there's no place like gnome.

It’s not that I’m tired.  I just made a lovely dinner and now have strawberry and rhubarb simmering on the stove.  I worked outside and had a baptism at the church earlier.  I want to start a quilt; the fabrics are all ironed and laying on the ironing board.  [a baby quilt, a la this pattern.]  There is stuff to do and I would love to do it.

But instead I’m stuck.  I’ve tried and thought about it all weekend; now it’s crunch time.  A sermon must be in presentable working order in 14 hours.  I’ve started but I cannot get myself to continue.  Creative energy at an all time low.  I see facebook statuses of friends with awesome sermon titles and ways to draw people in.  I have none of that.  I can’t keep doing this.  I loathe Saturday nights of working, especially knowing that the next morning will be an early and stressful one.

blah, blah, blah.  complain, complain, complain.

I’ll stop now.

I just need to survive the next one and a half weeks.  One and a half weeks until I’m on vacation for a week.  One and a half weeks until I will jump in my car, visit friends, relax, and have a Sunday off.  I will read and kayak and sleep.  I hope it rejuvenates me.  It has to … right?

I woke up at 12:30 am after having gone to bed just after 11.  This never happens to me.  If there is one thing I’m a rock star at, it’s a good night of sleep.  I was super cold so I put on socks and a long sleeve tshirt.  I went back to bed.  Still freezing.  I prance downstairs to investigate turning on the furnace.  The thermostat says that it is 68 degrees.  I normally sleep at 65 so this should not be a problem.  I grab another quilt and back to bed I go, shivering the whole way.

I thought maybe I was getting sick.  [I also sneezed appox. 8 times this morning.]  And maybe that is part of it.  But part of it quite honestly may have been the sermon I was going to preach this morning.

I talked about gay marriage in my sermon.

gasp.  How could I not?  It was in the news all over the place this week.  Obama.  North Carolina.  Last weekend was our synod’s assembly, at which they voted to oppose the upcoming marriage amendment here in Minnesota.  I talked a lot about it with my staff.  [jD and I now hold weekly staff meetings.]  He’s in fact the one who really brought it to my attention and I think he is totally right.  [Right?]

But it still made me incredibly nervous.  And terrified.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I did not tell people what was right or what was wrong.  I tried not to even disclose my own views.  I tried to honor the gospel text in light of what is going on in our world.  That’s something we do every time we read scripture.  

So we talked about friendship.  And loving one another as Jesus commands us.  And how we can honor those gospel topics even when we disagree.  Even when we are scared.  How to be in community with each other.  Oh, how I pray the Holy Spirit used my words for good.

I do really feel like it should be addressed.  At ROG, to my knowledge, the congregation has had zero conversation about gay marriage.  To a point, that can’t be healthy either.  So I did it.  And I’m still terrified that I somehow planted seeds that will result in my removal.  [I exaggerate.]  I think I also want everyone to love me all the time; this might have ruined that with a few people.  But, truth be told, in a leadership position, if I don’t piss people off once in a while, I’m treading too lightly.  Mostly, I heard good feedback.  People acknowledged that it was a hard topic to address, and many thanked me for doing so.  

There was, though, that one gentleman who shook my hand and told me, “Read the Bible.  It’s all in the Bible.”

Interesting.  I’m pretty sure that’s what I did.  

“My commandment is this: Love one another as I have loved you.” [John 15]

Cleo the compost bin.

He’s come to live in my yard and decompose banana peels.

I had a startling revelation a couple weeks ago about how much I throw in my garbage that doesn’t need to be garbage.  Fruit peels.  Broccoli stems.  That half a bag of spinach that inevitably gets pushed to the back of the produce drawer.  Egg shells.  Coffee grounds.  [Plus seventy more things listed here.]  No need for all those things to go in a dumpster and take up space elsewhere when I can feed it to Cleo and have him go to work.  [Plus people tell me of the glorious soil that will be Cleo’s creation.  My thus far fictitious garden will be happy.]

I was beyond excited about this venture until my bubble was burst.  I learned that snakes like to live in such compost bins.  

I don’t do snakes.

I’m now about 56% beyond excited, 40% anxiety regarding possible snake presence, and 4% terrified to ever open the compost bid lid.

This will be more of a growing experience than I ever imagined.

Let me summarize confirmation last night.

Pastor Lindsay: Hey, guys.  I have some scones leftover from a meeting this morning if you want one.

Confirmands: scrunched noses  Scones?  What are scones?

Pastor Lindsay … Introducing international coffee treats and new sandwich shops to youth day by day.

We talked about the Psalms last night and I employed the confirmands to help me change the signboards at the church.  Pick a verse from a psalm, I told them.

Here is board number one:

Pastor Lindsay: You know how when you type in all capital letters, it’s like someone is yelling at you?  STEADFAST LOVE SURROUNDS THOSE WHO TRUST IN THE LORD!  I feel like the sign is yelling at us.

Confirmand: Pastor Lindsay, you know signs can’t talk, right?

We went to the second church sign.  And ran out of S’s.  Change of plans –

It’s been more than a couple weeks since I’ve had a complete, full day off and I’ve been a bit bitter about it.  And so today, I did no work.  It was the most wonderful, extraordinary day ever.  I look forward to doing it again soon – that whole not working thing.

I reorganized my craft room and sewed a curtain.

I displayed many of the instagram prints I ordered a couple weeks ago.

I made a batch of iced coffee.

I made my bed – actually made my bed.  It’s been weeks.

I ate a delicious supper of salmon and roasted broccoli.

I updated the firmware on the router in the office. [say what! I surprised myself.]

I discovered how to get internet in my house.  [three cheers for that one.]

I bought a roku and it is changing my life as I type.

I’m about to make scones to take to text study tomorrow.

I ran errands in Austin.

I assembled individual jars of cold oatmeal with strawberries.

Seriously.  This day has changed my life.  Yesterday, just knowing I would have a free day put a spring in my step.  And then today … lovely.  Absolutely lovely.  Alas, back to work tomorrow but then I’m just three short weeks away from a week of vacation.  I might count the days.

I was riding in the lead car to the cemetery for a funeral last week with my … erm … favorite funeral director.  [Favorite for a story I haven’t shared with you.  The last time we worked together on a funeral he violated my personal bubble by making the sign of the cross on my thigh while we rode to the cemetery.  I was disturbed.  Needless to say, the next time around I sat as close to the door and as far away from him as I could.  Now he just puts me on edge!]  This cemetery was a good fifteen minutes from the funeral home where the service had been.  [Even more time for him to invade my space.  But luckily he didn’t.]  We made small talk to and from.

So how are things going out at Red Oak Grove? he asked.

Well, there are getting to be fewer curve balls.

He laughed.  I think he thought I was kidding.  I’ll take laughing, as long as he’s not touching my leg.

As with any new job, there are curve balls!  Gradually, I’m getting through the firsts.  First Christmas.  First funeral.  First Easter.  First interactions with certain people.

But then with this week, I’m learning I’m still up to bat and there are curve balls a plenty.  

First wedding.  First wedding where there is little to no communication about anything.  First you’re-going-to-come-and-pray-at-the-reception-dinner-right? question the night of rehearsal even though I was never formally invited.  First funeral where a person involved wants to co-opt it from the preacher.  Figuring out air conditioning systems and audio systems.  Learning how to run a wedding rehearsal with fourteen attendants on either side.

I’m surviving.  I’m still alive.  But I’m sure ready for it to be Sunday evening.

I’m still at home.  I have the hardest time going to work on Monday mornings!  If I’m in the office by 10, that’s pretty good for me.  I feel a little guilty because the quilting women begin arriving by 8:30, likely when I’m still eating my breakfast in my pajamas and watching Josh Elliot on Good Morning, America.  But then I remember how I spent Saturday writing my sermon and I don’t feel so bad.

Anyways.  Here.  Have some links [web, not sausage] on this Monday morn.

Your brain on fiction.  Further proof that book nerds are awesome and so are their brains.

I won’t love you like a love song.  Thoughts on love in popular culture and what it really might mean.

I don’t even know if I like eggs benedict but it’s eggs benedict day!  It makes me want to try.  If I were to try, I would rely on the pioneer woman to teach me how.