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oh the things seen and heard.

4 Mar
Yesterday was a craft day at ROG.  Women came with their boxes of scrapbooking materials and camped out in the fellowship room for the day.  One of the women brought her granddaughter and this particular 9 year old decided she wanted to go to the parsonage to help me let Mabel out at lunch time.  In confident fashion, she strolled about the first floor of the parsonage while I got a treat for Mabel.  You have a big house, she said.  Yes, yes I do.  I made some comment about it being big for just one person – no husband or kids here.  But do you want a husband some time?  You cut to the heart of me, nine-year-old inquisitive little lady.
Today the congregation of Red Oak Grove heard me singing whilst I taught the children [and whole congregation] the Superman table prayer.  During the month of March, we’re focusing on bringing in food for local food shelves and so for children’s sermons, I’m teaching table prayers for them to take home and [hopefully] use.  I’m to the point in my time here when I feel comfortable singing and thus making a fool of myself.  It was enjoyed by all.
Following worship was Bible study and following Bible study was my turn to attend a birthday party for a 90 year old member of the congregation.  It was pizza and cake style party with all around good conversation.  At one point, in the middle of some subject, the 90 year old of honor pointed to me and said, I worry about you!  Erm, excuse me?  Marj does not want me to mow my own lawn.  Proudly I say that’s not because I’m a woman but because she knows I’m busy and – in her words – don’t have time.  Love her.
Paige and I both lamented the loss of our Saturday nights to sermons and early bedtimes so we celebrated Saturday night tonight with a movie and dinner out.  We lost ourselves for an hour and a half in the entertainment and eye candy of This is War and then headed to Perkins because this girl craved french toast of all things.  Perkins doesn’t have just any kind of french toast but oh la la french toast.  When Scott – I’ll call him Scotty – came to take our order, I ordered the french toast.  The oh la la french toast? he asked.  Yes.  I just like to say it.  Oh la la.  Oh Scotty.

blog navigation.

3 Mar
Just a few blog navigation tips for your reading pleasure and convenience –
First, check out the pages at the top of the blog.  You can read about how the blog began [about], watch cooking pastor videos of old, and I’ve just added a new one of lists.  Click on that tab to find the latest recipes I’ve tried, the movies I’ve watched, and books read.  Maybe favorite free font downloads soon too.
Second, if you hover your mouse to the right of the screen, a pop-up menu will appear.  Here you can become a follower of gnomepreacher blog [I’ll be honest – I don’t really know what this actually means unless you log into your blogger home screen often.], search the blog archive by year, and find me elsewhere [twitter, pinterest, tumblr, etc.].  You can also hit the subscribe button, enter your email, and then you’ll receive new posts in your inbox.  [If you’re picky about the amount of emails in your inbox, this option can get annoying as I get wordy and post-happy.  That’s your warning.]
Third, this is an unrelated photo of the yellow bird votive candle holder I bought from Urban Outfitters [part of the total I had to spend to get free shipping].  I like it.  Candles are my new favorite.  Between those and the latest dimmer switch on the overhead lights, we’re all about the mood lighting here at the parsonage.  [um…]

today’s lessons.

2 Mar
Today’s lesson is three-fold:
I need to learn to live in the moment.  Because I don’t.  Today, I let tomorrow ruin my day.  I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, especially since I didn’t do any of the work I should have today.  Knowing what is to come tomorrow, I did nothing today [work or other] because I dread the amount of work on my desk.  Not only that, it was so great to have a visitor when Ben stopped by.  [see previous post and visit anytime!]  When visitors leave, it sucks.  Because it’s lonely and weird to live alone all the time.  And thus I spent today dreading tomorrow and mourning the departure of a visitor.  Today was just blah because of what was and what is to come.  Blah.
Only I can change myself.  I’m not a tree.  If I don’t like what’s going on or where I am or what I’m doing, I can change.  Maybe I should try that instead of complaining and being a crabby pants, eh?  [Permission granted to tell me to suck it up and quit complaining at any point.]
I will create a pump up playlist, burn it to cd, and put it in my cd player to always be at the ready.  I could have used a little pump-up music right around 1pm this afternoon right before I sat down to watch a whole lot of nothing, put together my puzzle, and take a nap.  I’m thinking a little party rock, florence, and katy.  Other suggestions welcomed.
[you know way back when a la fall when my blog posts bordered on the depressing line and a few of you said you thought you might have to stop reading?  no worries.  this isn’t one of many but one of today engaged in my therapy of writing.  unicorns and rainbows.  unicorns and rainbows.]

So Ben stopped by …

2 Mar
My Alaskan brother was in the lower forty eight this past week.  He skied the Birkebeiner cross-country ski race and hung out with his boys at the family cabin.  I didn’t expect to see him at all but then he called early Thursday morning and asked if he could spend the night en route to MSP to fly back today.
So Ben stopped by.  Because he gave me approximately six hours of warning, I wasn’t quite prepared for his arrival.  We had to get groceries and we went to Lowe’s to buy a dimmer switch.  I put my electrician brother to work while I made dinner and now I love my lower-light-adjustable great room.
So Ben stopped by and stayed until Friday morning.  We watched Modern Family and I impressed him with my oatmeal cooking and hard egg boiling skills.  [It doesn’t take much to impress Ben.]  He met Mabel and gave her lots of pats on the head.
So Ben stopped by and on the way out the door, as Mabel and I walked him out, somehow the lock on my screen door was pushed down.  [I blame someone’s duffel bag o’ luggage.] Mabel and I said goodbye to the brother with a side hug and he made his way to the cities.  He drove off and I was locked out.
To have a hidden key in the garage is a great strategy but in order for that to work one has to remember where the key is hidden.  I tore the garage apart for over an hour.  Tears were shed.  Curse words cursed. I jumped for joy when the custodian drove in the church parking lot and then quickly became sad again when he told me no one else has keys to the parsonage.  Call a locksmith, he suggested.  I decided to do a once more over in the garage.  And found the key.  I will never forget where that key is ever again.
So Ben stopped by.  Mabel and I were locked out.  Happy Friday.

leap, leap, leap.

1 Mar
I promised to report what crazy and absurd thing I did on leap day, this extra day we had yesterday.  Ready?
We had a soup supper before worship last night at Red Oak Grove.  I sat with a bunch of kids and challenged Justin, a confirmation student, to the saltine challenge.  [saltine challenge: the ability to eat seven saltine crackers in one minute.]  And by challenged I mean I timed him as he did it; I didn’t participate.  He didn’t quite make it, though it was an honorable effort.  Maybe he’ll practice his game this week and we’ll do it again next week.
Ross from Friends, after a long day, tells Phoebe in one episode, “I like to come home and kick back with a puzzle.  I mean beer.  Ice, cold beer.”  I’m so crazy that I did both last night.
I’ve wondered for awhile if I could be a puzzle person.  I have the perfect table in my living room and I have the perfect somewhat boring personality to enjoy such folly.  Then, this past week, I found the perfect puzzle.  It’s a Jane Austen puzzle, packaged in a box that looks like a book.  I went to town on it last night while watching the movie Leap Year from the corner of my eye.  Wild and crazy, let me tell you.  The story of my life.
See you again in four years, February 29th.

happy leap day!

29 Feb
First, watch this for your astronomy/leap day lesson:

Second, do something abnormal.  [Uh, my life?]  Something crazy.

Me?  Well, I have my first Lenten mid-week service tonight.  We’re talking about what the Bible is.  [It’s a companion to our Sunday morning Lenten Bible study at which we had 26 people on Sunday!  Holy cow!]  So I will eat soup at the supper the precedes the service, lead/preach, and then go home.  Watching the movie Leap Year would be appropriate but I may just unpack and go to bed.  I’ve been gone in St.Paul for the last two nights at a tiring conference, talking confirmation and thinking about possibility.  
But I promise to do something crazy when the moment strikes.  You too.  Go crazy.  Go bananas.  [And then tell me what you do and we’ll compare craziness.]

the lindsay chronicle.

24 Feb
I’ve been gone for a while now.  These could be my excuses:
. it’s lent.
. work is crazy.
. I’ve been a wee bit lazy.
While those all factor in a bit, the real reason is that I haven’t had much to say.  
Throughout the day, while I drive or while I inevitably chew my fingernails to shreds at my desk, I write blog posts in my head.  I make mental notes of things I want to tell you.  Sometimes I scribble them on scrap paper and make notes on my phone.
No blog posts in my head this past week.  No mental notes or notes of any kind in relation to all things blog.  Huh.
Just as an update of sorts, so I can blog at least something, here’s a taste of the lindsay chronicle [my latest fake paper]:
I had a meeting this morning with a crazy lady.  She wanted to talk to me about the services available for elderly in Steele County.  She was quite loopy and could never quite let me finish a thought or ask a question, but I enjoyed her.  We talked about everything from doodles [the dog] to Alaska to how her son met his wife on an online Christian dating site.  We shook hands as we left the coffee shop but then she stopped, said, “Oh, hey.  I’m a hugger!” and proceeded to hug me after we had known each other for approximately 63 minutes.
Last year, I bought my current salad plates from Urban Outfitters.  At the time, they were out of the blue.  I checked the website today and score!  They had blue ones so I decided I needed them to complete my stack of plates that I love so dearly.  Well, turns out it was free shipping over $50 and without crossing that mark, my $12 total order was going to cost $10 to ship.  Thus, I did exactly what they wanted me to do.  I also bought a scarf, two more plates, and a yellow bird votive candle holder.  Free shipping, baby!
It continues to be proven that I am most productive at doing other things when I have a sermon to write.  Today, after my meeting with the crazy lady and then a board meeting in Austin, I mopped my floors.  Cleaned the kitchen.  Baked cookies for a Sunday Oscar party.  [Are you watching the Oscars?  I printed these off earlier this week for the party.  Cast your vote and play bingo!]  Started to watch The Tree of Life and then stopped because it was weird.  And now, in par with the boredom/avoidance factor, I will be in bed by 10:30.  Sermon tomorrow.
I’m having dinner in Austin tomorrow night with Lori, my pastor friend and mentor of awesome from Dawson, and her family, and then they will come to Red Oak Grove to worship on Sunday.  Sunday is a busy morning of the beginnings of a Bible study during coffee hour [color me nervous – lindsay the two. always afraid of letting people down.], followed by a service at the care center in Blooming.  Sunday night is Oscar night [I still must inflate my red carpet date.*] and then Monday I’m Luther-Seminary-bound for an event on confirmation.  I’m really excited for the conversation to be had and to see lots of friendly CYF faces on campus.
So that’s life.  Maybe this week I’ll have more to report.  Even with my poor record of writing, this month has somehow already become the month with the most blog hits in the history of its existence.  [say what?!]  So yay you for reading [seriously.  thanks!] and boo me for not writing. 
And enough about me.  What’s new with you?
* You’ll see.

I found this on pinterest and honey, I agree.

23 Feb

sew productive.

19 Feb
It was a super productive weekend at the sewing machine in the ROG parsonage this weekend.  [One could say that I was a sewing machine.  Pity laugh?]  The craft room has been a bit neglected lately, but I made up for it this weekend.  Using the clearance cloth napkins I bought at Target last weekend and the pillow forms I found for 60% off at JoAnn’s, I made four throw pillows.  [I did not make the middle one.  I made the others to match … but I did buy the middle one on clearance.]  As I’ve been shopping around for household items, I’ve been grossed out by how expensive throw pillows are and that is why I’ve had none for the last six months.  I figure mine came together for about $9/piece and roughly 15 minutes to sew each.  And then I made a curtain for the upstairs balcony door. 
Saturday was a fun fabric day.  First, Amanda – my new friend from Owatonna who is an intern there this year – and I traveled south to the Calico Hutch.  The Calico Hutch, in Hayward, is what the ladies would call the best quilt shop around.  Amanda was looking to embark on her first quilting project and I have a baby quilt in my future.  [A baby quilt.  Not a baby.  Just to clarify.]  We both found what we were looking for and then had a mini-sewing machine tutorial at the dining room table while eating the new lemon girl scout cookies.  
Yesterday, The Practical Guide to Patchwork arrived in my mailbox from Amazon.  It’s a book by the blogger/quilter at Oh, Fransson [one of the blogs that made me want to learn to quilt in the first place] and I’m in love.  I’ve already learned a few tidbits [when prewashing fabric, take it out of the dryer when it’s still a little damp and iron immediately.  a world of difference!] and while I don’t know if I’ll tackle any of the quilt patterns from the book any time soon, I think it was a sound purchase.  Plus, it’s pretty.  Sometimes I just pick it up to stare at it and pet the cover.
This afternoon the fabrics on my cutting mat met their match.  I dedicated my entire afternoon to the craft room and have 18 quilt squares to show for it.  Two to go and then the sashing will begin.
There is still a pile of more projects in the sewing room.  I want to construct a few of these fabric bins [and have already purchased the supplies] and I still need curtains for one of my bedroom windows.  Maybe a table runner.  And I need to finish my summer quilt.  All in good time, my friends.  All in good time.

honey.

16 Feb
I guess it’s my new name.
It’s no Sunshine like Keith, the custodian at Grace in Dawson, would call me, or Sweet Pea like Harry, a congregation member in Dawson.  But I’m pretty sure I’m getting a Honey identity here.
I heard it on Sunday as I was shaking hands.  There is an older gentleman, a man, who along with his wife, is a pillar of the congregation.  He shook my hand on Sunday after worship and said, “Good job, honey.”
Okay.  Fair enough.  I’m used to nicknames.  I didn’t think a whole lot of it.
He called the church today to see if his wife had left Bible study yet.  I answered his question and we began to end the phone conversation.  I’m fairly certain he ended it with a “Thanks, hun.”
I guess Lindsay is just too hard for people.  [That’s what Harry in Dawson told me anyways.  I still remember the first conversation we had.  “What’s your name again?” he asked me.  “Lindsay.”  “I won’t remember that.  I’ll call you Sweet Pea.”]  I will admit I almost prefer Honey over a simple Pastor.  “Good morning, Pastor.”  “Thank you, Pastor.”  “You’re weird, Pastor.”  [Okay.  The last one is made up.]  Too official.  Too formal.  *shiver*  I think it’s a generational thing.
Honey it is.
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