belongs to and is very involved in Tanzania missions at Trinity in Stillwater – the congregation at which I worked for nearly three years.  Turns out she was baptized at ROG – it was fun to talk with her!]  During coffee hour each Sunday, birthdays and anniversaries of that week are recognized.  The pastor rings a bell to get everyone’s attention and happy birthday/happy anniversary songs are sung.  Every week, one member of the congregation, who is handicapped, raises her hand in response to “Anyone have birthdays this week?” with a “MEEEE!”   Every week.  [I feel like there is more of a story there with some giant dose of community and grace.  I’ll keep investigating and will report back at a later date.] 
I feel like some of the compliments and graciousness was due to the honeymoon we’re currently on.  It’s the honeymoon period of the church and I.  As a number two on the enneagram, I feel like they were sitting in the pews, judging me and what I was saying and how I was doing it.  [That’s probably not even the two in me.  That’s just honest truth.]  Even though they shook my hand enthusiastically, I can’t help but wonder what they really think.  You know, how they really feel about this new pastor of theirs who desperately needs a haircut.  [Seriously.]

so far.

9 Sep
Since we last met, things have been crazy and calm, both awesome and overwhelming.  I spent Wednesday and Thursday mainly in the office, getting a handle on a few more things, meeting the people who stopped by, and going to a WELCA meeting.  I met jD for lunch at The Roost Cafe in Blooming Prairie [owned by Beth, a self-labeled liberal Catholic, who is all around pretty awesome] and received a tour of the care center in Blooming, where a handful of ROG [Red Oak Grove] members live.  I started to work on the sermon for Sunday, and waded my way through worship planning using the green book.  [The green book is secret Lutheran code for the green hymnal that sits in church pews.  There is also an updated cranberry book – the latest Lutheran hymnal.  We do not have this in our pews.]  I visited a few members, gave the custodian more work to do [I kinda broke my office window.], and dined with the Dorcas circle at church last night.  I’ve kept busy.
Things are good.  People seem excited that I’m here and their pastor.  I received only one comment so far about my age.  [I was meeting ladies at the WELCA meeting, shaking their hands and introducing myself as they went through the line for lunch.  One woman shook my hand, not entirely sure who in the world I was or what I was doing until I said, “I’m Pastor Lindsay.”  “Oh, I wasn’t expecting someone so young!”]  I met two ladies at the independent/assisted living section of the care center yesterday, one of whom knew about me and of my friendship with jD.  You see, she’s the oldest living life-long member of ROG [not to be confused with the oldest member of ROG who is not a life-long member and married into the congregation] and she’s bff’s with the oldest member of one of jD’s church.  They talk on the phone every night, apparently about their pastors and who knows what else.  Oh for cute.  I love stories like that and women who talk on the phone with their best friends every night.
Between those visits and the opportunity to dine with and participate in Bible study with the Dorcas circle last night, I’m reminded why I do this.  It’s in times like those that the questions of what the heck am I doing?! and is this really right for me? disappear.  Here’s hoping Sunday morning is another one of those times.  You know me and worship leadership – nervous nelly.  We’ll see how this goes!

to work.

6 Sep
Today I went to the office.  [I walked across the parking lot.]
I was the tiniest bit terrified about it.  Nay – I was absolutely terrified.  and nervous.  and unsure.  
I caught up with the administrative assistant – Marilyn – and then set to work on my office.  The way it was set up made it look like the place where furniture went to die – a mix of different pieces in an odd combination.  I wasn’t quite sure how to make it functional and spatially attractive to me so I simply started pushing desks in different places, and by golly gee, I’m really happy with how it turned out.  I hope to get some lighter paint on the walls and have the blinds on the big window repaired so I can have as much natural light as possible.  Books, gnomes, and office supplies were moved in and I love the result.  Here I can write a sermon or meet with a couple for pre-marital.  I can assemble various projects at a work table [hidden behind the door] and use either my macbook [preferred] or the desktop [when needed]. 

After rearranging and unpacking, I tried to get a handle on a few things.  The result of this effort was a l.o.n.g. list of questions, a couple researched files, and a to-do list for the future.  I met with Brent, the council president for a brief period of time, talking about budget, the upcoming annual meeting, and the logistics of a cell phone for me.  I’ve only worked here for a day but I appreciate this man.  A lot.  He appears to be so involved, so genuine, and so strong a leader, which is exactly what a church needs in a transition like this.  
On the other side of things, I spoke to a certain colleague on the phone at three? four? different times today.  The main question I asked [and this colleague echoed] was this:
What in the world am I doing?
Not only what am I doing but why am I doing it?  I am perfectly certain that I’m called to be a pastor but really?  Really?  Is it normal to ask myself what in the world I’m doing every day?  every hour?  I know I love it; I really do.  I think beginnings are hard, especially when I have no clue where to begin.  I think that once I feel comfortable, feel like I have a handle on what’s going on, and feel like I not only know people but that people know me, I might ask this question less frequently.  But for now, each day, as I walk across that parking lot, I think I’ll question what in the world I’m doing and if it’s right.  
Basically, what I’m left with at the end of my first day is a lot of questions.  Lots of questions.  There is lingering fear and definite nerves about being THE pastor at this church.  The former pastor here ended his last newsletter article with something like, “May God bless you as you follow Pastor Lindsay and her leadership.”  My leadership?  I have leadership?  I’m the leader?  Lots of questions.  Lots of confidence needs to be relocated within myself.  Lots will happen and ultimately, despite the questions of what in the world I’m doing, I think this is the place for me.  
my office door with a greeting from pastor paige!

[AAA] I’m a pastor.

26 Aug
I’ve already begun to get mail addressed to “Pastor Lindsay.”  Sometimes the envelopes also read “The Rev. Lindsay.”  [I don’t like those envelopes.  Far too formal for this girl.]  I’m a pastor.  whoa.  I had this realization while in Canada on the drive.  I’ve meant to share this story with you for a long while but craziness has ensued since returning to the lower 48.  
I arrived in Prince George and was ready to find a hotel for the evening.  At my second stop in the decent-sized town, hoping to find a room for less than $100 [a difficult task in Canada it seems], I met a super helpful clerk at the front desk of the Ramada.  I told him I was looking for a room and wondered how much it would cost.

Is this trip business or leisure?
Uh … leisure?
What company do you work for?
[silence with a likely dumb stare]
I’m trying to find the best deal for you.  Maybe your company will offer a discount.
I’m a pastor … [sarcastic laugh]
Oh.  Okay.

My first reaction was to laugh.  A discount?  I’m pretty sure not.  There are many perks to being a pastor [senior rates at the YMCA in Austin!] but I’m going to guess discounts at hotels in Canada is not one of them.  [Or at least not that I’ve ever heard.]  I thought to myself, yeah right.  I don’t think so.  
My second thought, as I walked away in search of a cheaper room, was to walk with a bit of a spring in my step [a la Professor Lose].  I’m a pastor.  How super cool awesome is that?  I’m a pastor!  It felt great to say it aloud, to own it, and to know that after much schooling and work, I’ve reached the profession – the call – that I am so excited to have.  I’m a pastor.  [huge grin]

[ps.  curious to see more photos from the AAA?  you should be able to click this link to access my facebook album of the adventure.]

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