DC.

22 Jan

[DC.] Did you watch the inauguration?  It was probably the first time I’ve sat and really watched and listened to the inauguration of a president.  It was wonderful.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry a little bit during the POTUS’ speech.  And love FLOTUS’ haircut.

And it made me want to go to DC.

I’ve been twice.  First for senior class trip in high school.  My classmates and I boarded coach buses and drove thru the night to the city filled with history and culture.  We stayed through the week, filling our days with historical monuments, museums, and flying kites on the national mall.  [We had a free afternoon to explore the Smithsonian buildings but we were so tired of playing the tourist.  So we played the weirdos who flew kites on the mall.]  It was a wonderful trip.  My friends and I made memories we still talk about today.

The second time I was a junior? senior? in college.  Being at the liberal arts college I was, I joined the Student Global Aids Campaign.  We were all about AIDS awareness and advocating for available treatment and prevention.  In one weekend, we road tripped – again in a coach bus – to DC to march in an AIDS march.  It was an incredible whirlwind trip of which we spent 40 hours on a bus and only 10 hours actually in DC.  It was crazy and a great college experience.  March in DC for a cause dear to my heart?  Check.  [Above is the only photo I could find on my current computer.  Proof that I was there, along with my friends Kara and Deb.  Also proof my hair used to be really long and kinda gross.]

DC.  I’m ready to go back, explore it again, and immerse myself in the history again.  Add it to the travel list.

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A Banana Wedding.

20 Jan

[A Banana Wedding.]  Are you finding this blog okay?  Are you adjusting to the switch?  I dearly hope so because one of the fun reasons I switched is to write a post like this – a gallery of photos!  [Click on one photo to scroll through the rest.  How fun!]

These are photos from one of the most sincere, most laid back, most fun and non-traditional weddings I’ve been a part of to date.  Congrats to banana Kay and Peter who both seem so incredibly happy!  [For those interested in the inside details of the Dancing Banana bunch, the banana dance was also performed.  We stood surrounding Peter, sang, danced, mashed, and thereby inducted him into the Banana group as an H. Banana.  Husband/honorary Banana, that is.]

Rehearsal. Only Kay would be on crutches for her wedding day. She rode down the “aisle” on a bellhop cart and was carried back down the “aisle” by Peter at the end of the ceremony.
Bridal suite preparations. Note the brace on her left foot.
I promise this small child is not drinking beer. Well, root beer. A handful of Banana kids.
Meet Joe. Joe is an H. Banana. Joe had my camera during the ceremony. This was a “test” photo … I guess.
Pre-ceremony. Note the paper airplane in Lynn’s hand. It doubled as the program and the send-off for the couple as everyone flew them as they walked down the aisle.
The groom … waiting …
It’s blurry. But I still wanted to share. The couple smiled and laughed the whole way through. [Especially when I accidentally said “her” instead of “him” and Domanic couldn’t get the rings off the knot that somehow appeared.]
There were donut holes! The spiffed-up Banana kids loaded up!
Six Bananas + a space for our seventh, Allison, who lives in TX and couldn’t be with the bunch.
I realized last night how much I miss these classy ladies.
Post-Banana dance.

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Welcome.

19 Jan

Welcome to gnomepreacher.com!  New and improved.

This is now the place for gnomes and cakepops and silly tales of life in southeastern Minnesota.

Check back often!

[photo source: etsy.com via Jennifer on Pinterest]

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I don’t speak boiler.

16 Jan
My week at church has been chilly.  And it’s only Wednesday.
It all began on Sunday.  As I prepared for worship [after hurting my back by walking], I noticed the sanctuary felt chilly.  Fifty-nine degrees chilly.  I fiddled with the thermostat and found everything as it should be except for the fact that there was no heat.  I happily turned the problem over to the men who called the other men to come in vans and shine flashlights in the boiler room.  The thermostat began to go up just as everyone was leaving church for the day.  If it is cold again tomorrow, treasurer Bob told me, just call the heating&cooling guys.  Okay, Bob.
I wasn’t in the office much Monday morning because, well, I slept until 8 and took the morning slow.  [I hurt my back by walking.  Remember?  And I knew I’d be at church thru at least 9 that night.]  I went to the Austin High School to have lunch with Mary, a member, who heads up the nutrition/foodstuff for the Austin district.  She works with fun people; it was fun.  I got back to the office and watched the thermostat in my office slowly decline.  66 … 65 … 64 … 63.  I called the heating&cooling guys.
Guy: So, uh, what’s wrong?
Me: There is no heat.  I’ve watched the temperature go down since I’ve been here.
Guy: No heat, huh?  Have you been in the boiler room?
What I wanted to say: What the hell would I do in the boiler room?
What I actually said: No.  Bob just told me to call you.
Guy came.  Guy called other people.  Guy said he thought he found the problem and he’d be back Tuesday.  Fast-forward.  Guy had been at church for many hours yesterday, finally gets ready to leave, and stops in my [freezing] office to give me the scoop.
Guy: No heat for at least two days … need new parts … I’ve been on the phone forever with warehouses and distributers … burners … cats … you’d better get some space heaters … good luck.  [paraphrased.  and maybe nothing about cats.]
I just nodded, pretending to understand at least one tiny bit of what he said.  I understood enough to call a trustee who then called another trustee who together brought industrial diesel heaters [the kind you use in barns] and space heaters.  They will stop by periodically to turn them on so water doesn’t freeze and walls don’t split and hell doesn’t freeze over.  [Did I just say my church is hell?  Not true.]
God bless the farmer trustees.
They speak boiler.  I do not.

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the queen of dumb injuries.

15 Jan
I once popped my knee cap by sitting down.
Have I told you that story?  I was in high school and still riding the bus home from school.  I got on the bus this particular fall day and just as I was somehow twisting my body to sit in the seat, the bus started to move, and that caused my knee cap to pop.  My knee cap was seriously sticking out where it should not have been sticking out.  
I tapped Matt on the shoulder.  Matt was, at the time, one of my friend’s boyfriend.  Look at my knee!  He looked, said, That’s not normal! and then sat back down.  The bus driver could see there was some kind of commotion in the back but I assured her it was fine.  The knee cap popped back into place without much prodding and, really, it did feel okay.  Not too much pain.
Until it was my turn to get off the bus and I could barely make it down the aisle and across the road.  I stayed at the end of the driveway while my dad backed the pickup to where I was and then took me to the emergency room.  I was on crutches and had a knee brace.
That was dumb injury number one.
Dumb injury number two?
I hurt my back.  I feel about 84 when I say that.  I’m on a steady diet of ibuprofen and watching me get out of bed to turn off my alarm is painful, both to do and to watch.  How did I hurt my back?
I was walking.
It was Sunday morning and I was walking to church.  I had my computer in my purse slung over my shoulder, as I always do, and I stopped at the mailbox to grab the church mail from the weekend.  As I walked across the parking lot, I could feel something beginning to happen in my back.  It started to spasm and, well, hurt.
Did you slip on ice? people ask me.  No.
Did you step funny?  Nope.
Did you twist weird?  Not that I recall.  
I was walking.  The queen of dumb injuries rests her case.

rollercoaster.

9 Jan
My work week has been a rollercoaster and, frankly, I’m not thrilled about it.
Sunday was fine.  Back from vacation.  Feeling fresh.  I think people learned a little about epiphany.  Linda, a member who wrote a book about her life with polio and keeps a blog, actually wrote about the service in a post.  Check it.
Monday sucked.  My to do list was long, I felt swamped, and found my list of to do filled with menial tasks that seemingly lacked ministry.  Figure out who needs keys for the church.  Buy a dvd player for the church.  Phone calls.  Newsletter.  I was just crabby and it made for a bad day.  [Then I kickboxed, made pad thai, and watched The Bachelor so there was improvement.]
Tuesday was good.  I had a productive office morning/ministerium meeting in Blooming and then was off to Austin for visits – some really profound, holy visits.  My first visit was to a man who is dying.  He was tired, laying down, and had “taken his ears out.”  The family said I could go in a say hi and to communicate they handed me a white board and a red dry-erase marker.  I would write on the board, show it to him, and he would nod or give me a hand gestures.  It went something like this: Hi.  It’s Pastor Lindsay. / Would you like communion today? [nods yes. give communion.] / The body and blood of Jesus given for you. [nod.] /  We are praying for you. [gestures to hold my hand.]  It was a pretty holy place.
Today was not horrible … but confirmation – my beloved confirmation – threw me for a loop tonight.  We hadn’t met for actual confirmation class since the end of November; maybe our rhythm was just off.  But between one of the kids making a gay joke [I might have jumped on that a little too harshly.], cell phones, secrets, and just gross disinterest [I may be slightly exaggerating.], it was so frustrating.  I made me completely question what the hell I’m doing for structure and how badly I’ve screwed it up.  [Of course I immediately blame myself.]  Shit.
But hey – if the course of the week continues, tomorrow will be awesome.  Here’s hoping.

a british sunday.

7 Jan
It was all scones and tea for us last night as we gathered to watch the two hour premiere of Downton Abbey last night.  As with most Sunday evenings, we – the pastors, Charlie cat, & Charlie person – joined forces and spoke in British accents.   On Sundays past, we have gathered to watch Once Upon a Time but so sorry, crazy fairy tale characters and crazy plots, Downton Abbey is a trump card.
Do you watch Downton?  Check out this fun summary of the first two seasons whether you’ve seen them or not.  It’s fun.
In other news, I was kickboxing in my living room tonight and accidentally side kicked Mabel in the side of the face. I apologized but I’m not sure she’s forgiven me yet.

my contribution.  i was just excited to use my two-tiered serving tray.

homemade christmas/epiphany crackers.

I cry.

5 Jan
I figured out a tear trigger for me.
I always cry at animal movies, but really can’t say I’m the biggest animal person in the world.  I mean, I like animals but don’t really care an extraordinary amount about the gorilla at the zoo.  I’ve always wondered why I cry so when the people are saving the whale or helping the dog get home.
I cry at underdog movies.  Movies where the baseball team comes from behind after working together.  Or the movies when the bigger and better team/person/etc. moves to help the smaller and horrible team/person/etc.  Or the movies where the townsfolk support the awkward guy who buys a life-size sex doll and pretends it’s his girlfriend.  [Okay.  That’s just one movie and it’s called Lars and the Real Girl.]  
Then, tonight, I cried at this.  This ten year old boy in Philadelphia saves up his allowance money to give to the local animal shelter because he loves cats so much and he wants them to find homes.  Seriously, Lindsay?
I think I’m a sucker for people who help.  I’m a sucker for the people who bond together for a common cause – whether to save a whale or change someone’s life or give someone another chance.   I even cried during the latest Spiderman movie when all the construction workers moved their cranes to help Spidey travel through the city.  
I wish I was joking but nope.  There were actual tears.
They bonded together to help Spiderman and I turned into a puddle.  
Geez.  

favorite things.

5 Jan
1. Downton Abbey premiere.  Season three.  Tomorrow night.  I printed off paper dolls.  Don’t judge.
2. Rice noodles.  I’m not much of a pasta person, but for this Asian food staple, I go a bit crazy.
3.  Ruzzle.  It’s a new word game my sister introduced me to – one you play on your phone.  Find me and let’s play; I can almost nearly certainly guarantee that you’ll win.  [I’m not very good.]
4.  The Bachelor begins on Monday night.  Again, please don’t judge.
5.  Dreaming up service projects for Lent.  Health kits, anyone?
6.  Haircuts.
7.  Clean sheets and a freshly-made bed.
8.  Epiphany crackers.  [I ordered cracker snaps to make Christmas crackers but they did not come in time.  Instead, I will make them to celebrate the visit of the magi.  Quite appropriate, actually, as they traditionally come with crowns.]
In addition, favorite things are not: organizing my bedroom closet, preparing the newsletter for church, laundry, feeling absolutely overwhelmed at work, Saturday sermon writing, how boring mail becomes after Christmas, and red delicious apples.
Image

a story.

2 Jan

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