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ninja pastor.

15 Mar
One of my confirmation students – we shall call her E. – likes ninjas.  She was a ninja for Halloween and knocked on my door with her siblings this past October.  She says her friends like to play ninja games and pretend that they are ninjas.  [I don’t even know what this means.]
E. often sticks around a bit later than other confirmation students and somehow, last week, we started talking about ninjas.  Just by chance, I snapped this photo of ninja facts from a bathroom wall back in the fall.  I thought it was humorous.  And a bit odd to be hanging in a high school ladies’ bathroom.
I pulled the photo up on my phone and started reading them off.  E. and I bonded over ninja facts.  Can you email that to me? she asked.  Sure.  Email it to my mom.  Okay … but I made E. promise to tell her mom that it would be arriving in her inbox and that it was E. who requested it.  Yeah, I’ll tell her.

I emailed it to E.’s mom the next morning.  I received a response saying that she would pass it on and that E. had told her it would be coming.  Good.
I saw and chatted with E. last night after the Lenten service and meal.  I asked her about the ninja email.  I printed off like three copies and gave them to my friends.  I told them it was from my pastor.  They didn’t believe me.
I don’t blame them.  Pastor Lindsay: the pastor who knows as much about ninjas as she does about Noah.  Rightfully weird and unbelievable to the average seventh grader.  [but secretly proud of it.]
13 Mar

 Every creative story is different.  And yet every creative story is the same: There was nothing, now there is something.  It’s almost like magic.

[How to Be Creative]

I’m in love with those words.  It’s almost like magic.

stolen wedding.

10 Mar
I met with a couple for the first time this morning.  They are getting married this summer and thus far we had only spoken on the phone.  [They currently live over an hour away but are both from the area and are getting married just down the road.]  We got together just to meet, get a few more details from one another, and chit chat about next steps.
They begin describing a bit of their wedding.  Sentences like, “It’s going to be really simple.”  “… on the farm.”  “The guests will sit on hay bales.”  “Very country.” 
Through the conversation, I’m nodding, adding in an occasional “oh for cute,” and smiling at how happy they do seem as a couple.
On the inside, all I can think in an angry tone is how they stole my wedding.
Have you not seen my if I ever get married pinterest board?  [Oh, you haven’t?  Click here.]

I guess I’ll have to go to my wedding as the preacher first.

merry march.

9 Mar
Today was a super merry day.  
Laundry.
I cleaned. 
p90x cardio. 
The sun was shining. 
I sewed a blue curtain.
Mabel and I took a walk.
We ran errands in Austin.  Mabel drove.

All day, I kept thinking about everything that makes me super happy.  Here’s a merry march list:

. a clean bedroom.
. season five of HIMYM. [maybe this is why I like it so much?]
. an organized recycling station in my garage.
. hard-boiled or oven-cooked eggs.  [updated post on the matter here.]
. warmer weather.
. horse apples [horse apples, you say?  an expression of disbelief, guilt, or calling bluff.   I first was exposed to the delightful phrase while in Dawson and Ted on HIMYM just said it!]
. chocolate almond milk rediscovered.
. a subscription to Time magazine.
. thoughts of chairs and a small table on the balcony with warmer weather.  I will drink my coffee and read whilst there.
. wearing my matchbox twenty tour tshirt, knowing another album from my favorites is in the works.
. this song.
. the idea of sewing books.

It was a good day off.  Back to work with a premarital meeting, a small graveside service, Bible study prep, and a sermon to write tomorrow.  Each week my sanity remains in check if I have at least one day filled with non-work-related tasks and fun.

Check.  

this was my day. [updated]

8 Mar
[updated: I grew up going to Farm & Fleet and even though the Fleet Farms of Minnesota seem a bit backwards to me, they make me extremely nostalgic and happy.  Lots of nuts.  I used to go with my dad.  We would buy orange slices.  As for the communion visit with a 90 year old who loves his iPad, there is no more awesome to say about that.]
[updated: Finding this pin on pinterest and eating lots of hard boiled eggs these days, I tried my hand at the oven method.  It worked!] 
[updated: Nothing much more to say here but that I spent over $60 on this pup at Fleet Farm between new toys – since she ate her old ones – and 40# of dog food.  Uffda.]
[return to merry march post]

gnomepreacher, we have a problem. or five.

8 Mar
I have a problem.  [well, really, one of many]

I can’t say no.
I’m like Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 Dresses like that.  [The similarities end there.  I only have four bridesmaid dresses.]  I need James Marsden to teach me to say no at a bar.  And then afterwards we will sing along to a rousing classic 80s tune while standing on the bar.

A woman called me last week.  She’s not a member but she’s looking for a pastor to marry her and her fiance.  On July 4th weekend.  In a town 45 minutes away.  They want a religious ceremony but her finace’s pastor will not do the marriage because they have a son.  [*cough* Missouri synod *cough*]  So what did I do?  I said sure, let’s have more conversation about it … even though I really just wanted to say no.  Even if I don’t know the person, I want them to like me and not disappoint them … curse it.  Hello wedding #5 for the summer.

A follow-up problem: I don’t ask for help and I have perfectionist tendencies towards things that really are inconsequential.  [Does the new bulletin board need to be covered in fabric?  No.  But I’ll make sure it is.]
But that one is for another day.  
One problem at a time.

oh the things seen and heard.

4 Mar
Yesterday was a craft day at ROG.  Women came with their boxes of scrapbooking materials and camped out in the fellowship room for the day.  One of the women brought her granddaughter and this particular 9 year old decided she wanted to go to the parsonage to help me let Mabel out at lunch time.  In confident fashion, she strolled about the first floor of the parsonage while I got a treat for Mabel.  You have a big house, she said.  Yes, yes I do.  I made some comment about it being big for just one person – no husband or kids here.  But do you want a husband some time?  You cut to the heart of me, nine-year-old inquisitive little lady.
Today the congregation of Red Oak Grove heard me singing whilst I taught the children [and whole congregation] the Superman table prayer.  During the month of March, we’re focusing on bringing in food for local food shelves and so for children’s sermons, I’m teaching table prayers for them to take home and [hopefully] use.  I’m to the point in my time here when I feel comfortable singing and thus making a fool of myself.  It was enjoyed by all.
Following worship was Bible study and following Bible study was my turn to attend a birthday party for a 90 year old member of the congregation.  It was pizza and cake style party with all around good conversation.  At one point, in the middle of some subject, the 90 year old of honor pointed to me and said, I worry about you!  Erm, excuse me?  Marj does not want me to mow my own lawn.  Proudly I say that’s not because I’m a woman but because she knows I’m busy and – in her words – don’t have time.  Love her.
Paige and I both lamented the loss of our Saturday nights to sermons and early bedtimes so we celebrated Saturday night tonight with a movie and dinner out.  We lost ourselves for an hour and a half in the entertainment and eye candy of This is War and then headed to Perkins because this girl craved french toast of all things.  Perkins doesn’t have just any kind of french toast but oh la la french toast.  When Scott – I’ll call him Scotty – came to take our order, I ordered the french toast.  The oh la la french toast? he asked.  Yes.  I just like to say it.  Oh la la.  Oh Scotty.

blog navigation.

3 Mar
Just a few blog navigation tips for your reading pleasure and convenience –
First, check out the pages at the top of the blog.  You can read about how the blog began [about], watch cooking pastor videos of old, and I’ve just added a new one of lists.  Click on that tab to find the latest recipes I’ve tried, the movies I’ve watched, and books read.  Maybe favorite free font downloads soon too.
Second, if you hover your mouse to the right of the screen, a pop-up menu will appear.  Here you can become a follower of gnomepreacher blog [I’ll be honest – I don’t really know what this actually means unless you log into your blogger home screen often.], search the blog archive by year, and find me elsewhere [twitter, pinterest, tumblr, etc.].  You can also hit the subscribe button, enter your email, and then you’ll receive new posts in your inbox.  [If you’re picky about the amount of emails in your inbox, this option can get annoying as I get wordy and post-happy.  That’s your warning.]
Third, this is an unrelated photo of the yellow bird votive candle holder I bought from Urban Outfitters [part of the total I had to spend to get free shipping].  I like it.  Candles are my new favorite.  Between those and the latest dimmer switch on the overhead lights, we’re all about the mood lighting here at the parsonage.  [um…]

today’s lessons.

2 Mar
Today’s lesson is three-fold:
I need to learn to live in the moment.  Because I don’t.  Today, I let tomorrow ruin my day.  I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, especially since I didn’t do any of the work I should have today.  Knowing what is to come tomorrow, I did nothing today [work or other] because I dread the amount of work on my desk.  Not only that, it was so great to have a visitor when Ben stopped by.  [see previous post and visit anytime!]  When visitors leave, it sucks.  Because it’s lonely and weird to live alone all the time.  And thus I spent today dreading tomorrow and mourning the departure of a visitor.  Today was just blah because of what was and what is to come.  Blah.
Only I can change myself.  I’m not a tree.  If I don’t like what’s going on or where I am or what I’m doing, I can change.  Maybe I should try that instead of complaining and being a crabby pants, eh?  [Permission granted to tell me to suck it up and quit complaining at any point.]
I will create a pump up playlist, burn it to cd, and put it in my cd player to always be at the ready.  I could have used a little pump-up music right around 1pm this afternoon right before I sat down to watch a whole lot of nothing, put together my puzzle, and take a nap.  I’m thinking a little party rock, florence, and katy.  Other suggestions welcomed.
[you know way back when a la fall when my blog posts bordered on the depressing line and a few of you said you thought you might have to stop reading?  no worries.  this isn’t one of many but one of today engaged in my therapy of writing.  unicorns and rainbows.  unicorns and rainbows.]

So Ben stopped by …

2 Mar
My Alaskan brother was in the lower forty eight this past week.  He skied the Birkebeiner cross-country ski race and hung out with his boys at the family cabin.  I didn’t expect to see him at all but then he called early Thursday morning and asked if he could spend the night en route to MSP to fly back today.
So Ben stopped by.  Because he gave me approximately six hours of warning, I wasn’t quite prepared for his arrival.  We had to get groceries and we went to Lowe’s to buy a dimmer switch.  I put my electrician brother to work while I made dinner and now I love my lower-light-adjustable great room.
So Ben stopped by and stayed until Friday morning.  We watched Modern Family and I impressed him with my oatmeal cooking and hard egg boiling skills.  [It doesn’t take much to impress Ben.]  He met Mabel and gave her lots of pats on the head.
So Ben stopped by and on the way out the door, as Mabel and I walked him out, somehow the lock on my screen door was pushed down.  [I blame someone’s duffel bag o’ luggage.] Mabel and I said goodbye to the brother with a side hug and he made his way to the cities.  He drove off and I was locked out.
To have a hidden key in the garage is a great strategy but in order for that to work one has to remember where the key is hidden.  I tore the garage apart for over an hour.  Tears were shed.  Curse words cursed. I jumped for joy when the custodian drove in the church parking lot and then quickly became sad again when he told me no one else has keys to the parsonage.  Call a locksmith, he suggested.  I decided to do a once more over in the garage.  And found the key.  I will never forget where that key is ever again.
So Ben stopped by.  Mabel and I were locked out.  Happy Friday.
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