general wackiness.

19 Jan
My house is the location of oddities and wacky things of late.
Take my dog, for example.  I accidentally dropped an ice cube on the floor and she went NUTS.  Turns out she loves ice cubes.  Cheaper than buying milkbones, I suppose.  Today, I came home from work and found a storage container lid and paring knife on the carpet.  She took it from the counter while I was gone and, I guess, ate what small scraps of cheddar she could find.  A knife!  This dog is loca.  She has also taken a cheese grater from the counter and licked that clean.  I can’t imagine her tongue feels great.  This is all completely besides the fact that I think she might have separation anxiety.  shakes head  Did I mention she shreds toilet paper if given the chance too?
I woke up this morning and was quite warm in the house.  I didn’t think too much about it; it’s always super warm upstairs compared to down and the thermostat is set to increase in temp to 68 degrees right around 6am.  I figured it was normal.  Oh, no.  I looked at the thermostat – it was 80 degrees in here and the furnace wouldn’t shut off!  I had to push the reset button on the furnace in the basement for things to even begin to cool down.  Add that to the smoke detector that started chirping at some point during the night.  As I woke up and became conscious of it, I had two paths I could choose from – the Phil Dumphy [Modern Family] or the Phoebe [Friends] response.  I was set for Phil Dumphy but found the culprit right away; no need for the cheerleading baton.
Tonight the game table in my great room is my location, a sermon I must write before Sara comes to visit for the weekend.  [SPAM museum, here we come!]  I should mention that while I sit here, Mabel lays in the kitchen and intensely stares at me with ears perked.  No clue what that means.  Just moments before she was doing the same thing from a random location in the middle of the dining area.  She’s weird.

a movie review.

17 Jan
[Review?  Loosely.]

This is really just me spewing about the delightful movie I watched last night because I can’t get it out of my head.  It’s one of those movies [in a good way].

I’m hit and miss with Mr. Woody Allen.  I love Scoop but Match Point wasn’t for me.  And … actually, that’s about as far as Woody and I go.  So really, we were fifty/fifty until last night.
Midnight in Paris is, as I said above, simply delightful.  Owen Wilson is adorable and his character a writer.  He spends his nights in -literally – another time, drinking with the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemenway.  I enjoyed the literary funnies and cultural details of another era.  
You should rent it, watch it, and let me know your verdict!* [please see clause below]
*Rent and watch at your own risk.  If you rent and watch and hate, no blame can be passed to gnomepreacher.  Be warned that the genre of “Lindsay Classic” [movies loved by Lindsay, too often obscure and forced upon others for viewing opportunities] is not everyone’s favorite. Gnomepreacher will not reimburse your $1.29 redbox rental fee if you are unsatisfied with the movie; she will, however, ask you what’s wrong for you not to enjoy such a delightful, cinematic dream. 

I will not feel guilty.

16 Jan
I will not feel guilty about not working today.
I will not feel guilty about not working today.
I will not feel guilty about not working today.
That’s my refrain.  And so I drink coffee, watch Parenthood, and pin.  [Okay.  I did send two work emails.  But that’s it.]  Pinterest and I have been pretty distant lately but here’s the latest scoop of favorites:

Salted caramel cupcakes.  numnum.

Source: etsy.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

This is precisely what I have in mind for the entryway to my house!  [kid optional]

a failure.

15 Jan
The fear of trying something new is the fear of failure. *nods head* I experienced that today.
I had a funeral yesterday; it wiped me out. I got home around 1:30 and ended up asleep on the couch, slightly accidentally. I still had a Sunday sermon to write and very little energy/creativity with which to do it. It wasn’t my best. At all. But as Kendall would tell me on internship – you can’t hit every one out of the park. True story. I’m living, preaching proof.
In my sleepy state last night, I added a “turn to your neighbor” section of the sermon. I’ve put them in sermons before but when I’m in the pulpit, I always make the split-second decision to leave it out. David Lose, a professor I had in seminary, writes a weekly column on workingpreacher.org about the texts for the week. Lose is huge on the congregation participating in a sermon and I whole-heartedly agree with the reasoning and proposal of it. So I tried it, and even – quite literally – wrote the encouragement to do it in my manuscript.

And so I was brave … and it did fail. Miserably. They kind of just stared at me. They were likely hard questions. I probably didn’t set it up well enough. Or, maybe, the people in the pews didn’t pay much attention and simply didn’t want to play an active role in the ten minutes of the service when they can sit and zone out. Failed. Lesson learned. [That lesson being either chickening-out-is best or try-again-with-clearer-explanation. I’m not sure which.]
It’s okay though because the failure of the morning sermon quickly was forgotten and made way for a perfectly pleasant afternoon and evening. First up – Kendall, Emily and family popped by for a brief visit! It was beyond fun to welcome Dawson friends and show them around the place I call home and church. They were en route to another destination but I was so thankful they made the brief detour.
Next, I drove to Owatonna to meet up with Paige at the movie theater. We took in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Foregoing any book-to-movie comparisons, it was entertaining, although graphic. I liked Daniel Craig’s coat. On the way home, I began a 1.5 hour phone conversation with Joel and Melissa in Montana in which we talked about ministry joy and celebrations, television shows to watch, and the art of ping-pong on dining room tables. It was great to catch up [as always]!
And now I must retire for the evening. Between a funeral yesterday, church this morn, and a two-sermon weekend, I’m exhausted. And think I won’t be working tomorrow, or, for what little work I will do, I will do it in sweat pants from home [with the exception of the evening meeting I have]. I’m in need of a sanity day and, recalling that self-care is not selfish, will take the sanity as best I can.

two goals.

13 Jan
I entered this weekend [my wkend = Friday and Saturday] with two goals.  First, to make english muffins from scratch.  Second, to give my dog a bath.  Done and [kinda] done.  It’s amazing what I can get accomplished besides/instead of that funeral sermon for tomorrow and Sunday sermon for regular worship.
I don’t know if you know this about me but I love english muffins.  In fact, I don’t buy bread.  I buy english muffins.  Love them.  I wanted to try my hand at making them from scratch and, lo and behold, they turned out.  They are, however, much more time consuming than going to the store and buying a pack.  The drinking glass I used to cut them from the rolled dough was a little small so they are mini-english muffins but just as delightful.  I may need to try it again in the future with whole wheat flour.
And second.  I talked to Banana Kim on the phone Wednesday night and she mentioned that she gives her lab puppy a bath once a month and it seems to help with the shedding.  [The shedding is off the charts on the disgusting meter lately.]  I guessed it was something I should do [We had outside dogs growing up.  We never gave them baths.  I’m clueless with this sort of thing.] even though I have her signed up to be groomed when I have to board her later this month.  I bought doggy shampoo and then tried to barricade her in the bathroom.  It didn’t turn into much of a bath because I couldn’t figure out how to get her in the tub.  Dumb, right?  Totally!  But how do you make a 90 pound dog get into a bathtub they don’t want to get into?  I gave up rather quickly and then attempted to give her a scrubdown on the bathroom floor.  Four soaked old bath towels later, she was a little bit cleaner than when we began.  She did not like it one bit so in the future, I think I’ll leave this task to the professionals.
And so, my two goals for the weekend are more or less complete and I still have two sermons to write.  I suppose my next goal should be to finish those … or to finish the second disk of season three of HIMYM?  Hmm.

edible bananagrams.

12 Jan
Did you know they make Scrabble Cheez-Its?  Maybe I’m way behind on my knowledge of types of crackers and should make it a point to study the cracker/cookie aisle more thoroughly, but when I saw them at the grocery store, I decided they would make a perfect confirmation snack.  Before we began our lesson, we played bananagrams with them.
After that brief, unrelated activity, we dived into our lesson.  This January, we’re all about the 10 Commandments.  To begin, we each took five minutes, a scratch sheet of paper, and wrote them in our own words.  We compiled our answers and this was our collaborated conclusion:
My favorite part?  The “urself” and “u” and “ur” and “r.”   For this, it’s cute.  [I told them text language was fair game.]  However, in regards to general society, it’s a bit sad.  I have a friend who teaches at a junior high and he says that teachers regularly get papers and homework turned in with such abbreviations.  It makes the grammar nerd in me cry on the inside.

joys of the week.

11 Jan
The joys of this crazy busy week include, but are not limited to —
. explaining to a table of women at the care center why my gloves have holes in them.  [They’re touch screen phone gloves – my finger and thumb are meant to be exposed.]
. morning walks with Ms.Mabel.
. a busy office – people have stopped by!  During the week, ROG can be a pretty dull and lonely place.  Yesterday we had a gov’t employee, doing water samples [He was delightful.] and an internet man, who gave us hope that in one-two months, he can give us high speed internet.  [But not until then.  We need to wait for a new tower to be put up.  But there is hope!]
. a feeling of competence at my job.  [Funeral number two is on the calendar for Saturday and I feel much more prepared and able this time around.  That feeling of competence is my joy; the funeral is not.]
. new photos in frames.
. laughing at the incredibility that Alaska is short on shovels.  It’s just wacky.  [Ben is working unlimited overtime to get snow off roofs.  I just can’t imagine.]
. dreaming about owning snowshoes.
. we’re all about buying mosquito nets at ROG this month.  [In fact, I hung mosquito pictures all over the church.  They won’t go away until we buy nets!]  In worship I put together a big metal bucket with netting and during the offering, kids are invited to come up and throw money into it.  [Make it noisy!]  There were adults handing coins to kids and even one woman who gave me a handful at the communion rail.  I LOVE me a church uniting for an awesome cause.
. lunch in Owatonna tomorrow with a crew of friends.
. gusto postcards like the one below.  [A nearly daily email I discovered via my friend, Megan, over at S&S.  It’s always cute and inspiring.]  I love my gusto – “the passionate, ridiculously wise, unflappably optimistic part of you that’s brimming over with a zest for life and the adventure that it is.”

Blooming.

9 Jan
Have you met Blooming? [a la Barney Stinson saying, “Have you met Ted?”  HIMYM is on the brain these days.]
We’re getting to know each other.  I’ve been to the hardware store. (I’m a grown up now who must buy salt for my water softener.) I have toured the schools. I go to the library for Internet (I went today and was reminded how fast internet can be. Cross your fingers – an internet provider is coming tomorrow to do a survey and see if he can provide us with our missing link to the outside world. In fact, I blog from my phone because this wifi from my phone isn’t working at all right now. ugh.) and to the care center to hang out with with congregational members. I go over to my friends Paul and Bernice’s house. (Paul fixed my barstools. They always invite me in for coffee and treats.) I’ve had pizza and dinner at the Pizza Cellar. But my favorite place in Blooming?
The Highway Roost. Beth is the owner and she’s super. They serve sandwiches on homemade wheat bread. It’s the place to be around the noon hour, or at 9am for coffee on the first Tuesday of every month. (The pastors in town gather.)
I mourn that there is no fancy coffee supplier (like another small town i know) and that town is not within walking distance but all in all, it’s a cute little town and I’m beginning to find my way around. (And now you can’t say that I never introduced you.)

paper.

7 Jan
Michael Scott: [to classroom of students] Paper is the future.  Write that down.
[students noisily type on their computers]
This post is brought to you by paper.
I mysteriously become a subscriber to odd magazines.  Last year, it was a magazine called Fresh Home.  I just started getting it in the mail.  In fact, I’d never heard of it.  Then a letter arrived, apologizing that Fresh Home would no longer be published and the remainder of my subscription year would be filled with Taste of Home instead.  Okay, well … great?  [But I never even signed up in the first place!  Why do you send this to me?  How did you get my name and address?  What’s going on?]  Now, all the more mysteriously, I’ve begun to receive another magazine with no clue how or why.  The second month of it arrived in the mailbox today.  According to the mailing label, my subscription to Money ends in November 2012.  [Scorecard for 1,100 funds?  Yesssss.]
I went to an ordination today.  Love me some scripture on yokes.  [And love me the art on the bulletin cover.]  Friend Sarah from seminary has been called to a church in Colorado and was ordained at her home church in Alexandria, about a three and a half hour drive from the grove.  Paige, Mabel and I made the drive.  [It was going to be too long a day to leave Mabel at home alone and my attempts to find someone to let her out were unsuccessful.  She does love car rides … so I think it was okay.]  The service was absolutely wonderful [emphasis on absolutely and wonderful] and it was great to catch up with my seminary roommate, Jeanette, and a favorite professor, Karoline.  On the way back, Paige and I met up with jD and Lauren for supper in Owatonna at the Asian Kitchen [real place] next to the beautiful people Starbucks.  Fun and fried chicken with rice was had by all.
Sometimes I think waiting until 8pm on a Saturday night is the best way to write a sermon.  [Half sarcasm, half truth.]  I sat down after arriving home, focused in with an episode of HIMYM, and kicked out a sermon in, oh, two hours.  It still needs tweaking and a conclusion but I consider it a small sort of accomplishment that I’m blogging and not frantically writing right now.  Thank you, Holy Spirit and old-sermon-from-which-I-recycled-three-paragraphs.

what strangers tell me.

6 Jan
Smiling is Elf’s favorite and apparently I don’t do it.  I must walk around with a scowl or frown because on more than one occasion, I’m reminded to smile by strangers.  I can think of three examples from the past couple months.  [And there’s more where they come from.]  
Example the first.  Working the Lutefisk dinner at First Lutheran in Blooming a few months ago.  I guess I wasn’t smiling or looking at all like I was enjoying myself because a fellow worker – who I did not know – came up to me and told me, “It’s okay to smile.” 
Example the second.  Fall Theological Conference.  I meet a pastor for the first time.  We’re in the same dinner group and then at the same hotel room party that follows.  [Hotel room party.  That makes pastors sound cool.]  He honestly tells me that he found me intimidating when we first met.  You know.  I could stand to smile.
Example the third.  I went to St.Paul tonight for a date with my stylist.  [He rejected my hair proposal and I’m not sure I like the fall back plan.  Haircut approval pending.]  I arrived on Grand Ave. early enough to walk down a few blocks to Cafe Latte for dinner.  [$9.58 spent out of my $50 January fun money but their chicken caesar pasta salad is always worth it.]  As I walked down the street, a man passed me in the opposite direction and said, “Smile!” as he walked by.  [It worked.  I did grin.]  And for someone to take the effort to say that to someone they don’t know – to someone whom they don’t know what the reaction will be – is weird.  Is there something about my non-smiling intimidation that oddly makes me approachable?  I’m confused.
I guess I need to pay more attention to my facial features and the emotions they convey.  [This isn’t really news.  I’ve always said, while pointing to my face, “I don’t control this.”]  I guess I need to smile more.  Feel free to remind me.  Apparently I easily forget.  
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